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Introverts at Risk

Each of the sixteen Myers-Briggs types is unique and different. Some types are outgoing and gregarious, while others treasure their privacy. Some are serious and others are fun-loving. Some are warm and giving and others are cool-headed and objective. A few of the types have similar descriptions. That’s because they have several traits in common. For example, the INFP is much like the INFJ because each is introverted (I), intuitive (N), and Feeling (F). They differ only in the Perceiving vs. Judging traits.

When under stress, each type has the tendency to overuse its strengths to the point where they sabotage their ability to cope. An example is the Introverted type. The person tends to withdraw when stressed out, avoiding the company of others. When this trait is carried to the extreme, the person becomes isolated and no longer enjoys feedback and support.

The Eight Introverted Types

ISTJ

For ISTJs, one way of losing out is to immerse themselves in too much detail. They may become so fixated on rules and minute details that they forget the overall meaning of an activity. A mother supervising a child’s birthday party may be so obsessed with a game and its rules that she forgets the purpose of the game—to have fun. In this way, she only communicates her stress to the children and no one has a good time. By focusing on the details of the game, she forgets the larger issue: fun.

In their effort to get the job done, ISTJs may overlook such niceties as “please” and “thank you.” By neglecting to make direct personal comments, they fail to show their appreciation to others.

Under stress, ISTJs may ignore the long-term implications of a project in favor of day-to-day realities. Because of their tendency to focus on short-term goals, they may lose sight of the overall purpose of their work. They rely too much on the standard way of doing things and neglect innovation, which is sometimes critical in this changing world. They also see errors more readily than successes, resulting in a doom-and-gloom attitude toward work.

ISTJs sometimes have difficulty recognizing their own emotions and values. As a result, they may be seen as insensitive and cold. As the stress from work situations heightens, so does the likelihood that ISTJs will explode, doing no one much good.

ISTP

Like all Myers-Briggs types, ISTPs under stress act in ways that depart from their usual style.

One of their problems is finding shortcuts when a project seems too long and difficult. By taking the easy way out, they can jeopardize successful completion, which makes them appear indifferent and unmotivated. When working on parts of a project that they enjoy, their work is usually competent and satisfactory. It’s the parts that frustrate or bore them that get them in trouble. If a homeowner is cultivating both a vegetable and flower garden behind the house, weeding the vegetable patmay be a much less gratifying job than tending the flowers. Later in the summer the family complains that they have fewer fresh vegetables than they expected, although the flower garden is lovely.

ISTPs may lose out when they keep important information to themselves, failing to inform others. When they do share they may focus on the faults and problems of the issue in question. As a result, others find themselves operating on incomplete information.

Because ISTPs are oriented to collecting new facts, they can get overwhelmed by all the information they have dug up. As a result, they may put off decision-making in order to keep their options open. This may give them the appearance of being indecisive and incompetent.

Finally, ISTPs may find themselves in trouble when they fail to complete old projects and instead move on to new ones. They sometimes have difficulty with perseverance and the ability to stay with undertakings until they have finished them. A boy who makes model airplanes loves having the final products but leaves many of the planes unfinished because the work gets too complex. His parents are disappointed that they’ve paid for so many kits and their son has so few completed airplanes to show.

ISFJ

One way ISFJs can lose out is by paying too much attention to the present status of problems and failing to seek options for a satisfactory solution. They can see the present clearly but not the possibilities for the future. Thus, they may get stuck in ruts and unable to find a way out. They focus on past negative experiences and apply them to the present problem. If, for example, the car is making a strange noise, they may remember a time when they threw a rod on an old automobile and assume that the same disastrous breakdown is about the occur, when actually a broken fan belt may be the only problem.

ISFJs attend to plan excessively. They want things to go a certain way and become discouraged if they turn out to be wrong. If things proceed satisfactorily, they may waste time looking for another potential problem. For example, they may get to an outdoor concert an hour in advance to find a good seat, and then, while they are waiting, worry about the chances of rain.

ISFJs may feel undervalued by others as a result of their quiet, self-effacing style. This may cause them to lose confidence when presenting their ideas in a group. They tend to minimize their own importance and contributions to an organization, so that everyone takes them for granted. They view their contributions as simply “doing their duty.” An employee presenting the progress of his project before a committee may minimizing her own contribution so no one realizes that she was instrumental in its success.

ISFP

In times of stress, ISFPs may overlook their own needs. Because they see others’ needs so clearly and they’re motivated to serve them, they may ignore their own requirements.

When a loved one is in the hospital with a serious condition, the ISFP is likely to put all his or her concerns aside in favor of staying with the loved one, keeping the spirits up of the rest of the family, and so on. If the hospitalization lasts long enough, the ISFP may get worn down and lose his or her positive attitude—becoming snappish and unhelpful.

Conflict is disagreeable to ISFPs and they try to avoid it at all costs. If they do engage in a confrontation, they may later feel like the disagreement was their fault. Even if the issues legitimately belong to the other party, they may feel hurt and withdraw rather than confront the person and “clear the air.”

ISFPs tend to accept the statements and opinions of others as valid. They are often gullible. Strong, manipulative, persuasive people may find them easy prey. Rather than buy into the views of others without question, ISFPs need to develop a more skeptical attitude and ways to analyze the words and actions of others more realistically.

Failing to appreciate their own contributions and accomplishments is another way ISFPs can lose out under stress. Because they are gentle types who focus internally, they suffer from self-criticism—which may not be apparent to the outside world. Without outside support from trusted friends and coworkers, their thoughts become negative and destructive. They need to appreciate their contributions more, although this may be difficult given their habitual modesty.

Under stress, INFJs can lose contact with some of the unpleasant realities of life. They focus mainly on their idealist vision of how things should be, ignoring reality when it contradicts their views. Because of their single-minded, persistent view of how things should be, they don’t know when to cut their losses and move on. They may need help from supportive friends and coworkers in learning how to relax and let go of futile dreams.

Another way INFJs lose out is when they fail to act assertively and don’t share important ideas and insights with others. Because of their reluctance to intrude, many of their ideas are overlooked or underestimated. People who might have been able to support them have their hands tied because they were never included in the INFJ’s thinking process.

Another way INFJs can lose out is by focusing on facts that aren’t relevant to the situation at hand. They need to focus on which details are important and which aren’t. A female INFJ getting the house ready for a big party might find herself obsessing over everything. If, for example, she can’t find her embroidered guest towels she may enter a state of “melt down” until someone points out to her that no one ever uses them anyhow. The stress of her big party has made her temporarily unreasonable, prey to her drive for perfection.

INFJs hold their criticisms inside longer than they should because of their belief in the old saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” When the pressure mounts and their objections are stifled long enough, they can blow up. Trusted colleagues can help them focus on the overall concept in question and retreat from an attitude of blaming to one of acceptance and understanding.

INFP

One way that INFPs can lose out when under stress is by focusing on their dreams so intently that they’re blind to others’ points of view. They fail to adjust their unrealistic vision to the facts of reality. If they’re extremely out of touch, people might view them as almost mystical. An INFP who believe he has the solution to world problems can be brought back to Earth by questions regarding individual actions that can contribute to the goal.

Another problem for the INFP under stress is that they try to please too many people at once. They never refuse any one, with the result that they’re often overtaxed, sometimes to the point of being resentful. They also dislike conflict and will go to some lengths to avoid it. It’s not uncommon for them to give people the impression that they agree about an issue, when actually they are dead set against it. They need to get more tough-minded and assertive, learning how to give negative feedback tactfully but firmly.

INFPs may delay finishing projects because they’re holding out for a perfection that simply isn’t possible. They postpone action by focusing inward instead of reaching for resources outside themselves. Outside support can encourage them but also give realistic feedback concerning a project. Nothing has to be perfect. Something to start with is better than nothing at all. An employee preparing a brochure for his company may try to do the proofreading, graphics and layout to perfection when there are other professionals available to do these jobs. As a result, the project may be late, much to the annoyance of his supervisors.

Finally, INFPs, although generally modest and gentle, can become overly critical about everything that bothers them. Everyone around them seems irresponsible and incompetent, as the result of the INFPs internal feelings of stress. They lose the ability to see the situation logically, step back, and let their natural appreciation come forward. A man throwing a party for his business associates may find himself criticizing what his wife is wearing, how the table is set, the noise the children are making, and other bothersome details when the real culprit is his own anxiety.

INTJ

Some INTJs have trouble letting go of their expectations when they aren’t based on facts or current reality. They imagine they have the ability to predict the future—when they don’t. Their impractical ideas and goals may be so impractical that the INTJs seem to be living in a dream. Sometimes they’re so private about their vision that they fail to communicate with other people who will be affected by it or are necessary to make it happen. They need to learn when to give up on unrealistic dreams and solicit the input of others to help get them back on track.

An employee planning a going-away party for a co-worker may try doing everything herself—the announcements, music, refreshments, etc.—instead of enlisting the help of others in the company who have the expertise she needs. As a result, the party may come off as a half-finished affair.

Some INTJs have a certain model or way of living that they approve of and then criticize those who don’t fit the model. For example, people who are Democrats may be so fixated on their line of thinking that they can hardly make themselves speak to a Republican. They find it difficult to tolerate choices that don’t conform to their own. They need to filter out the single characteristic that offends them and focus on the person’s general merit, of which they may actually approve.

INTJs can also lose out by focusing on unimportant details. Their need to control all possible outcomes prevents them from attending to what’s really necessary. If they have bought their son a new suit to wear for special family events, they may not be satisfied until the pants are lengthened (or shortened) one quarter of an inch and they’ve found the perfect tie to go with the suit. The son could care less about a suit he doesn’t want to wear anyhow, so his parents’ perfectionism is wasted. They could have spared themselves the nagging over the issue of the dress suit.

INTJs may ignore the impact of their style on others. With their impersonal, independent approach to life, they think that others function best in the same kind of environment. Others may see them as detached, inflexible and logical—so much so that they’re afraid to approach the INTJ. When they find out that their style is alienating others, many are surprised. They need to learn to foster their relationships and make sure they show appreciation others.

INTPs

Because of their tendency to focus on the shortcomings of others, INTPs may be perceived as negative and arrogant. They may appear to be aloof and fault-finding and are surprised when they’re not liked by others.

The man whose spouse has just come home with a new dress and is asked his opinion may say something like, “It’s all right but I think the hemline is a little high.” He may have made this remark with the best of intentions, wanting only to be helpful, but his partner thinks he finds nothing attractive about the dress (because he didn’t say so) or he objects to her showing so much leg. She takes his comment personally and feels criticized and unappreciated.

Another way the INTP can lose out if by focusing on the small inconsistencies in a project or plan. They may even prevent the project from moving forward because they stall progressing one small step. They need to learn when to let go of trivial details that are of little consequence. To others, this tendency may lead them to believe that the INTP suffers from convoluted opinions outside the understanding of ordinary people. A woman preparing wedding invitations for her daughter may become so focused on the font used in the announcement none of the printer’s efforts please her. As a result, the project is late and the guests have very short notice.

INTPs can be their own worst critics as they hamstring themselves looking for the exact way to present their ideas perfectly. They can’t listen to praise because they know they could have done so much better. Focusing on their own flaws without outside support can even end up making them depressed. They need to discuss their feelings with other people who can provide more realistic, candid opinion.

Because INTPs are usually so conservative and quiet, their emotions—the least accessible part of themselves—can stay bottled up until the pressure is too great. Then they may explode in an unmanageable outburst and appear hypersensitive. Bystanders can be so overwhelmed by this unexpected display of feelings that they come to regard the INTP as unstable.

INTPs are especially susceptible when they can’t identify an objective cause for their emotions, which shouldn’t be disregarded simply because they seem illogical. Exploration of the emotions with a trusted supporter can pave the way to potential areas for growth.

When these introverts get back on track, they can be enjoyable to work and live with and tireless in following through on their commitments. By keeping their Myers-Briggs traits in a healthy balance, they can make the best of their work, leisure, and relationships.

Career Distribution by Myers-Briggs Type

A 14-year study of thousands of Americans in various careers shows that different Myers-Biggs types have different preferences and skills relating to the jobs they take. When the data were analyzed at the end of the 14 years, researchers found that people of various Myers-Briggs categories most often held the following jobs listed below.

Career Distribution by Myers-Briggs Type

ISTJ: Administrators in schools, industry, and health care, dentists, police and detectives, auditors and
accountants
ISFJ: Nurses, clerical supervisors, preschool teachers, librarians, health technicians
INFJ: Education consultants, clergy, physicians, media specialists, teachers (English, art, drama)
INTJ: Lawyers, scientists, computer systems analysts, chemical engineers, university teachers
ISTP: Farmers, mechanics and repairers, electrical technicians, engineers, dental hygienists
ISFP: Storekeepers and stock clerks, nurses, dental assistants, bookkeepers, mechanics and repairers
INFP: Psychiatrists and psychologists, writers, artists, and editors, teachers, social workers, musicians and composers
INTP: Writers, artists and entertainers, computer programmers, social scientists
ESTP: Marketing personnel, police and detectives, managers and administrators, retail salespeople, auditors
ESFP: child care workers, receptionists, salespeople, religious workers, teachers (preschool)
ENFP: Rehabilitation counselors, teachers (art and drama), writers, artists, entertainers, psychologists, clergy
ENTP: Photographers, marketing personnel, salespeople, journalists, computer systems analysts
ESTJ: Teachers, school administrators, surgeons, factory and site supervisors, lawyers
ESFJ: Medical secretaries, clergy, nurses, home economists, hairdressers and cosmetologists
ENFJ: Clergy, teachers, actors and entertainers, writers and artists, consultants
ENTJ: Lawyers, managers, mortgage brokers, administrators (computer systems and education), scientists

The study data do not indicate which careers are best for certain types. The information simply reflects what jobs people were holding at the time the study was in progress. It serves mainly to provide helpful information about the demands of each career. When evaluating potential careers, it’s best to consider how your preferences relate to the demands of certain professions. Every career uses some of each of the eight preferences.

Public contact vs working alone: Introversion/Extraversion
Jobs that involve mainly working with others are better for Extraverts, especially if they involve selling, persuading, and motivating. While Introverts are often capable of doing these things, too, they may find themselves drained by the constant interaction with others.

Hands-on activity vs. abstract speculation: Sensing/Intuition
A hands-on profession appealing to Sensing types is one where “doing” and “bottom line” are the main goals, as in accounting, trial law, and civil engineering. Jobs with short-term, measurable objectives are more attractive to them. In contrast, jobs that require foresight and planning are better suited to Intuitives. Examples are architectural engineering, teaching law (professors), and financial planning.

Objective vs. people-oriented decisions: (Thinking/Feeling)
Thinking jobs are attractive to those concerned mainly with logic and objectivity. They don’t want to be embroiled in personal relationships or human welfare decisions. Careers in the Thinking category include stockbrokers, high-tech research, and military positions. Feelers are attracted to careers involving interpersonal dynamics, such as the clergy, counselors, teachers, and nurses, among others.

Structured demands vs. flexible innovation: (Judging/Perceiving)
Judging types do best in careers that require scheduling and established procedures—everything from bus driving to orthopedic surgery. Jobs that are more open-ended, requiring flexibility and ability to adjust, include journalism, strategic planning and entrepreneurial endeavors.

It’s a Personal Decision

When you consider your own type, such as ISFP, the key is not to choose a career that theoretically belongs on a list, but rather to consider the various facets of your type and how they relate to the job possibilities. A bus driver who travels a short downtown route every day is different from a bus driver transporting senior citizens through the city and acting as their tour guide.

The goal is to find a career that fits your preferences rather than force yourself into a job that theoretically suits your type. The better the personal fit, the less job stress and the more satisfaction you’ll experience in the long run. If you have an opportunity to practice law you might find that the job in question involves representing low-income clients, about whom you feel personal concern. if you’re an INFP you may be tempted to rule out the possibility because the career is not on the master list. Yet the job may be a perfect fit for your type, with its tendency toward compassion and flexibility.

Introverts in Retirement

October 29, 2018/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Senior Couple Sitting On Outdoor Seat Together Laughing

As people grow older, their Myers-Briggs personality scores can change, but not much. Those whose scores were extreme on one or more traits tend to soften and move toward the middle. The ISTJ who had a strong thinking (T) score is likely to move a little toward Feeling, with stronger emotional elements in their personality than previously. This blog describes the eight Introverted (I) types in their retirement years. Every combination of traits is represented, making eight in all—Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J).

ISTJs in Retirement

Because ISTJs have been responsible, loyal employees all their lives, they’re likely to be enjoy corresponding financial rewards. Thus, most of them enter retirement with investments in place and can look forward to having enough money through the years ahead. Their habits of taking responsibility never end, either in the home or in the community. The main thing is, they get the chance to enjoy hobbies, relationships, and time with friends and family that formerly were unrealistic because of all their work commitments.

ISTPs in Retirement

For ISTPs, retirement is a time they’ve long looked forward to. In their working lives, there was never opportunity to pursue all their hobbies and other pursuits. A few postpone retirement if they get a great deal of satisfaction from their paid employment. Many have volunteer “careers,” which support their strong work ethic. Whatever ISTPs take up to pass the time, their absorption is so complete that they often forget to attend to mundane matters such as eating meals or meeting commitments they’ve made to friends and family.

ISFJs in Retirement

ISFJs have usually done retirement planning in advance. Since they’ve made a habit of saving money most of their adult lives, it’s likely that they have enough to carry them through the years ahead without paychecks. During the years of retirement, ISFJs mostly focus on their children and families, taking part in their lives and helping out wherever they can. They enjoy customs and projects that emphasize the family heritage. Service work continues to be an important theme for them.

ISFPs in Retirement

ISFPs continue to enjoy their friends and families. In their last years of employment, they look forward to retirement and spending more time with the people close to them. In retirement, ISFPs often find that they are loved and valued by the people who know them well. It’s a welcome time for them to enjoy the fruits of many well-tended relationships. They take pleasure in the simple activities of life—gardening, walking, reading, and so on. When grandchildren are being difficult they deal with them in a smooth, friendly, and encouraging way.

INFJs in Retirement

Because of their idealism and commitment to whatever career they’ve chosen, INFJs are likely to enjoy important positions of responsibilities by the time they retire. Financially, they may find their incomes and reserves in good shape without any previous careful strategic planning. They look forward to nurturing family relationships in the years ahead and seeing the foundations they have built for themselves to flourish. They treasure the increased leisure time to reflect and pursue their hobbies without interruption. They can also become further involved in interests they’ve developed but haven’t had much time for, such as writing.

INFPs in Retirement

INFPs in retirement need to look back and feel that their years of employment were worthwhile and had value for the people around them. It’s a time of life when they look forward to a variety of activities, such as travel. They may also strengthen their bond with family members and enjoy the opportunity to spend more leisure hours with them. Some grandparents enjoy special projects designed just for their grandchildren, such as writing stories about them, building a sandbox, and so on.

INTJs in Retirement

The life of the mind is always important to INTJs, during their years of employment and beyond. Some are so involved in their work that they don’t leave their jobs at age 65. If circumstances permit, they stay on, doing the same activities that engrossed them over the years. They have no time for frivolous pastimes or frivolous people. Scientists and others often continue to attend meetings relevant to their work and stay in touch with colleagues. INTJs with clear focus but few opportunities to socialize on the job may get lonely during retirement if they haven’t nurtured relationships with people who stimulate them.

INTPs in Retirement

As INTPs mature, they continue their quest for logical purity. Their hobbies reflect their intensity and purposefulness. Each hobby is thoroughly explored and its nuances worked out before the INTP moves on to the next activity. They are strongly cerebral, so whatever they do is matched by deep concentration and much thought. While their external world may have changed, their minds remain the same. Just because they no longer go to work doesn’t mean that their minds aren’t busy. Some onlookers may find that the INTP changes very little upon moving into retirement. They often continue activities that were previously important to them.

lntroverted Kids—Myers Briggs Types

October 18, 2018/1 Comment/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

According to the Myers Briggs system of classifying personalities, introverted children come in eight types. The only trait that runs as a constant thread through all types is Introversion (I). The others are Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J).

ISTJ—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

ISTJ children are reserved and responsible. They’re sincere and systematic in whatever they undertake. They function well in stable structures, where they know what’s expected of them. They are happiest in a comfortable school setting and an orderly family. They are cautious in unfamiliar social settings where they meet new people. They’d rather spend time with friends, whom they’ve selected carefully. “Slow and steady” and “Work before play” are their mottoes

ISTP—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

ISTPs are flexible and action-oriented children. They are great observers and enjoy figuring out how things work. Their curiosity drives them to gather details of particular subjects in which they’re involved, such as bugs, bicycles, dolls, etc. A girl who gets a drone as a gift may well develop a longstanding interest in airplanes and other devices that fly. They enjoy sharing detailed information about their hobbies, especially with other hobbyists. They take note of the differences between what people say and what they actually do.

ISFJ—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Judging (J)

ISFJ children are hardworking, loyal, conscientious, and service-oriented. Rarely are they a problem for their teachers and parents. ISFJs shy away from conflict and try to keep the peace at all costs. Because they like to please grownups, they’re often seen as perfect children. Routine and security are important to them. They want to know who will be at home when they arrive from school, whom they’ll play with, and so on. Frequently they are worriers. Because they are so introverted, it may not occur to them to share their problems with others. They have a few close friends, whom they may keep for years.

ISFP—Introverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Perceiving (P)

ISFP children are quiet, pleasant and kind. They tend to have a number of friends because they are easy to like. They notice the feelings of others. When there is disharmony among their friends, and they try to restore peace. They notice what pleases others and often make gifts for people they like especially. They are very often aware of the sensations in their bodies and for this reason may enjoy pastimes such as dancing and ice-skating. They’re oriented toward deeply felt personal values and thus may find themselves outside certain popular social groups.

INFJ—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), Judging (J)

INFJ have two sides. On the one hand, they have a strong need for privacy, often spending long hours reading. Onthe other, they enjoy creative play with their friends—building snow forts, playing store, and so on. Solitude gives them a chance to think about the things most important to them. They have strong values, abhorring violence, and cruelty. They are quietly firm about their convictions, stepping to the fore only when no one else will. Gifted with words, they write well and when they do speak out, they’re eloquent. They have no fear.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

INTP children create fantasy worlds that they dream about. They’re immersed in their thoughts and books. Their parents sometimes worry whether they’re in touch with reality.F

This type of child often turns out to be adept at verbal communication, especially in writing. In new situations, they are reserved often to the point of being reluctant to give their names. They prefer relying on their own intuition and judgment rather than taking advice from others. Early on, they decide what’s important to them.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), Perceiving (P)

INFPs often amuse themselves with their private thoughts and fantasies rather get involved in the company of others. After moving to a new neighborhood, many will stay indoors and read rather than go out and make friends. When they do venture out, their circle is small. It’s where they feel most comfortable. Once they relax, they can make creative, amusing companions. While they make a welcome addition to a group, their own perception is often that they are “the odd man out.”

INFPs depend on themselves for answers to important questions. If they make mistakes, they are reluctant to admit them. They have firm value systems, which they refuse to bend. If the others choose to, that’s fine. Because of their outward gentleness, they will not make a big deal out of it.

INTJ—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

The independent nature of INTJs appears early in life. As children, they enjoy thinking about the way the world ought to be. They can be resistant to what authorities tell them when it contradicts what they believe. They like to establish their own rules and guidelines. The life of the mind is critical to their sense of who they are. They get involved in social activities only if they serve a particular purpose for them. The search for meaning and knowledge is what’s most important.

INTP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

As children, INTPs are inwardly focused, often enjoying their own company more than shared activities. They enjoy fantasies, mysteries and creative stories. Their style of entertaining themselves may be much different from that of most children.

They think about life and the natural world in a questioning, exploratory way (“Why is the moon broken?” one boy asked his grandmother.) Often gentle and soft-spoken in appearance and manner, INTPs can be hard and aggressive when defending a truth. They are at their best developing complicated ideas.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets INFP

June 8, 2018/1 Comment/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types /by beaconadmin

INFP and INFJ types are a alike in many ways. Both types are introverted (I), intuitive (N), and feeling (F). They have rich inner lives and treasure their solitude. Their intuition is highly developed, giving them the ability to see what’s going on under the surface. They understand why people do the things they do. Because they see through facades and games, deceivers and players can seldom fool them for long. INFPs and INFJs examine every piece of evidence for its fundamental truth and then seek the wider context into which it fits.

As idealists, both types drive themselves to achieve their goals, which are frequently humanitarian. If they don’t have the luxury of choosing careers that meet their needs, they spend much of their spare time helping others. Their values are strong and their principles firm—unless they find a valid reason to change them. Their biggest question is, “What’s my purpose?” This quest helps them form a close bond together.

INFPs and INFJs set such high standards for themselves that they’re often disappointed in the results of their work. Because they don’t give themselves enough credit, they need each other’s support. One encourages the other.

They protect their privacy. When they’re not allowed enough time alone, they feel drained. They need solitude to recharge their batteries and get their energy back. As friends and partners, they understand this and are usually generous about giving each other space.

Both are somewhat prone to depression. Their introversion inclines them to be loners, giving them the tendency to brood over problems without checking the facts with others. Their feeling preference inclines them to exaggerate the importance of conflicts or hurt feelings.

Both types are generally well liked due to their warmth and sincerity. They make good listeners, put others at ease, and are valued as friends and confidantes.

Friendship

The intuitive skills shared by the INFP and INFJ form their strongest bond. They usually agree on important matters. Due to differences in their perceiving and judging functions, however, they don’t always carry out practical tasks in the same way. The INFP may start a painting project, then leave it half-finished—intending to finish at a more convenient time. INFJs aren’t happy until the job is complete.

As intuitive individuals, they sift through their experiences to discover their meaning. How does the evidence fit into the big picture? People with a sensing preference, whose intuition is less developed, tend to accept things at surface value. They see no point in overthinking matters. As a result, they may fail to appreciate the insights and predictions of INFPs and INFJs—sometimes at their peril.

INFPs and INFJs frequently have compatible careers requiring verbal skills. They cooperate and communicate effectively with others. Often they hold medical or social service jobs. Their sharp intuition helps them solve problems, their feeling function encourages people to trust them, and their introversion gives them time to contemplate the complex factors in situations. They prefer careers that don’t emphasize details but focus on patterns. These similarities give them a lot in common as friends.

While both types get along with others, group projects frustrate them. They get annoyed by people who don’t live up to their standards or fail to see the big picture. They generally remain polite, but inside they may be seething. When an INFP and INFJ collaborate on projects, they may have conflicts over deadlines as the former dawdles while the latter pushes to finish on time.

Taking on too much to please others is a problem they have in common. Also, they may give others the impression that they agree on the details of a project when in fact they do not. This is true of them as friends as well as participants in the larger community. They need to assert themselves more and learn to be honest, giving negative feedback when it’s important.

Romance

When INFPs fall in love with INFJs, the natural reserve of the former makes it hard for them to express their affection in words. It’s a little easier for the INFJ, who can also be shy but is better at taking action. Both can be eloquent in their physical expressions of love. As lovers, they are tender and creative. This helps keep the relationship anchored.

The two types are sensitive and easily hurt. One or the other can easily misinterpret a casual statement, offhand action, or forgotten promise and feel rejected. When one says, “I’ll be late tonight” as he or she leaves the house and means nothing more than that, the other may give the statement a sinister interpretation. To avoid bruised egos, they need to remember the importance of frequent reality checks.

Both tend to overdramatize situations and ignore the simple facts. When a disagreement comes up, they can get out of touch with each other. They have to release their ego investment and back-pedal in order to find common ground.

They tend to be absent-minded, too, which can be annoying for everyone. Where are the house keys? Did anyone let the cat in this morning? What time were we supposed to be there? Both are likely to shrug and say they don’t know.

Fortunately, they’re tolerant of each other because they share the inability to recall the concrete details of life. Such mundane matters don’t hold their attention.

Home Life

As parents, both types listen attentively to each other and their children, although INFJs are slightly less patient because of their judging function. They’re more likely to interrupt a conversation to see where it’s going. The INFP is content to listen without closure. INFPs wait to think about what’s been said before deciding what to do.

They avoid conflicts. Under normal conditions, they’re courteous and respectful, seldom raising their voices. When a problem comes up, they talk it over. The difference is that INFJs have a stronger need to decide who’s right and who’s wrong, while the INFP’s main goal is to preserve good will in the family. Both get rattled by conflict, but the INFJ is more likely to stand his or her ground on critical issues.

When it’s time for a vacation, INFJ parents are generally the chief planners. Their inclination to arrange details before checking them out with the family can cause problems, but after they’ve set off, the parents have no problem giving everyone time alone. After all, they want that, too. When the family re-gathers, they relax and have fun.

Nurturing their children comes naturally to INFPs and INFJs. They are patient, devoted, and protective parents. However, when friction arises over, say, a child’s behavior, they tend to keep their objections to themselves longer than they should. Eventually the INFJ in particular is likely to blow up.

Secrets of Success

INFPs and INFJs whose four Myers-Briggs functions are healthy and well developed can accomplish great things, although they are generally humble about them. Respect for personal boundaries is an important key to success for the INFJ/INFP couple. Each has strong needs for privacy along with their need for mutual support.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets ISTP

June 4, 2018/9 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types /by beaconadmin

If you’re an INFJ, you may find yourself drawn to ISTPs. They’re quietly competent, people of few words who make every utterance worth listening to. They pay attention. They have emotional control. How refreshing!

INFJs and ISTPs have very different personalities. The only trait they have in common is introversion (I). Because both are private people, they prefer thinking about things to talking about them. They’re quiet, but their minds are always busy.

What about the other traits? First, ISTPs, being sensing (S) types, are matter-of-fact and observant of what’s going on around them. Intuitive INFJs, being more creative and less down-to-earth, are often unaware of details. They lose things like cell phones and credit cards frequently.

Second, the ISTP, a thinking type (T), makes decisions based on the facts and logic of a situation, not emotional nuances. If they’re paying to have a job done and the work is shoddy, the INFJ may worry about confronting the worker and hurting his or her feelings. The ISTP is more objective. The job isn’t satisfactory and the worker must be told.

Finally, perceiving (P) ISTPs avoid final decisions and are more comfortable when things are left open-ended. They’re casual about appointments and deadlines. They can undertake two or three projects at a time. INFJs do only one thing at a time, and they’re punctual and deadline-oriented. With their preference for judging (J), they like to see decisions made and situations brought to closure.

Friendship

While INFJs and ISTPs may have philosophical differences, they can complement each other in practical ways as friends. Unlike INFJs, ISTPs generally have good eye-hand coordination and understand how things work. Faced with a car repair, for example, the INFJ can usually rely on an ISTP friend to figure out what’s wrong with the vehicle before making a deal with a mechanic. ISTPs are unlikely to be fooled by mechanics or other fixers of things. They may even be able to repair the car themselves. Because they rely on their sensing preference more than their intuition, they think problems through while working on them. Unlike INFJs, they’re not interested in theories.

When a friendship between these two types runs aground, it’s usually because of conflicts in thinking and feeling. ISTPs make decisions based on facts father than feelings and values. This impersonal approach gives them a tendency to be unaware of the reactions of others to the things they do. They may not even be clear about their own emotions. Although INFJs do examine the facts, they’re more likely to be concerned with the impact of their decisions on others. Because of this difference, the ISTP can offend the INFJs without meaning to.

Romance

When ISTPs are looking for romance they seek partners who give them freedom to follow their own interests or, better yet, share these interests. An ISTP who loves camping may persuade an INFJ of the fun of sleeping in a tent. If the INFJ shows some enthusiasm, the ISTP may acquaint the person details about types of tents, sleeping bags, and cooking equipment. Before long, the two are likely to find themselves planning a trip to the nearest state park for a weekend.

Because both types are shy about expressing their feelings toward each other in words, they look for other ways to show their affection, such as finding gifts that will please the partner. They offer to cook, run errands, and do other practical favors. They prefer to show their feelings through actions rather than words. They don’t often speak words of love to each other, because they believe that the things they do together convey the message. The way they talk about their relationship is likely to be subtle and indirect. The words “I love you” don’t come easily. It’s easier to say, “Let’s eat at this restaurant again soon.”

If one partner decides to leave the other, the rejected ISTP is quiet about his or her suffering. ISTPs don’t give up easily on their relationships unless the facts make it obvious that the partnership won’t work out. A rejected INFJ may take longer to recover from a broken romance and be reluctant to take the risk to move on.

Home Life

When an INFJ and ISTP decide to make their relationship permanent and live together, they usually find that it takes effort and patience to preserve the bond that they enjoyed initially. To avoid unnecessary friction, the two must respect each other’s ways of thinking and feeling. The ISTP should try to understand the INFJs need for emotional support. For this to happen, usually the INFJ must explain his or her needs to the ISTP and make suggestions for meeting them. At the same time, INFJs shouldn’t expect ISTPs to be their sole source of emotional support. They need to cultivate a few friends who can empathize with their feelings. It’s a good idea to spread dependency needs around.

Secrets of Success

A well-matched pair of INFJs and ISTJs can complement each other in ways that benefit them both. The INFJ can appreciate the ISTP’s ability to enjoy the details of life without over-thinking, as INFJs tend to do. ISTPs have an uncomplicated way of viewing the world. This can be a relief to the complex INFJ for whom very little is easy. The ISTP’s life is enriched by the creative, witty INFJ who is usually a pleasure to be around.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets ENFP

June 4, 2018/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Myers-Briggs personality traits have a lot to do with the potential for romance, friendship, and working relationships. They’re important in family life, too. Romance has a better chance of lasting between lovers of similar Myers-Briggs types. Siblings of the same personality type are likely to get along better than those of very different types.

People of the Myers-Briggs INFJ personality type share some characteristics with the ENFP type, but not others. They differ in their sociability (I = introvert, E = extravert), but share their preferences for both intuition (I) and feeling (F)—the main reason for their attraction to each other. Both types have an uncanny ability to size people up as the result of their intuitive gifts. The difference is that the INFJ is less likely to share discoveries and insights unless prompted. Because of their shared feeling preference, both are kind, compassionate. Their differences in Perceiving (P) and Judging (J) explain why they go about tasks differently—the perceiving type being more easy-going and less driven than the punctual, conscientious judging type.

Life is fun with ENFPs, who never tire of developing new interests. They’re at their best in situations that are fluid and changing. Even in their day-to-day activities they look for new ways of doing things. The same is true of INFJs except that they are drawn to activities that involve fewer social contacts and less communication with others. INFJs are more private.

Friendship

INFJs and ENFPs can spend long hours talking and laughing together because their ways of thinking are similar. Their intuitive and feeling traits are the glue that holds the friendship together. However, they are often at odds about their differences in sociability. The INFJ may grow weary of the amount of time the ENFP spends in the company of others. He or she regrets that the ENFP doesn’t take more pleasure in their time alone as friends.

In healthy friendships, compromise is the key. If the ENFP accepts many party invitations, the INFJ can consent to attend some but bow out of others. Each friend needs to understand the character of the other, honor his or her preferences, and adapt some of the time.

Another difference between them concerns punctuality. The INFJ is rarely tardy and gets things done when promised. ENFPs have a tendency to be late. They lose track of time, because they underestimate how long it will take to finish what they’re doing. They miss deadlines or are slow in meeting their commitments. This happy-go-lucky attitude often annoys INFJs, who think it irresponsible. ENFPs, on the other hand, may consider INFJs clock-watchers.

Romance

ENFPs have such appealing personalities that they’re never short of admirers. When a relationship takes hold with an INFJ, the bond is likely to be intense at first, as the ENFP showers attention on the other person. The INFJ feels honored and unconditionally loved. However, many of these relationships wear out over time, and the ENFP begins looking for another conquest.

Being in love is an almost constant state for ENFPs. When the love bug gets them, they study all aspects of the new partner. ENFPs tend to idealize their current relationships, thinking that the latest one is the best of all.

Whether male or female, ENFPs can be seductive. They know how to appeal to attractive prospects and make themselves desirable. Sometimes they go too far in their quest for affection, making the INFJ feel pressured and deprived of private time. If this makes the INFJ uneasy, the ENFP is likely to get anxious and needy. A discussion about the importance of boundaries may help ease the ENFP’s jittery response to a partner’s hesitance.

Being abandoned by an ENFP partner is hard on the sensitive INFJ, who thinks, “I’ll never find a person this wonderful again.” In contrast, a rejected ENFJ usually smarts at first, but then recovers by exaggerating the partner’s shortcomings and concentrating on new prospects. When ENFPs are left by a lover, they rebound quickly.

Home Life

INFJs who marry ENFPs find that they’re enjoyable to live with. They also make good parents. They know how to turn family chores into enjoyable activities. If there’s a task that’s boring, they find a way to make it interesting. They infuse family life with creativity and avoid letting their home get too structured, with no room for imagination. When the freewheeling goes too far, however, the INFJ may complain that things are getting out of control.

ENFPs may consider themselves organized in their home life, but INFJ partners often take a different view. The ENFPs’ desire to be open to new possibilities is usually stronger than their need to keep things neat and tidy. When they fix meals, the kitchen is likely to be a mess. Their offices or dens are cluttered. There’s always something more interesting to do than clean up.

Because of their wide-ranging interests, ENFPs tend to change jobs often—even career tracks—with the result that their finances are shaky. Partly this is due to their success at landing jobs for which they’re not fully qualified. If the family needs a steady income, the tendency of ENFPs to quit jobs or get fired may frustrate INFJs.

Secrets of Success

INFJs and ENFPs share the gifts of compassion and desire to help others. They’re champions of good causes—whether their efforts are directed at people, animals, or the environment. By cooperating in their efforts to help others, they strengthen their own personal bond. They make good partners, and together they are an admirable team.

Is Romance in the Air? INFJ Meets INFJ

May 10, 2018/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

When two INFJs find each other, they’re lucky. After all, only one percent of the population is the INFJ type. INFJs are kind, generous, and helpful to others. When friends or even strangers are in trouble, INFJs hurry to the rescue. They’re ready to offer creative solutions or hands-on support.

As friends or partners, each can depend on the other to behave with integrity—whatever the setting. Their actions match their ideals. While they don’t make a fuss about their standard of ethics, it’s apparent in everything they do.

Despite their admiration for each other, they are shy about giving and receiving praise due to their introverted personalities. They try to avoid the spotlight, even with one other person. Small talk is not their forte. They’d rather be quiet than engage in trivial conversation. In general, INFJs are at their best concentrating on their ideas and inspirations—not engaging in social banter.

Friendship

INFJs usually forge lasting friendships when they’re lucky enough to find each other. As friends, they work together harmoniously and are persistent about meeting their shared goals. If they meet resistance from outside sources, they only get more determined. Their friends and acquaintances respect their quiet strength and ability to support each other. Even at play, they’re a delight to be with because they’re so friendly, honest, and good-natured.

Because of their shared introversion, they’d rather be alone together than out socializing. When they’re enjoying themselves they may hesitate to invite others into the inner circle. They would do well to make friends with a few extraverts who can encourage them to share their fun or work. Spending time solely as a couple can cause the partners to stagnate without their realizing it.

INFJs are a pleasure to collaborate with when they don’t get too driven. They are clear-thinking, intelligent, and witty. Together, INFJ friends are keen observers of the human scene. By the time they share their insights with each other, they’ve usually covered all the bases. You can’t put much over on a pair of INFJs.

Romance

When two INFJs become romantically attached, they may at first feel shy about showing their affection. They aren’t big risk-takers in the business of romance. They make subtle gestures to encourage the object of their affection. They’re cautious about expressing their feelings for fear of rejection.

If INFJs seem aloof, it’s because they do such a good job of hiding their feelings. It isn’t easy for them to make their emotional needs known. When two INFJs recognize these qualities in each other, they generally have the patience to fish for clues. Eventually they reveal themselves.

Once two INFJs become close, they’re delighted with the treasure they’ve found. Both have rich imaginations and quick minds. They inspire each other to grow and develop without being controlling.

If, for some reason, the INFJ/INFJ match isn’t working well, the dissatisfied partner may try to postpone a separation because the intimacy is so important. In cases where one is married and the other isn’t, trouble may result. Since INFJs are loyal and ethical, they’re unlikely to leave a marriage partner. When they do, they suffer guilt and remorse. This isn’t good for any relationship. When two INFJs break up, both suffer. Neither forgets the other. Some longing for the relationship will always remain.

Home Life

INFJ partners are idealists as partners and parents. They strive for harmony, sometimes avoiding family conflicts that should be resolved by direct means. When disagreements arise, INFJ partners do well to find privacy and quiet time to discuss them. Because they’re complex people with subtle feelings, conflicts need to be sorted out carefully. Bold confrontations tend to backfire and cause resentments.

As parents, INFJs encourage their children to develop a number of skills and get a good education. They will sacrifice considerable time and money to this end.

If the children appear rebellious, uncooperative, or difficult for any reason, INFJs try hard to discover the source of the problem. As long as the children put forth genuine effort and appear to be making good use of their intelligence and skills, the parents are mostly happy.

The INFJs’ home has an abundance of books, sports equipment, musical instruments, and other paraphernalia scattered around as evidence of the couple’s many interests and hobbies. The more they can share these as a family, the happier they are. At the same time, each needs personal space where he or she can work and think in private.

The homes of INFJ couples are sometimes neat and organized, sometimes cluttered. It depends on how caught up they are in current hobbies and interests. Keeping an orderly environment feels good, but it’s not top priority. Their surroundings may be cluttered but their minds are extremely organized.

Secrets of Success

INFJs have a strong attraction for each other. To keep their relationship healthy, they need to preserve their needs for personal privacy. They should give each other the space needed for individual pursuits. At the same time, they should take time for social activities that get them out of the house and around other people.

When INFJs and ISTJs Disagree

October 28, 2016/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

The INFJ does not live in the same world as the ISTJ. They’re both introverts (I) and judging (J) types, but that’s about it. One is intuitive (N) and the other sensing (S). One is feeling (F) and the other thinking (T).

Differences of Opinion

If you’re an INFJ in a relationship with an ISTJ, be prepared for differences in opinion. As an INFJ, I’ve had problems with some ISTJs in the past, and I’ve seen them happen in other INFJ-ISTJ relationships. As a result, this blog is as much a personal statement as it is the sharing of professional knowledge about Myers-Briggs types.

The ISTJ believes that everything must be seen, heard, or measured to be real. The hunches of the INFJ, frequently based on limited information, may seem outlandish to ISTJs—even though the INFJ is usually correct. Also, the emotional component of INFJ thinking doesn’t make sense to most ISTJs. They believe in making decisions based on hard data. They consider feelings to be mostly irrelevant, except for their own—which they believe are based on reality, not state of mind. INFJs consider ISTJs too literal and lacking in imagination. What’s the use of gathering so much information, thinks the INFJ, when the conclusion is obvious?

How to Handle Conflicts

To negotiate disagreements or differences of opinion with ISTJs, INFJs need to back up their points with literal, objective examples, not subjective feelings or abstract ideas. Discussions should be concrete and matter-of-fact, not emotional. If an argument concerns an expenditure, for example, INFJs should not dwell on how important a desired item is to them. They should focus on needs the item meets, the benefits it offers, and its impact on their financial resources.

Let’s say an INFJ female partner in a relationship with an ISTJ wants to buy a canoe. She’s pretty sure it’s within their budget, although she hasn’t done the calculations. She thinks canoeing would be good exercise for them both. She knows of nearby rivers and lakes where they could launch their boat. But mostly, she wants the pleasure of being out on the water with her partner. This last argument for a canoe is not the first one she should use. After broaching the subject, she should be prepared to go over the family budget with the ISTJ partner, look into the purchase price of canoes, and consult maps about available sites for canoeing. She might even raise the topic of exercise benefits.

Construct: Conflict Resolution

The diagram shows how INFJs and ISTJs handle this type of decision. The triangle represents a construct—the prospect of buying a canoe. (The dictionary defines “construct” as “an idea or theory containing various conceptual elements.”) The green circle at the top of the triangle represents the INFJ, who, as an intuitive (I), generally approaches ideas from the top down, looking at the whole before investigating the parts. The red circle at the bottom represents the ISTJ, who, being a sensing (S) type, looks at bottom-line details first and then decides whether they fit into a larger construct. The question is, how do the two Myers-Briggs types meet in the middle?

The best way for an INFJ to discuss the matter of a canoe purchase with an ESTJ is to deal with information, not feelings. This approach draws the ISTJs mind further up into the overall construct of buying a canoe. If the INFJ and ISTJ are lucky, they will meet in the grey zone in the diagram. Then, hopefully, they can head happily to a sporting goods store.

Despite their personality differences, some INFJs and ISTJs have undoubtedly developed the skills to sidestep conflicts. I was never very successful.

Myers-Briggs Personality Types of Children—Part 1: Introverted Kids

September 27, 2016/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

If your baby comes home from the hospital quiet and easy-going, will the peace last? What about the toddler who enjoys nothing more than turning the pages of a book, while another is scaling every surface in sight? Will their personalities change over the years?

Parents who dreamed of their child becoming a celebrated athlete may be disappointed when he or she prefers staying inside taking a clock apart to playing outdoors with friends. Parents hoping for a Rhodes scholar may be let down when their child would rather climb trees than read books.

Many experts believe that Myers-Briggs personality tests are unreliable in children. Others claim that infants have their basic personalities in place from the time they take their first breath. Personality scores may shift over the years, but they rarely make an about face.

This is about introverted (I) children. There are eight types of introverts according to Myers-Briggs theory. They differ in the combinations of the other three pairs of traits on the personality test: 1) sensing (S) and intuition (N); 2) feeling (F) and thinking (T); and 3) perceiving (P) and judging (J). The scores on four pairs range from one extreme to another, with some close to the middle.

Sensing (S) kids are observant and aware of all the details around them. Intuitive (N) types are more thoughtful and rely on hunches. Feeling (F) children make decisions based on how they’ll affect other people. Those of the thinking (T) type depend on logic and are less likely to focus on outcomes. Perceiving (P) children are easy-going and move from one activity to another. Those with a judging (J) preference are more focused and like to finish things.

ISFJ: Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging

isfj-stick As children, ISFJs are generally well behaved. They’re little trouble to their parents and teachers. They want to know what’s expected of then, and they quietly follow through. Even when asked to make sacrifices, ISFJ kids take pride doing the right thing. In school, they stick with a few close friends and avoid conflict.

Because ISFJ children try to be certain about their duties, they tend to do only what they’re told. With their inward focus, they have a tendency to worry about things. For this reason, they may perform below their potential. They need encouragement to stretch themselves.

ISFP: Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving

isfp-stick ISFP kids are quiet and kind. Because they avoid the spotlight, their many gifts may be overlooked. They are compassionate not only with other people, but also with animals—and indeed with all living things. They’re easy to like and attract other kids as friends. When arguments arise, they act as peacemakers.

ISFP children appreciate beauty, often making unique gifts for others that are colorful and beautiful. They enjoy the feeling of their bodies in motion—skating, dancing, and simply moving gracefully.

INFJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging

infj-stick INFJs are complex, even as young children. While they can be outgoing at times and involved with other kids, they’re also quiet and creative, caught up in their private worlds. They’re gentle and dislike violence and cruelty, whether in games or in real life.

It’s not uncommon for INFJ children to make frequent trips to the library, bringing home many books at a time and spending hours in their rooms reading. The next day, they’re outdoors having adventures with friends. INFJ kids can be a challenge to parents who find their inconsistency hard to understand.

INFP: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving

infp-stick INFP children are daydreamers, creating their own fantasy worlds. They are quiet, especially in new situations. Sometimes their parents worry whether they’re sufficiently grounded in reality. These kids enjoy getting lost in books. They learn to write at an early age.

Before INFPs even start school, they know what’s important to them. They sense where they’re headed and seldom ask for guidance. They’d rather do things for themselves than get help—to be sure they’re done right. They’re often careful not to reveal their mistakes to others. INFP children benefit from gentle handling and understanding.

INTJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Judging

intj-stick The independent natures of INTJ children are apparent early in life. They like to daydream and get caught up in ideas of how the world should be. They can be rebellious when told things that contradict what they believe. INTJs make their own rules and boundaries.

The life of the mind is important to INTJs, so they value their education. They‘re creative and innovative, finding their own efficient ways of doing and making things. These children can be a challenge to parents who would prefer easy-going, compliant children.

INTP: Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving

intp-stick1 As children, INTPs often enjoy their own thoughts more than the company of other kids. They generally read a lot, going out to play only when invited. INTPs are full of questions, many times challenging parents and teachers with their observations. More than most children, INTPs enjoy inventing things and finding unusual pastimes not typical of kids their age.

INTP tastes are not dictated by popular trends. When these children disagree with conventional ideas, they’re quick to find fault in people’s logic, no matter how important the person. Some parents are baffled by the complexity of children who seem to have such a rich inner life.

ISTP: Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving

istp-stick ISTP children have two sides—one that observes the world and one that takes action. The observer likes to sit quietly and watch what’s going on, absorbing all the details. These kids want to know what make things tick, taking them apart to see how they work. Children of this type who play outdoors a lot are frequently experts on bugs, snakes, and other wildlife.

Usually, ISTPs are good with their hands and can fix things. They aren’t afraid to take risks with such sports as rock-climbing and backpacking. Parents who enjoy quiet children will find much to treasure in the ISTP.

ISTJ: Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging

istj-stick As children, ISTJs are well behaved and quiet. They function best in an environment that’s ordered and structured. With their well-developed sense of responsibility, ISTJs do best when given schedules to follow. They want to get their work done before they play. Around new people, they’re cautious and often uneasy until they get to know them. When ISTJs know what to expect, they’re more relaxed.

People of this personality type take a conventional view of life. While they enjoy solitary pastimes at home, they also appreciate traditional group activities such as scouting. Parents of these conscientious children can help them develop a more playful side of their personalities.

Part 2 of this series describes the eight types of extraverted children.