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How the Eight Myers-Briggs Types Manage Their Free Time

As we gather information, make decisions, and deal with others in matters connected with our leisure, the personality types manage time in very different ways. This is probably the most obvious difference in the types. Extraverts manage their time so they can be in contact with others. Sensors are on a never-ending search for more information about possibilities, while Intuitives operate on less external data and make decisions about their free time based on their own hunches. Thinkers are logical and cool about their how to spend their leisure, focusing on their own goals more than those of others. Feelers depend upon the pleasure of others as well as themselves. Judgers look at the measurable aspects of free time, such as how many miles they have traveled in a day, while Perceivers focus on the enjoyable aspects of the trip.

Extraverts vs. Introverts

Extraverts like to spend their free time on external pastimes—that is, shopping, talking on the phone, attending parties, and so on. They enjoy activities that provide them with a lot of stimulation. On the other hand, Introverts gravitate toward activities such as reading, going for walks, and listening to music. Their favorite pastimes can generally be enjoyed in solitude and are more contemplative. While both types might enjoy attending concerts, their tastes run a little differently. The Extravert likes concerts that invite audience participation and excitement. The Introvert wants to sit quietly and take in the music.

Sensors vs. Intuitives

Sensors are literal in their interpretation of time and how they would use it. They talk in terms of minutes and hours, not weeks and months. Years may be defined as fiscal and calendar years rather than decades. They are not futuristic. They think of time as ticking away. On the other hand, Intuitives use more abstract words in their conception of time: fleeting, linear, flowing, internal, abstract, etc. The sensor is likely to think of free time as immediate pleasure to be enjoyed in the here and now. Intuitives think more in “far off” terms, such as next year’s winter vacation. When asked what they’d like to do for fun, the Sensor might answer, “Throw a party this weekend,” while the Intuitive might say, “Plan a ski trip to Aspen this winter.”

Thinkers vs. Feelers

Thinkers are more objective and literal in their use of time. Whatever activities they choose, they prefer having specific checkpoints to monitor their success or progress. The word “people” seldom appears on their list because they are concerned with their own satisfaction primarily, not the attitudes of others. For the Feeling person, the ideal ski trip might mean involve Aspen with several friends, taking ski lessons together, and finding mutual satisfaction in the trip. The Thinker might envision more solo activities on the ski trip. If ski lessons are on the agenda, they’re likely to be solo lessons with only the Thinker and the ski instructor present.

Judgers vs. Perceivers

Judgers will organize their time in objective activities and use their list for measurable accomplishments. Perceivers are more open-ended and prefer to spend their free time in activities for which they will be less accountable. If a Judging/Perceiving couple are looking for a cruise to take, the Judger will first go online for pricing, and then systematically visit websites showing cruises that match their budget. The Perceiver will prefer to “wing it,” visiting different websites on impulse. He or she will look at photographs and take pleasure in imagining what the real thing is like. The challenge is for the partners to meet on middle ground where they can make a decision that satisfies them both. The Judger will probably want to make a decision on the first or second day of looking at websites. The Perceiver would be satisfied to look for a longer, open period—enjoying all the options without closure on any single one.

Tips for Time Management

The experts have some time management tips for each of the eight types.

Extraverts: Avoid having to share everything. Extraverts can be so distracted by outside social interactions that they lose sight of their goals.

Introverts: Don’t stay inside. Introverts should sense when the time is ripe to emerge from their privacy and seek support and guidance from outside sources.

Sensors: Remember that there’s more to time than minutes. Sensors need to see beyond the exactness of time. They can be nitpickers when it comes to deadlines and time, to the detriment of a plan or project when flexibility is appropriate, such as sailing.

Intuitives: Be realistic. Most Intuitive have an unrealistic perception of how long it will take to perform certain task, usually on the side of underestimation. This is where the Intuitive could profitably borrow from the Sensors perception of time.

Thinkers: Consider others’ time. Thinkers tend to overlook the human, subjective elements of time, forcing others to conform to their needs. They should learn to consider the schedules of other participants in a plan or project.

Feelers: Define your boundaries. Because Feelers often put the needs of others before their own, they can be imposed upon easily. Whoever is most needy gets their attention and time. Feelers must learn to say no without feeling guilty.

Judgers: Keep in mind that time is not always of the essence. Although Judgers are often masters of time management, making the most of every minute, they are sometimes in danger of executing their decisions prematurely just to reach a decision. Going too fast can sometimes endanger the outcome of a plan or project.

Perceivers: Try to focus. Perceivers often jump from one project to another, failing to focus on any single one. They may even see this as a form of time management, not realizing that some of the projects may be left unfinished.

Time is a resource that can be used or abused. By making optimal use of Myers-Briggs traits, individuals can make the best of their time, finishing projects in a timely manner while maintaining the good will of collaborators—or enjoying the progress of a project without focusing on measurable checkpoints.

Introverts in Retirement

Senior Couple Sitting On Outdoor Seat Together Laughing

As people grow older, their Myers-Briggs personality scores can change, but not much. Those whose scores were extreme on one or more traits tend to soften and move toward the middle. The ISTJ who had a strong thinking (T) score is likely to move a little toward Feeling, with stronger emotional elements in their personality than previously. This blog describes the eight Introverted (I) types in their retirement years. Every combination of traits is represented, making eight in all—Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J).

ISTJs in Retirement

Because ISTJs have been responsible, loyal employees all their lives, they’re likely to be enjoy corresponding financial rewards. Thus, most of them enter retirement with investments in place and can look forward to having enough money through the years ahead. Their habits of taking responsibility never end, either in the home or in the community. The main thing is, they get the chance to enjoy hobbies, relationships, and time with friends and family that formerly were unrealistic because of all their work commitments.

ISTPs in Retirement

For ISTPs, retirement is a time they’ve long looked forward to. In their working lives, there was never opportunity to pursue all their hobbies and other pursuits. A few postpone retirement if they get a great deal of satisfaction from their paid employment. Many have volunteer “careers,” which support their strong work ethic. Whatever ISTPs take up to pass the time, their absorption is so complete that they often forget to attend to mundane matters such as eating meals or meeting commitments they’ve made to friends and family.

ISFJs in Retirement

ISFJs have usually done retirement planning in advance. Since they’ve made a habit of saving money most of their adult lives, it’s likely that they have enough to carry them through the years ahead without paychecks. During the years of retirement, ISFJs mostly focus on their children and families, taking part in their lives and helping out wherever they can. They enjoy customs and projects that emphasize the family heritage. Service work continues to be an important theme for them.

ISFPs in Retirement

ISFPs continue to enjoy their friends and families. In their last years of employment, they look forward to retirement and spending more time with the people close to them. In retirement, ISFPs often find that they are loved and valued by the people who know them well. It’s a welcome time for them to enjoy the fruits of many well-tended relationships. They take pleasure in the simple activities of life—gardening, walking, reading, and so on. When grandchildren are being difficult they deal with them in a smooth, friendly, and encouraging way.

INFJs in Retirement

Because of their idealism and commitment to whatever career they’ve chosen, INFJs are likely to enjoy important positions of responsibilities by the time they retire. Financially, they may find their incomes and reserves in good shape without any previous careful strategic planning. They look forward to nurturing family relationships in the years ahead and seeing the foundations they have built for themselves to flourish. They treasure the increased leisure time to reflect and pursue their hobbies without interruption. They can also become further involved in interests they’ve developed but haven’t had much time for, such as writing.

INFPs in Retirement

INFPs in retirement need to look back and feel that their years of employment were worthwhile and had value for the people around them. It’s a time of life when they look forward to a variety of activities, such as travel. They may also strengthen their bond with family members and enjoy the opportunity to spend more leisure hours with them. Some grandparents enjoy special projects designed just for their grandchildren, such as writing stories about them, building a sandbox, and so on.

INTJs in Retirement

The life of the mind is always important to INTJs, during their years of employment and beyond. Some are so involved in their work that they don’t leave their jobs at age 65. If circumstances permit, they stay on, doing the same activities that engrossed them over the years. They have no time for frivolous pastimes or frivolous people. Scientists and others often continue to attend meetings relevant to their work and stay in touch with colleagues. INTJs with clear focus but few opportunities to socialize on the job may get lonely during retirement if they haven’t nurtured relationships with people who stimulate them.

INTPs in Retirement

As INTPs mature, they continue their quest for logical purity. Their hobbies reflect their intensity and purposefulness. Each hobby is thoroughly explored and its nuances worked out before the INTP moves on to the next activity. They are strongly cerebral, so whatever they do is matched by deep concentration and much thought. While their external world may have changed, their minds remain the same. Just because they no longer go to work doesn’t mean that their minds aren’t busy. Some onlookers may find that the INTP changes very little upon moving into retirement. They often continue activities that were previously important to them.

lntroverted Kids—Myers Briggs Types

October 18, 2018/1 Comment/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

According to the Myers Briggs system of classifying personalities, introverted children come in eight types. The only trait that runs as a constant thread through all types is Introversion (I). The others are Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J).

ISTJ—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

ISTJ children are reserved and responsible. They’re sincere and systematic in whatever they undertake. They function well in stable structures, where they know what’s expected of them. They are happiest in a comfortable school setting and an orderly family. They are cautious in unfamiliar social settings where they meet new people. They’d rather spend time with friends, whom they’ve selected carefully. “Slow and steady” and “Work before play” are their mottoes

ISTP—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

ISTPs are flexible and action-oriented children. They are great observers and enjoy figuring out how things work. Their curiosity drives them to gather details of particular subjects in which they’re involved, such as bugs, bicycles, dolls, etc. A girl who gets a drone as a gift may well develop a longstanding interest in airplanes and other devices that fly. They enjoy sharing detailed information about their hobbies, especially with other hobbyists. They take note of the differences between what people say and what they actually do.

ISFJ—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Judging (J)

ISFJ children are hardworking, loyal, conscientious, and service-oriented. Rarely are they a problem for their teachers and parents. ISFJs shy away from conflict and try to keep the peace at all costs. Because they like to please grownups, they’re often seen as perfect children. Routine and security are important to them. They want to know who will be at home when they arrive from school, whom they’ll play with, and so on. Frequently they are worriers. Because they are so introverted, it may not occur to them to share their problems with others. They have a few close friends, whom they may keep for years.

ISFP—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Perceiving (P)

ISFP children are quiet, pleasant and kind. They tend to have a number of friends because they are easy to like. They notice the feelings of others. When there is disharmony among their friends, and they try to restore peace. They notice what pleases others and often make gifts for people they like especially. They are very often aware of the sensations in their bodies and for this reason may enjoy pastimes such as dancing and ice-skating. They’re oriented toward deeply felt personal values and thus may find themselves outside certain popular social groups.

INFJ—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), Judging (J)

INFJ have two sides. On the one hand, they have a strong need for privacy, often spending long hours reading. Onthe other, they enjoy creative play with their friends—building snow forts, playing store, and so on. Solitude gives them a chance to think about the things most important to them. They have strong values, abhorring violence, and cruelty. They are quietly firm about their convictions, stepping to the fore only when no one else will. Gifted with words, they write well and when they do speak out, they’re eloquent. They have no fear.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

INTP children create fantasy worlds that they dream about. They’re immersed in their thoughts and books. Their parents sometimes worry whether they’re in touch with reality.F

This type of child often turns out to be adept at verbal communication, especially in writing. In new situations, they are reserved often to the point of being reluctant to give their names. They prefer relying on their own intuition and judgment rather than taking advice from others. Early on, they decide what’s important to them.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), Perceiving (P)

INFPs often amuse themselves with their private thoughts and fantasies rather get involved in the company of others. After moving to a new neighborhood, many will stay indoors and read rather than go out and make friends. When they do venture out, their circle is small. It’s where they feel most comfortable. Once they relax, they can make creative, amusing companions. While they make a welcome addition to a group, their own perception is often that they are “the odd man out.”

INFPs depend on themselves for answers to important questions. If they make mistakes, they are reluctant to admit them. They have firm value systems, which they refuse to bend. If the others choose to, that’s fine. Because of their outward gentleness, they will not make a big deal out of it.

INTJ—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

The independent nature of INTJs appears early in life. As children, they enjoy thinking about the way the world ought to be. They can be resistant to what authorities tell them when it contradicts what they believe. They like to establish their own rules and guidelines. The life of the mind is critical to their sense of who they are. They get involved in social activities only if they serve a particular purpose for them. The search for meaning and knowledge is what’s most important.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

As children, INTPs are inwardly focused, often enjoying their own company more than shared activities. They enjoy fantasies, mysteries and creative stories. Their style of entertaining themselves may be much different from that of most children.

They think about life and the natural world in a questioning, exploratory way (“Why is the moon broken?” one boy asked his grandmother.) Often gentle and soft-spoken in appearance and manner, INTPs can be hard and aggressive when defending a truth. They are at their best developing complicated ideas.

Sensors vs. Intuitives—The Dating Game

October 12, 2018/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Self help, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

In the dating game, the Sensing and Intuitive Myers-Briggs preferences can be a source of excitement and, at the same time, confusion.

Sensors are realistic about dating partners. They judge other people by what they do and say. Being grounded in objective reality, they aren’t impressed by phony facades or bragging. They clearly see the good and the bad in the here and now. Intuitives, with their active imaginations, are more titillated by the possibilities in their minds than what’s actually taking place in the present. They extrapolate from the evidence in front of them and don’t take it at face value. Sensors may fantasize, too, but they’re more likely to do it after the fact. Their perceptions in the moment must agree with what’s going on in reality, rather than their wishful thinking about the future.

Sensors are more tuned to their senses: how the date looks and sounds, whether he or she smells nice and has agreeable tastes in music and food. For them, the dating experience happens through the five senses. Intuitives are more interested in their hunches about the person. They experience dates more in the sense of potential for the future. The Intuitive is more interested in images conjured up by their imaginations—in other words, what the date should be like, more than what he or she actually is.

For Sensors, the date begins only when the two parties stand face to face. For Intuitives, the date begins as soon as arrangements are made. That leaves plenty of time to fantasize about possibilities.

One problem arises when the two types actually get together for their date. Sensors may have trouble following the Intuitive’s many trains of thought. Because good conversation is a major factor in the early phases of the dating game, the differences between the two types begin to emerge sooner rather than later. Sensors like to talk about concrete things: people they’ve met, experiences they’ve had, places they’ve been—with specifics provided in detail. Intuitives would rather talk about their dreams, visions, ideas, and other intangibles.

One aggravating problem for both parties lies in the details each provides. Sensing partners tend to interrupt the stories of their partners with corrections about dates, places, and so on. The Intuitive is less interested in minute details than in the main theme of the story.

Here’s an example of a story about poor restaurant service that Joe is telling friends:

Joe: We were eating at Chez Pierre, and they brought me a Martini instead of a Bloody Mary.

Susan: They brought you a Manhattan by mistake.

Joe: Then it took almost an hour to deliver my entrée.

Susan: It was 40 minutes.

Joe: And the trout wasn’t even cooked thoroughly.

Susan: You ordered grouper that night.

You can see how this couple could run into irritating conflicts over time—with the Sensing person aggravated by her partner’s factual errors and the Intuitive’s annoyance at being interrupted and contradicted like a small child.

For Sensors, it’s important that facts be presented correctly. The details are as important as flow and underlying meaning. For the Intuitive, the underlying message takes stage center.

Extraverts vs. Introverts—The Dating Game

October 12, 2018/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Self help, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Extraverts are naturals at the dating game. You can count on them to take the role of pursuer, make the date, and do the talking. They know how to fill the time and provide the entertainment, whether it’s just an evening of talking or a night on the town.

Extraverts carry on conversations with remarkable ease. In fact, when spending an evening with an Introvert, they can ask all the right questions, provide the answers, and then thank the Introvert for a wonderful time. They suggest different activities—bowling, dancing, the movies, etc. It’s not that Introverts are pushovers. But one event in an evening is enough, while Extraverts like to be everywhere at once.

The fact is, despite their differences, Introverts are drawn to Extraverts for their outgoing nature. Because they are so congenial, Extraverts can carry an entire conversation on their shoulders with no help from outsiders. They can practice their extraversion on ushers, waiters, hostesses, and anyone else within earshot. One Introvert said of her Extravert date, “I don’t need to show up for a date. My partner might not even miss me, but he’ll thank me for a good time.” It’s easy to be with an Extravert. You don’t have to worry how to act or what to say in public, or in private for that matter. The Extravert will do it all.

The ease of being with an Extravert is especially helpful in the first stages of a relationship. Don’t know what to say? Extraverts can keep a conversation going when nothing needs to be said. That’s why Extraverts perform so well on casual introductory dates. An Extravert coupled with an Introvert can enjoy the company of another person while still being alone, in a sense.

The advantages of the combination? The Extravert can keep the Introvert from isolating themselves too much of the time. On the other hand, Extraverts, like all of us, need some quiet time to keep from getting frayed around the edges. Introverts provide those intervals of peace and quiet.

Perceiving vs. Judging—The Dating Game

October 11, 2018/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Self help, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Perceiving (P) and Judging (J) are a set of opposite traits on the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. They are called the attitude traits. The other three sets are Extraversion vs. Introversion (energy), Sensing vs. Intuition (information-processing), and Thinking vs. Feeling (decision-making). Differences in the J-P function may cause considerable friction among opposites—particularly between the Judger, for example, who is always on time for appointments and the Perceiver who always arrives late.

The differences between a Perceiver and Judger are hard to hide on a day-to-day basis. Concealing one’s type is not all that difficult for other types. For example, an Introvert may have cultivated enough interpersonal and communications skills that he or she can come across as an Extravert. This is not uncommon. Or a smooth-talking Thinker may come across as a Feeling type when he or she is anything but. The J-P difference, on the other hand, is difficult to mask.

The differences between the two types are seen in the following example.

P: I saw the new library building this morning.
P: It must hold a lot of books.
P: The library will be open evenings.

J: I saw it, too. The architecture is beautiful. It must have cost a pretty penny.
J: I’ll look forward to a larger selection of books now.
J: I’m glad it will be open evenings. I can go after work.

Notice that the Perceiver makes no judgments about the new library. She’s seen it. It’s big. And it’s open in the evenings. On the other hand, the Judger’s remarks are full of value statements. The architecture is “beautiful.” He looks forward to a larger selection of books. He’s happy that he can now visit the library after work. These three statements have considerably more attitudinal closure—the hallmark of the Judger—than those made by the Perceiver.

This example is pretty tame compared with many of the scenarios faced by couples, based on their attitudes and outlook. In real life, both parties can get irritated by the obtuseness of the other. The Judger has an opinion, a plan, and a schedule for nearly everything. Perceivers, meanwhile, seem wishy-washy with their lack of opinions. They are easygoing about everything short of life-and-death issues.

Neither function, Perceiving or Judging, is better than the other. We need both types in the world. J’s need P’s to inspire them to relax, collect more information before reaching a decision, and not make major issues of relatively unimportant matters. P’s need J’s to help them get organized and follow through on decisions.

Judgers can be described as orderly and organized. Their actions are controlled. They’re always on schedule. They seem to make decisions quickly with a minimum of stress—far too quickly for the anxious Perceiver. Judgers plan their work and their daily activities and then stick to the plan, Even leisure time is organized. For Judgers, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything.

Perceivers try to create an environment that allows them to be flexible and spontaneous. They want to be ready to adapt to a variety of conditions that can’t be predicted. Making and sticking to decisions prematurely causes them anxiety. The person whose friends have trouble understanding where he or she stands on specific issues is usually a Perceiver—flexible, open, and not judgmental.

At their respective extremes, the Perceiver is almost incapable of making decisions. Judgers find it almost impossible to change theirs.

Thinking vs. Feeling—The Conflict

October 9, 2018/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Self help, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Thinking and Feeling are a set of opposite traits on the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. They are called the decision-making traits. The other three sets are Extraversion vs. Introversion (energy), Sensing vs. Intuition (how information is processed), and Perceiving vs. Judging (attitude).

Everyone exercises their Thinking-Feeling function based on information they’ve gathered, one way or another. This decision-making function—unlike the information-gathering function, which is the process of taking in data before doing anything about it—is all about closure. It is focused. Its purpose is to make judgments and determine what action to take.

The Differences

When a couple is buying a car, they look at its appearance, determine the price, and then test-drive it. During this time, they’re gathering information. If all the qualities of the car are right, they may decide to buy it. The buyer who is a Thinker—analytical, detached, and logical—is driven by objective information. He or she is likely to be swayed by price, mechanical characteristics of the car, and resale value. The Feeling person—flexible and more emotional—is likely to be influenced by comfort, eye appeal, and what others will think of the car.

If the Thinker and Feeler arrive at the same conclusion, that doesn’t mean that they’ve taken the same route to the decision. If, for example, the car were a distasteful color in the eyes of the Feeler, that alone could be sufficient reason for him to reject it as a choice. On the other hand, the Thinker might find the color of minor importance, outweighed by other factors. In this case, the two will disagree on the decision.

Conflict

Too often, in the intimate areas of life, Thinkers and Feelers pass like ships in the night. Because they so easily misunderstand each other, their dialogue is often laced with negative feelings and unresolved issues. Much interpersonal dissatisfaction can be the result on both sides.

It should be clear that Thinkers do more than just think. They feel, too. And the opposite is true. Feelers think. At best, the Thinking person can bring objectivity to the table in any decision-making situation involving the partners. The Feeling person brings an awareness of how their decision can influence others, or the subjective outcome of their proposed action. Together, they can complement each other, listening carefully to the arguments put forth by the other party. In this way, they can reach a decision that meets both their needs.

Thinkers Feel, Too

Because a Thinking person tends to be objective, it doesn’t mean that he’s always decisive. What’s at stake is the process by which the decisions are reached. The thinker tends to be objective and removed, while the Feeler is totally involved. Both care, think, and feel, but the routes by which they arrive at their decisions are very different. When they fail to understand each other, they can fall into the trap of mutual put-downs.

While more American men are Thinkers rather than Feelers and more American women are Feelers, it doesn’t mean that the trait is gender-specific. It’s estimated that about twenty-five percent of men are Feelers, and the same percentage of women are Thinkers. On first impression, this might be viewed as a natural and appealing split. Some women are charmed by a manly decision-maker, while many men may find feminine flexibility attractive. Over time, however, their differences can become a source of interpersonal problems. This is particularly true when women are thinking types and men are Feeling types. These women don’t follow the feminine stereotype of soft, malleable creatures. The men who show feelings too readily aren’t considered macho enough.

The Solution

For the Feeling and Thinker to be compatible, they should understand the advantages of their different points of view and profit by them, not criticize each other.

Traits of Thinkers vs. Feelers

Thinkers Feelers

Firm Flexible

Clear Subtle

Critical Tolerant

Detached Involved

Just Compassionate

Legal-minded Fair-hearted

Objective Subjective

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets INFP

June 8, 2018/1 Comment/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types /by beaconadmin

INFP and INFJ types are a alike in many ways. Both types are introverted (I), intuitive (N), and feeling (F). They have rich inner lives and treasure their solitude. Their intuition is highly developed, giving them the ability to see what’s going on under the surface. They understand why people do the things they do. Because they see through facades and games, deceivers and players can seldom fool them for long. INFPs and INFJs examine every piece of evidence for its fundamental truth and then seek the wider context into which it fits.

As idealists, both types drive themselves to achieve their goals, which are frequently humanitarian. If they don’t have the luxury of choosing careers that meet their needs, they spend much of their spare time helping others. Their values are strong and their principles firm—unless they find a valid reason to change them. Their biggest question is, “What’s my purpose?” This quest helps them form a close bond together.

INFPs and INFJs set such high standards for themselves that they’re often disappointed in the results of their work. Because they don’t give themselves enough credit, they need each other’s support. One encourages the other.

They protect their privacy. When they’re not allowed enough time alone, they feel drained. They need solitude to recharge their batteries and get their energy back. As friends and partners, they understand this and are usually generous about giving each other space.

Both are somewhat prone to depression. Their introversion inclines them to be loners, giving them the tendency to brood over problems without checking the facts with others. Their feeling preference inclines them to exaggerate the importance of conflicts or hurt feelings.

Both types are generally well liked due to their warmth and sincerity. They make good listeners, put others at ease, and are valued as friends and confidantes.

Friendship

The intuitive skills shared by the INFP and INFJ form their strongest bond. They usually agree on important matters. Due to differences in their perceiving and judging functions, however, they don’t always carry out practical tasks in the same way. The INFP may start a painting project, then leave it half-finished—intending to finish at a more convenient time. INFJs aren’t happy until the job is complete.

As intuitive individuals, they sift through their experiences to discover their meaning. How does the evidence fit into the big picture? People with a sensing preference, whose intuition is less developed, tend to accept things at surface value. They see no point in overthinking matters. As a result, they may fail to appreciate the insights and predictions of INFPs and INFJs—sometimes at their peril.

INFPs and INFJs frequently have compatible careers requiring verbal skills. They cooperate and communicate effectively with others. Often they hold medical or social service jobs. Their sharp intuition helps them solve problems, their feeling function encourages people to trust them, and their introversion gives them time to contemplate the complex factors in situations. They prefer careers that don’t emphasize details but focus on patterns. These similarities give them a lot in common as friends.

While both types get along with others, group projects frustrate them. They get annoyed by people who don’t live up to their standards or fail to see the big picture. They generally remain polite, but inside they may be seething. When an INFP and INFJ collaborate on projects, they may have conflicts over deadlines as the former dawdles while the latter pushes to finish on time.

Taking on too much to please others is a problem they have in common. Also, they may give others the impression that they agree on the details of a project when in fact they do not. This is true of them as friends as well as participants in the larger community. They need to assert themselves more and learn to be honest, giving negative feedback when it’s important.

Romance

When INFPs fall in love with INFJs, the natural reserve of the former makes it hard for them to express their affection in words. It’s a little easier for the INFJ, who can also be shy but is better at taking action. Both can be eloquent in their physical expressions of love. As lovers, they are tender and creative. This helps keep the relationship anchored.

The two types are sensitive and easily hurt. One or the other can easily misinterpret a casual statement, offhand action, or forgotten promise and feel rejected. When one says, “I’ll be late tonight” as he or she leaves the house and means nothing more than that, the other may give the statement a sinister interpretation. To avoid bruised egos, they need to remember the importance of frequent reality checks.

Both tend to overdramatize situations and ignore the simple facts. When a disagreement comes up, they can get out of touch with each other. They have to release their ego investment and back-pedal in order to find common ground.

They tend to be absent-minded, too, which can be annoying for everyone. Where are the house keys? Did anyone let the cat in this morning? What time were we supposed to be there? Both are likely to shrug and say they don’t know.

Fortunately, they’re tolerant of each other because they share the inability to recall the concrete details of life. Such mundane matters don’t hold their attention.

Home Life

As parents, both types listen attentively to each other and their children, although INFJs are slightly less patient because of their judging function. They’re more likely to interrupt a conversation to see where it’s going. The INFP is content to listen without closure. INFPs wait to think about what’s been said before deciding what to do.

They avoid conflicts. Under normal conditions, they’re courteous and respectful, seldom raising their voices. When a problem comes up, they talk it over. The difference is that INFJs have a stronger need to decide who’s right and who’s wrong, while the INFP’s main goal is to preserve good will in the family. Both get rattled by conflict, but the INFJ is more likely to stand his or her ground on critical issues.

When it’s time for a vacation, INFJ parents are generally the chief planners. Their inclination to arrange details before checking them out with the family can cause problems, but after they’ve set off, the parents have no problem giving everyone time alone. After all, they want that, too. When the family re-gathers, they relax and have fun.

Nurturing their children comes naturally to INFPs and INFJs. They are patient, devoted, and protective parents. However, when friction arises over, say, a child’s behavior, they tend to keep their objections to themselves longer than they should. Eventually the INFJ in particular is likely to blow up.

Secrets of Success

INFPs and INFJs whose four Myers-Briggs functions are healthy and well developed can accomplish great things, although they are generally humble about them. Respect for personal boundaries is an important key to success for the INFJ/INFP couple. Each has strong needs for privacy along with their need for mutual support.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets ENFP

June 4, 2018/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Myers-Briggs personality traits have a lot to do with the potential for romance, friendship, and working relationships. They’re important in family life, too. Romance has a better chance of lasting between lovers of similar Myers-Briggs types. Siblings of the same personality type are likely to get along better than those of very different types.

People of the Myers-Briggs INFJ personality type share some characteristics with the ENFP type, but not others. They differ in their sociability (I = introvert, E = extravert), but share their preferences for both intuition (I) and feeling (F)—the main reason for their attraction to each other. Both types have an uncanny ability to size people up as the result of their intuitive gifts. The difference is that the INFJ is less likely to share discoveries and insights unless prompted. Because of their shared feeling preference, both are kind, compassionate. Their differences in Perceiving (P) and Judging (J) explain why they go about tasks differently—the perceiving type being more easy-going and less driven than the punctual, conscientious judging type.

Life is fun with ENFPs, who never tire of developing new interests. They’re at their best in situations that are fluid and changing. Even in their day-to-day activities they look for new ways of doing things. The same is true of INFJs except that they are drawn to activities that involve fewer social contacts and less communication with others. INFJs are more private.

Friendship

INFJs and ENFPs can spend long hours talking and laughing together because their ways of thinking are similar. Their intuitive and feeling traits are the glue that holds the friendship together. However, they are often at odds about their differences in sociability. The INFJ may grow weary of the amount of time the ENFP spends in the company of others. He or she regrets that the ENFP doesn’t take more pleasure in their time alone as friends.

In healthy friendships, compromise is the key. If the ENFP accepts many party invitations, the INFJ can consent to attend some but bow out of others. Each friend needs to understand the character of the other, honor his or her preferences, and adapt some of the time.

Another difference between them concerns punctuality. The INFJ is rarely tardy and gets things done when promised. ENFPs have a tendency to be late. They lose track of time, because they underestimate how long it will take to finish what they’re doing. They miss deadlines or are slow in meeting their commitments. This happy-go-lucky attitude often annoys INFJs, who think it irresponsible. ENFPs, on the other hand, may consider INFJs clock-watchers.

Romance

ENFPs have such appealing personalities that they’re never short of admirers. When a relationship takes hold with an INFJ, the bond is likely to be intense at first, as the ENFP showers attention on the other person. The INFJ feels honored and unconditionally loved. However, many of these relationships wear out over time, and the ENFP begins looking for another conquest.

Being in love is an almost constant state for ENFPs. When the love bug gets them, they study all aspects of the new partner. ENFPs tend to idealize their current relationships, thinking that the latest one is the best of all.

Whether male or female, ENFPs can be seductive. They know how to appeal to attractive prospects and make themselves desirable. Sometimes they go too far in their quest for affection, making the INFJ feel pressured and deprived of private time. If this makes the INFJ uneasy, the ENFP is likely to get anxious and needy. A discussion about the importance of boundaries may help ease the ENFP’s jittery response to a partner’s hesitance.

Being abandoned by an ENFP partner is hard on the sensitive INFJ, who thinks, “I’ll never find a person this wonderful again.” In contrast, a rejected ENFJ usually smarts at first, but then recovers by exaggerating the partner’s shortcomings and concentrating on new prospects. When ENFPs are left by a lover, they rebound quickly.

Home Life

INFJs who marry ENFPs find that they’re enjoyable to live with. They also make good parents. They know how to turn family chores into enjoyable activities. If there’s a task that’s boring, they find a way to make it interesting. They infuse family life with creativity and avoid letting their home get too structured, with no room for imagination. When the freewheeling goes too far, however, the INFJ may complain that things are getting out of control.

ENFPs may consider themselves organized in their home life, but INFJ partners often take a different view. The ENFPs’ desire to be open to new possibilities is usually stronger than their need to keep things neat and tidy. When they fix meals, the kitchen is likely to be a mess. Their offices or dens are cluttered. There’s always something more interesting to do than clean up.

Because of their wide-ranging interests, ENFPs tend to change jobs often—even career tracks—with the result that their finances are shaky. Partly this is due to their success at landing jobs for which they’re not fully qualified. If the family needs a steady income, the tendency of ENFPs to quit jobs or get fired may frustrate INFJs.

Secrets of Success

INFJs and ENFPs share the gifts of compassion and desire to help others. They’re champions of good causes—whether their efforts are directed at people, animals, or the environment. By cooperating in their efforts to help others, they strengthen their own personal bond. They make good partners, and together they are an admirable team.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets INFJ

May 10, 2018/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

When two INFJs find each other, they’re lucky. After all, only one percent of the population is the INFJ type. INFJs are kind, generous, and helpful to others. When friends or even strangers are in trouble, INFJs hurry to the rescue. They’re ready to offer creative solutions or hands-on support.

As friends or partners, each can depend on the other to behave with integrity—whatever the setting. Their actions match their ideals. While they don’t make a fuss about their standard of ethics, it’s apparent in everything they do.

Despite their admiration for each other, they are shy about giving and receiving praise due to their introverted personalities. They try to avoid the spotlight, even with one other person. Small talk is not their forte. They’d rather be quiet than engage in trivial conversation. In general, INFJs are at their best concentrating on their ideas and inspirations—not engaging in social banter.

Friendship

INFJs usually forge lasting friendships when they’re lucky enough to find each other. As friends, they work together harmoniously and are persistent about meeting their shared goals. If they meet resistance from outside sources, they only get more determined. Their friends and acquaintances respect their quiet strength and ability to support each other. Even at play, they’re a delight to be with because they’re so friendly, honest, and good-natured.

Because of their shared introversion, they’d rather be alone together than out socializing. When they’re enjoying themselves they may hesitate to invite others into the inner circle. They would do well to make friends with a few extraverts who can encourage them to share their fun or work. Spending time solely as a couple can cause the partners to stagnate without their realizing it.

INFJs are a pleasure to collaborate with when they don’t get too driven. They are clear-thinking, intelligent, and witty. Together, INFJ friends are keen observers of the human scene. By the time they share their insights with each other, they’ve usually covered all the bases. You can’t put much over on a pair of INFJs.

Romance

When two INFJs become romantically attached, they may at first feel shy about showing their affection. They aren’t big risk-takers in the business of romance. They make subtle gestures to encourage the object of their affection. They’re cautious about expressing their feelings for fear of rejection.

If INFJs seem aloof, it’s because they do such a good job of hiding their feelings. It isn’t easy for them to make their emotional needs known. When two INFJs recognize these qualities in each other, they generally have the patience to fish for clues. Eventually they reveal themselves.

Once two INFJs become close, they’re delighted with the treasure they’ve found. Both have rich imaginations and quick minds. They inspire each other to grow and develop without being controlling.

If, for some reason, the INFJ/INFJ match isn’t working well, the dissatisfied partner may try to postpone a separation because the intimacy is so important. In cases where one is married and the other isn’t, trouble may result. Since INFJs are loyal and ethical, they’re unlikely to leave a marriage partner. When they do, they suffer guilt and remorse. This isn’t good for any relationship. When two INFJs break up, both suffer. Neither forgets the other. Some longing for the relationship will always remain.

Home Life

INFJ partners are idealists as partners and parents. They strive for harmony, sometimes avoiding family conflicts that should be resolved by direct means. When disagreements arise, INFJ partners do well to find privacy and quiet time to discuss them. Because they’re complex people with subtle feelings, conflicts need to be sorted out carefully. Bold confrontations tend to backfire and cause resentments.

As parents, INFJs encourage their children to develop a number of skills and get a good education. They will sacrifice considerable time and money to this end.

If the children appear rebellious, uncooperative, or difficult for any reason, INFJs try hard to discover the source of the problem. As long as the children put forth genuine effort and appear to be making good use of their intelligence and skills, the parents are mostly happy.

The INFJs’ home has an abundance of books, sports equipment, musical instruments, and other paraphernalia scattered around as evidence of the couple’s many interests and hobbies. The more they can share these as a family, the happier they are. At the same time, each needs personal space where he or she can work and think in private.

The homes of INFJ couples are sometimes neat and organized, sometimes cluttered. It depends on how caught up they are in current hobbies and interests. Keeping an orderly environment feels good, but it’s not top priority. Their surroundings may be cluttered but their minds are extremely organized.

Secrets of Success

INFJs have a strong attraction for each other. To keep their relationship healthy, they need to preserve their needs for personal privacy. They should give each other the space needed for individual pursuits. At the same time, they should take time for social activities that get them out of the house and around other people.