Are You an Introvert or an Extravert?
Are you attracted to people of different Myers-Briggs types? This is natural. The novelty is appealing, even seductive. Over time, however, you (an Introvert, let’s say) may find that the gregarious, outgoing person you met and have started to date now gets on your nerves. These Extraverts, you think, spill all the beans the moment they meet someone. You hear yourself saying, “Do you have to tell your life story to everyone on the street?” The insult gets you nowhere, of course. The person is just following the mandates of his or her Myers-Briggs type.
It’s interesting to consider that as much as we think we prefer the novel and unique in other people, we wish later on that they’d be more like us. In the long run, we may find our attraction soured by people who insist on “doing their own thing,” especially when it departs from conformity. In a family, business, or community organization, such nonconformity may even be regarded as disloyal or slightly dangerous.
Introversion and Extraversion are traits that reflect how we deal with the outer world and where we get our energy. Introverts get their inner renewal from private time—time spent alone with their thoughts. They don’t socialize much compared to Extraverts, who thrive on the company of others. Being with people is the source of the Extravert’s energy.
Introvert Type
- Introverts often rehearse what they’re going to say and prefer that others do the same. When someone proposes a course of action, they’re likely to say, “I’ll think about that.”
- Introverts enjoy the peace and quiet of their own company. They often feel that their privacy is being invaded by others. Many develop the skill of tuning out noises from the social world, such as conversations in the other room. Some shut off the radio and TV in the house when they want to be alone and left in peace.
- They are often seen as great, empathic listeners, but feel that others take advantage of their willingness to listen rather than talk about themselves.
- Others often perceive them as reserved or shy because they don’t talk much when with people outside their social circle (which tends to be very small).
- Introverts like to share special occasions with one other person or a couple of close friends. They hate surprise parties.
- They avoid blurting their opinions out forcefully, but then get annoyed when someone else comes out with just what they were about to say.
- When they share feelings and thoughts they don’t want interruptions from others, just as they don’t interrupt others when they are sharing.
- They need to “recharge” alone after they’ve spent some time socializing with others.
- Introverts get suspicious or annoyed when others chatter away, repeating things others have said, or are too effusive in their compliments. They believe in the old saying, “Talk is cheap.”
Extravert Type
- Extraverts tend to talk first and think later. They often don’t know what they’re about to say until they hear themselves say it. They sometimes berate themselves for talking too much.
- They know a lot of people and tend to count them as close friends. They try to include as many people as possible in social activities.
- They don’t mind distracting noises in the background when reading or trying to hold a conversation. They’re good at tuning out irrelevant noises.
- Extraverts are very approachable, whether it’s by strangers or friends. They enjoy conversation for its own sake, although they do have a tendency to dominate the content.
- They find telephone calls to be welcome distractions. Often they’re the first to pick up the phone when it rings. They often call people on impulse when they just want to communicate some interesting bit of news.
- They enjoy parties and like talking with many different people, including strangers. They tend to reveal personal information even with people they’ve never met before.
- When faced with a task or assignment, Extraverts prefer bouncing ideas off others rather than reflecting in solitude. They prefer generating possibilities in a group to doing it by themselves.
- Frequently Extraverts ask for help from others when doing mundane tasks. When Extraverts lose their glasses, for example, they’re likely to ask everyone in the room to help look for them rather than tackle the search on their own.
- They need affirmations and compliments from others about who they are, how they look, and just about everything else. They may think they are doing a good job, but they don’t believe it until they hear others say so.
If you’re an Introvert, that means you’re introverted most, but not all, of the time. People move back and forth slightly in the Myers-Briggs preferences, depending on the situation. There might be a group meeting of a fellowship you’ve belonged to for a long time, where you find the social interactions stimulating. The chances are, though, that you’re glad to go home again afterward. If you’re an Extravert and have been in business meetings all day long, you may feel worn out and want only to go home and listen to some classical music. It’s normal for the preferences to be modified according to different situations. The balance between the two traits on each of the four pairs depends on a number of factors, but the overall tendencies are usually stable.
ESTP elders continue to have the same characteristics they did when younger. Many of them choose to retire early so they’ll have more time to do the things that are fun. They like activities which require solving problems that are often difficult and tense. While they may take part in various organizations, they avoid leadership positions. Taking charge is not in their repertoire. They become involved mainly for the activities. When grandchildren arrive, the elders take pleasure in outings to the zoo, sports events, and so on. Children love their spontaneity and ability to improvise games on the spot.
Because ESTJs often have a long history in of employment, their financial needs may be taken care of. However, they’ve become so accustomed to work that the idea of full-time leisure may intimidate them. Unless they’ve developed personally during their younger years to include activities that are flexible and rewarding, they may find retirement difficult. Many compensate by learning to think in terms of priorities and start making lists. Removing the spontaneity factor and therefore absolved from dealing with the emotional content of activities is more comfortable. ESTJs are efficiency devotees. It something is not on their list, they forget about it even though it may be of immediate importance and others may try to sidetrack them.
In retirement, ESFPs continue their people-oriented life, keeping old friends and continuing to provide the amusement and comradeship of years past. They have an optimism that is contagious and draws others to them. When ESFPs have unfortunate experiences, they’re often able to look at the sunny side. While some nursing home residents despair about their futures, ESFPs are likely to enjoy new friends, freedom from responsibilities, and new activities to participate in. Because their friends of the past have enjoyed them so much over the years, they’re unlikely to abandon the friendship. The want to help out where they can.
ESFJ elders don’t change much in their relationships after retirement. They keep doing nice, thoughtful things for others, and their company is a pleasure. They continuing scheduling lunches and other outside activities with former colleagues. They make follow-up calls and send notes. If they have grandchildren, they’ll help the parents in any way they can—baby-sitting, picking up the children at school, taking them on outings, and so on. Whatever they can do for others around them to make experiences more enjoyable, they do. It makes them feel good that others appreciate their efforts.
ENFPs remain young in spirit as they age, maintaining characteristics from their youth such as a zestful enjoyment of life, curiosity, and enthusiasm. As a result, people of all ages, including children, enjoy their company. They look forward to retirement as a time when they’ll be free of the restrictions and boundaries of the work world and can take pleasure in activities for which they’ve never had enough time when employed. Because they look for possibilities before realities, some of their activities may not be considered age-appropriate, such as joining the Peace Corps. However, if they become disabled or suffer from lack of money, they may get depressed because of all the opportunities missed.
ENFJs leaving full-time employment often look for places to live where they have family and friends or other close personal ties. Relationships and values were always important to this type, but they become even more so in retirement. Many ENFJs who previously did service work on the job, look for similar opportunities on a volunteer basis. They do this gladly, believing that an important goal in life is to help others. One of the lessons many need to learn is to let others help them some of the time. They are so used to giving help that it’s hard for them to imagine accepting it. ENFJs go out of their way to encouraging their grandchildren, reading to them, helping them with homework, etc.
ENTP have many inspiring ideas and projects during their working years, and these continue into retirement. While they may not have planned financially for these years, they have certainly given a lot of thought to the types of things they dream of doing. However, money may be a problem. Since it’s likely that they’ve changed jobs a number of times, they may have no stable retirement income to depend upon. However, they remain enthusiastic about their ideas and may find other lucrative means of earning a living that use their ingenuity. Some start new businesses that generate enough income to support their interests in old age. The desire for challenge, newness, variety and change don’t disappear as the years pass.
All their lives, ENTJs have been rewarded with leadership positions at work and in community organizations. They have always had a strategy in which potential for future gain outweighs risks. Because they are hard drivers with strong goal orientation, the prospect of retirement and long lazy days may be daunting to them. Inactivity makes them restless and the thought of filling their time with nothing of consequence dismays them. The chances are that finances are no problem because their careers have been so successful. Many continue to work as consultants to the same firms where they were previously employed. Maintaining autonomy is one of their major retirement goals. They need to learn to rely on others some of the time even though it’s difficult for them.
ESTJ children tend to be obedient and reliable. They’re also organized and practical. In general, they are action-
oriented, rolling up their sleeves for any job at hand and digging in to get the chore done. They’re quick to decide on practical aims and set them into motion. They figure out what needs to be acted on, follow through, and finish on time. They like closure. They make sure everyone else is doing their job, too—often a source of irritation for other types. They are best at tasks that require organization and structure and come to a conclusive end. They like activities in which winners are rewarded with trophies and badges (such as soccer and Scouts). ESTJ children want to do things properly and will voluntarily sign up for class or lessons. The planning alone brings comfort to them.
ESFP children are naturally warm, active, and drawn to other people. They are concerned about the welfare and safety of those around them. They use touch as a way to show that they care. It’s difficult to ignore ESFP children because they are so oriented to the present, particularly where others are concerned. They are even open to strangers, an inclination that sometimes worries parents. They often sense what’s going on before anyone else notices. Their dispositions are bright and sunny. The enjoy laughing at themselves and others. It’s hard to find them sitting still. Because of their outgoing dispositions, they have many loyal friends. They’re popular in school. At their best, ESFPs meet the needs of their friends and families in lively, fun ways.
ENTJ children need objectives for everything—better grades than anyone else, winning contests, beating other contestants in various kinds of competitions. They take charge of themselves effectively and often other people, as well. They aim fora measurable. observable goals. ENTJs have a strong desire to take control and shape the goals of others. They want structure and order in their lives. When others formulate the guidelines, ENTJs will go along with them if the guidelines seem reasonable. If not, they will rebel and attempt to change the rules. They are excellent time managers. All in all, they enjoy a diverse lifestyle and are engaged in different extracurricular activities—of which they are often leaders, chairs, or captains. They pursue leadership roles very clearly and are competitive in attaining them. However, if someone more competent comes along, they will glad accede to the person. They are at their best using their strategic and analytical thought patterns. They keep their environments as orderly as possible.
ENFP are among the most curious of all the types. Their questions are endless, often starting with the word “Why?” when they play, their inventions are endless. Rarely are they satisfied with traditional toys or conventional ways of playing with them. Their innovations are rarely practical but they satisfy the ENFP’s creative urge—plays, sidewalk sales, made-up languages. Because of their rich imaginations and ability to improvise, they enjoy play-acting drawing, writing, and just day-dreaming. The excitement of being with an ENFP rewards them with many friends. They are agreeable, outgoing, sociable children who like to think about the future. When with friends, they’ll spend hours discussing whom they will marry, where they’ will settle down and what their careers will be. They don’t like closing options and will often decide upon mutually exclusive occupations (nurse, actress) without feeling the need to close out any of them. Their fearless, adventurous spirit often finds them in the role of initiators of change. They appreciate the needs of others and often ready to help them out.
ENFJ children are friendly, lively, and cooperative. They are pleasant, outgoing, and talkative. They enjoy being with other people and are responsible in their actions and social responsibilities. ENFJs are constantly on the go, participating in a wide variety of activities—not only for the opportunities and adventure, but also for the chance to interact with other children. They are at their best facilitating cooperation among their peers and smoothing out any disharmony. They will often sacrifice their own convenience and desires to satisfy the needs of their peer group. ENFJs are uncomfortable with conflict. They are capable and persuasive communicators. They’re often given leadership roles because of this tendency. They focus on interpersonal values and concentrate on the best aspects of any group they belong to, as well as the pleasing qualities of their friends and peers. Whatever tasks they undertake must have a spiritual element, even if it’s just camaraderie.
ESTP children are rambunctious kids. They think their lives should be action-packed and full of fun. When things get boring, they stir them up. Because of their outgoing personalities, they make friends easily and enjoy group activities.
ESTJ children are logical and organized. They’re responsible, obedient kids, respecting the standards set by adults. They get upset when grown-up rules are changed suddenly—unless they’re given a clear reason. For fun, they enjoy doing things that produce results, such as competing in games. Follow-through is their motto. They don’t understand people who go about things in a haphazard way.
Children of the ESFP personality type show their generous, caring nature from the time they’re toddlers. They’re warm, active and full of life. They like to be held and show affection by touching people. They want to bring happiness to those around them. Sometimes, though, they’re self-conscious whey they’re on the receiving end.
Children with ESFJ personalities are responsible and cooperative. They thrive on praise and personal attention. They’ll put forth considerable effort to gain approval from grown-ups and friends. ESFJs try to do the right thing. Always concerned about the well being of others, they go out of their way to help those in distress—even when it involves making personal sacrifices.
The natural curiosity of ENFP children leads them into endless adventures. They are full of questions. Fueled by their creativity, the spend hours exploring new ways to spend their time—making sand castles, rearranging indoor furniture for their adventures, making up plays, and so on.
ENFJ children are cooperative and lively. Once they learn to talk, they never seem to stop. These congenial extraverts need lots of social interaction. Conflict and arguments upset them.
ENTPs are lively children who question routine ways of doing things. They rarely accept rules without question. If a requirement seems unreasonable, they try to get around it. Then they justify their behavior with logical explanations.
ENTJ children are driven by goals from the time they’re very young. They can be scholarly, athletic, and creative—all at the same time. They’re like to get straight As in school—as much to satisfy themselves as to please their parents. It’s important for them to win games and come in first in competitions. They like to win.
As children, ISFJs are generally well behaved. They’re little trouble to their parents and teachers. They want to know what’s expected of then, and they quietly follow through. Even when asked to make sacrifices, ISFJ kids take pride doing the right thing. In school, they stick with a few close friends and avoid conflict.
ISFP kids are quiet and kind. Because they avoid the spotlight, their many gifts may be overlooked. They are compassionate not only with other people, but also with animals—and indeed with all living things. They’re easy to like and attract other kids as friends. When arguments arise, they act as peacemakers.
INFJs are complex, even as young children. While they can be outgoing at times and involved with other kids, they’re also quiet and creative, caught up in their private worlds. They’re gentle and dislike violence and cruelty, whether in games or in real life.
INFP children are daydreamers, creating their own fantasy worlds. They are quiet, especially in new situations. Sometimes their parents worry whether they’re sufficiently grounded in reality. These kids enjoy getting lost in books. They learn to write at an early age.
The independent natures of INTJ children are apparent early in life. They like to daydream and get caught up in ideas of how the world should be. They can be rebellious when told things that contradict what they believe. INTJs make their own rules and boundaries.
As children, INTPs often enjoy their own thoughts more than the company of other kids. They generally read a lot, going out to play only when invited. INTPs are full of questions, many times challenging parents and teachers with their observations. More than most children, INTPs enjoy inventing things and finding unusual pastimes not typical of kids their age.
ISTP children have two sides—one that observes the world and one that takes action. The observer likes to sit quietly and watch what’s going on, absorbing all the details. These kids want to know what make things tick, taking them apart to see how they work. Children of this type who play outdoors a lot are frequently experts on bugs, snakes, and other wildlife.
As children, ISTJs are well behaved and quiet. They function best in an environment that’s ordered and structured. With their well-developed sense of responsibility, ISTJs do best when given schedules to follow. They want to get their work done before they play. Around new people, they’re cautious and often uneasy until they get to know them. When ISTJs know what to expect, they’re more relaxed.
Mother Teresa was an ISFJ, a type called the “Protector.” True to her personality type, she was caring, down-to-earth and dependable. Working in the slums of Calcutta, India, she founded a charity that ran homes for the dying. Like most ISFJs, she was compassionate and dedicated to helping others.
Bobby Fischer, world chess champion. was an INTJ—a Myers-Briggs personality type called the “Mastermind.” He was a brilliant and creative strategist, but a difficult man. Like many INTJs, he sometimes seemed so confident of himself as to appear overbearing. True to his type, he liked to design models based on theories he’d developed.
The foremost advocate of 
The INTP “Problem-Solver” personality type, Marie Curie discovered radium in 1898. True to type, she was quiet and modest. Exacting in her work, she was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize. Like most INTPs, she adopted an approach to life and work that was intellectual and independent. She was intensely private.
Princess Diana, beloved by millions, was an INFP noted for her compassion and global philanthropy. INFPs are soft-spoken idealists who dedicate themselves to helping others. They avoid conflict and try not to create waves, but when they see people behaving unkindly, they can become surprisingly assertive.
David Bowie was an ISFP, a personality type called the “Artist.” He was a world-famous singer, songwriter and actor with a reputation as a flamboyant celebrity onstage. In private, Bowie was like most ISFPs—a gentle, modest human being. He had a natural curiosity that fueled his creative spirit.
An ISTP, the Dalai Lama is a famous Buddhist leader. True to his personality type, he is practical, reserved, and expresses himself in deeds. He is an independent man with an analytical mind. His enterprising, adventurous spirit were evident in his flight to India after the Chinese invaded his homeland, Tibet.
Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany, is an ISTJ. As a political leader, she is organized, objective and demanding. While ISTJs know how to be gracious and articulate in social situations, at heart they are independent, private types. They don’t make decisions without first collecting detailed information.
Like most ESTPs, foxes look for pleasure in life and want to share it with others. ESTPs are charismatic and dramatic. They’re spontaneous and fun to watch. They know how to influence those around them. In this respect, foxes are like their ESTP human counterparts. If you’re looking for a good time, foxes will quickly endear themselves to you. They’re also quick-witted and can be tricky.
As ENTJs, lions are independent, logical thinkers. They live in packs called “prides.” Because they’re thinking (T) types, they don’t let emotions enter their decision-making process. That’s why they’re often seen as callous. But these fierce cats can be warm and nurturing with members of their group. They’re caring parents, protective of their cubs and relatives. At the same time, they’re enterprising and powerful. Just like ENTJ people.
As ESFPs, otters revel in the moment. They live at top speed. They’re playful, generous with others of their species, and always see the bright side of life. They love having new adventures with their friends. Learning things in a routine way is not their thing. They like to experiment. They’re intelligent and creative. The object of life is to have a good time and eat well, lying on their backs cracking open shellfish or zooming around underwater looking for fish.
Dolphins are so sociable that they make friends not only with their own kind but with other species such as humans. They’re keenly aware of the feelings and needs of those around them. They aim to please. Like most ENFPs, dolphins enjoy company and are seldom out on their own. They have boundless energy and enthusiasm. It’s not unusual for beach-goers to see groups of them playing offshore, performing in the water like synchronized swimmers. ENFPs, including dolphins, get bored easily and are always ready for new adventures.
ESTJ honeybees are civic-minded creatures that try to improve their society, organize their environment, and make improvements. They’re perfect counterparts to ESTJ humans. They’re good at making their needs and desires known. As strong believers in the letter of the law, they follow rules and regulations. No-nonsense bees are practical and direct and have little use for new experiences. Bees live in a complex, cooperative society.
ENTPs value intelligence and skill over all other things. They’re often described as witty, bright and resourceful. Parrots, the perfect ENTPs, can speak, hold conversations with their human owners, and even make jokes. They like to analyze every side of things and are creative thinkers and workers. They take pleasure in the company of others. ENTPs enjoy a constant flow of inspiration and jump from one challenge to another.
Like their human ESFJ counterparts, elephants are genuine and authentic. They care deeply for each other. ESFJ elephants bring out the best in those around them. They’re loyal and responsible to their families and members of their herd.They are tolerant of the faults of others. However, they’re also sensitive and their feelings are easily hurt.
Like ENFJ people, dogs like to have a wide variety of friends. Dogs who are confined alone often become depressed and irritable. Dogs are cheerleaders and love to greet their families with a face lick and wagging tail. They feel good when those around them feel good.They are the picture of loyalty, which they give freely and accept joyfully. Usually, they adapt to new groups easily, as can be witnessed at any dog park. They are truly team players.
ENTJ: Buzz Lightyear
ENFJ: Merlin
ENTP: Robin Hood
ENFP: Ariel
ESTP: Dodger
ESFJ: Snow White
ESFP: Timon
ESTJ: Woody