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Extraverted Kids—Myers-Briggs Types

According to the Myers Briggs system of classifying personalities, extraverted children come in eight types. The only trait that runs as a constant thread through all types is Extraversion (I). All these children are outgoing and talkative compared with their quieter counterparts, the eight introverts. The other traits represented in the group of extraverts are Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J).

ESTP—Extraverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Perceiving (J)

ESTP children love the taste of freedom. They are energetic and rambunctious. Where the action is—that’s where they want to be. They dislike sitting still, preferring to be outside, involved in energy-intensive activities. They prefer challenges to sitting still and watching life pass them by. If they enjoy school, it’s mainly because the classroom is a place to get together with friends. After-school activities are high on their list of pleasures. If they don’t excel academically, it’s mainly because they want to do things their way in their own time. They favor inanimate objects such as action toys, games, and sports equipment and take good care of them. Pleasing themselves is their aim.

ESTJ— Extraverted (I), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

ESTJ children tend to be obedient and reliable. They’re also organized and practical. In general, they are action-oriented, rolling up their sleeves for any job at hand and digging in to get the chore done. They’re quick to decide on practical aims and set them into motion. They figure out what needs to be acted on, follow through, and finish on time. They like closure. They make sure everyone else is doing their job, too—often a source of irritation for other types. They are best at tasks that require organization and structure and come to a conclusive end. They like activities in which winners are rewarded with trophies and badges (such as soccer and Scouts). ESTJ children want to do things properly and will voluntarily sign up for class or lessons. The planning alone brings comfort to them.

ESFP—Extraverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Perceiving (P)

ESFP children are naturally warm, active, and drawn to other people. They are concerned about the welfare and safety of those around them. They use touch as a way to show that they care. It’s difficult to ignore ESFP children because they are so oriented to the present, particularly where others are concerned. They are even open to strangers, an inclination that sometimes worries parents. They often sense what’s going on before anyone else notices. Their dispositions are bright and sunny. The enjoy laughing at themselves and others. It’s hard to find them sitting still. Because of their outgoing dispositions, they have many loyal friends. They’re popular in school. At their best, ESFPs meet the needs of their friends and families in lively, fun ways.

ESFJ—Extraverted (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (T), Judging (J)

ESFJ children want life to be secure, harmonious and structured. Parents can count on them to get their chores done reliably and responsibly. They finish whatever they start. They follow the rules and guidelines given to them, accepting them as fair and reasonable, on the whole. When they disagree with any of them, they feel betrayed by the “system.” It’s important to them that they receive approval and praise for what they accomplish. Pleasing their elders is important to them. They will go to great lengths to help people in trouble or in pain. ESFJs radiate warmth and acceptance and fit in well with their classmates. They may be active in several clubs or after-school activities to enjoy the fellowship of friends. In groups of other children, they are sometimes viewed as “peacemakers”—children who know how to smooth over disagreements.

ENTP—Extraverted (I), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Perceiving (P)

ENTP children are lively and questioning. They don’t work or play according to established guidelines. They find their own way. They have faith in their ability to improvise and find workable solutions to any problems that arise. They value innovation, and flexibility. Telling ENTP children that they must follow certain traditions is like inviting rebellion. However, they are also good a persuading people to see things their way. They use their ingenuity and cleverness to bring others around to their personal perspective of the situation. They are often several steps ahead of their peers and even grownups in facing challenges of the present and future. Change and innovation are the kind of environment they thrive in. Even at a young age, their entrepreneurial skills are at hand to push against all odds, furthering their projects.

ENTJ—Extraverted (E), Intuitive (N), Thinking (T), Judging (J)

ENTJ children need objectives for everything—better grades than anyone else, winning contests, beating other contestants in various kinds of competitions. They take charge of themselves effectively and often other people, as well. They aim fora measurable. observable goals. ENTJs have a strong desire to take control and shape the goals of others. They want structure and order in their lives. When others formulate the guidelines, ENTJs will go along with them if the guidelines seem reasonable. If not, they will rebel and attempt to change the rules. They are excellent time managers. All in all, they enjoy a diverse lifestyle and are engaged in different extracurricular activities—of which they are often leaders, chairs, or captains. They pursue leadership roles very clearly and are competitive in attaining them. However, if someone more competent comes along, they will glad accede to the person. They are at their best using their strategic and analytical thought patterns. They keep their environments as orderly as possible.

ENFP—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (T), Perceiving (J)

ENFP are among the most curious of all the types. Their questions are endless, often starting with the word “Why?” when they play, their inventions are endless. Rarely are they satisfied with traditional toys or conventional ways of playing with them. Their innovations are rarely practical but they satisfy the ENFP’s creative urge—plays, sidewalk sales, made-up languages. Because of their rich imaginations and ability to improvise, they enjoy play-acting drawing, writing, and just day-dreaming. The excitement of being with an ENFP rewards them with many friends. They are agreeable, outgoing, sociable children who like to think about the future. When with friends, they’ll spend hours discussing whom they will marry, where they’ will settle down and what their careers will be. They don’t like closing options and will often decide upon mutually exclusive occupations (nurse, actress) without feeling the need to close out any of them. Their fearless, adventurous spirit often finds them in the role of initiators of change. They appreciate the needs of others and often ready to help them out.

ENFJ—Introverted (I), Intuitive (N), Feeling (T), Judging (P)

ENFJ children are friendly, lively, and cooperative. They are pleasant, outgoing, and talkative. They enjoy being with other people and are responsible in their actions and social responsibilities. ENFJs are constantly on the go, participating in a wide variety of activities—not only for the opportunities and adventure, but also for the chance to interact with other children. They are at their best facilitating cooperation among their peers and smoothing out any disharmony. They will often sacrifice their own convenience and desires to satisfy the needs of their peer group. ENFJs are uncomfortable with conflict. They are capable and persuasive communicators. They’re often given leadership roles because of this tendency. They focus on interpersonal values and concentrate on the best aspects of any group they belong to, as well as the pleasing qualities of their friends and peers. Whatever tasks they undertake must have a spiritual element, even if it’s just camaraderie.

Famous People and Their Myers-Briggs Personality Types: Part 2, the Introverts

September 22, 2016/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

The Myers-Briggs personality test has been used to analyze many famous people. While most celebrities, past and present, have never taken a personality test, psychologists who are knowledgeable about typology believe they know what the outcomes would be.

Introverts are usually deep thinkers, complex individuals who can be charming in public but are private in their personal lives. Introverts aren’t easily categorized or put in boxes. Most politicians, entertainers, and leaders of large organizations are extraverts. Part 1 of this two-part series described some famous extraverts, living and dead. This article, Part 2, is about famous introverts.

Famous Introverts of the Past

ISFJ: Mother Teresa
Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging

03-motherteresa Mother Teresa was an ISFJ, a type called the “Protector.” True to her personality type, she was caring, down-to-earth and dependable. Working in the slums of Calcutta, India, she founded a charity that ran homes for the dying. Like most ISFJs, she was compassionate and dedicated to helping others.

INTJ: Bobby Fischer
Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Judging

06-bobby-fischer Bobby Fischer, world chess champion. was an INTJ—a Myers-Briggs personality type called the “Mastermind.” He was a brilliant and creative strategist, but a difficult man. Like many INTJs, he sometimes seemed so confident of himself as to appear overbearing. True to his type, he liked to design models based on theories he’d developed.

INFJ: Mahatma Ghandi
Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging

09-ghandi The foremost advocate of nonviolent civil disobedience in the world, Gandhi was an INFJ who led India to independence in 1947. It was Ghandi who inspired American civil rights advocates struggling for racial equality in the 1960s. Like most INFJs, Ghandi was idealistic, determined and compassionate. His integrity was evident in everything he did.

INTP: Marie Curie
Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving

11-mariecurie The INTP “Problem-Solver” personality type, Marie Curie discovered radium in 1898. True to type, she was quiet and modest. Exacting in her work, she was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize. Like most INTPs, she adopted an approach to life and work that was intellectual and independent. She was intensely private.

INFP: Princess Diana
Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving

12-princessdiana Princess Diana, beloved by millions, was an INFP noted for her compassion and global philanthropy. INFPs are soft-spoken idealists who dedicate themselves to helping others. They avoid conflict and try not to create waves, but when they see people behaving unkindly, they can become surprisingly assertive.

ISFP: David Bowie
Introverted, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving

13-davidbowie David Bowie was an ISFP, a personality type called the “Artist.” He was a world-famous singer, songwriter and actor with a reputation as a flamboyant celebrity onstage. In private, Bowie was like most ISFPs—a gentle, modest human being. He had a natural curiosity that fueled his creative spirit.

Famous Introverts of the Present

ISTP: Dalai Lama
Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving

14-dalailama An ISTP, the Dalai Lama is a famous Buddhist leader. True to his personality type, he is practical, reserved, and expresses himself in deeds. He is an independent man with an analytical mind. His enterprising, adventurous spirit were evident in his flight to India after the Chinese invaded his homeland, Tibet.

ISTJ: Angela Merkel
Introverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging

15-merkel Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany, is an ISTJ. As a political leader, she is organized, objective and demanding. While ISTJs know how to be gracious and articulate in social situations, at heart they are independent, private types. They don’t make decisions without first collecting detailed information.

Extraverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types: Part 2 of a Two-Part Series

September 16, 2016/0 Comments/in Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

Why do we love Disney characters so much? What is it about their stories that touches our hearts?

We see reflections of own personalities in characters like Jiminy Cricket, Alice in Wonderland, Pocahontas, and even Merlin. If you know your Myers-Briggs personality type, maybe you can relate to some of them. This blog tells you about the extraverts (E) among Disney’s colorful animated characters

ENTJ: Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Lightyear, a toy space ranger in “Toy Story,” is known for his bravery and courage. ENTJ Buzz believes in following the rules. Though a great leader, he’s sometimes impulsive and demanding. He’s a skilled warrior in hand-to-hand combat and stays in peak physical condition. In “Toy Story 2,” Buzz leads a toy gang to rescue Woody, who has been captured by a greedy toy collector.

ENTJs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and judging (J). In real life, ENTJs are born leaders. Confident and outgoing, they have a need to run things. To them, life is full of people who can transform their visions into realities. To the ENTJ, the world is a treasure trove of possibilities, all of them within reach. They can be hard on people who fail to live up to their standards.

ENFJ: Merlin

ENFJ Merlin, the wizard of Disney’s animated film “The Sword and the Stone,” is so wise that he can see into the future. He can enchant objects and people. As Merlin travels through time, he learns much about the past, present and future. His wisdom, with its depth and complexity, sometimes leaves others confused. Despite his brains, he can be absent-minded and clumsy.

ENFJs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and judging (J). They have a sixth sense for people’s needs and get pleasure from helping them. They make others want to join them to make things happen. ENFJs are quick to show their appreciation to others and are generally well liked. Because they’re so enthusiastic and skilled verbally, they’re often encouraged to take leadership positions.

ENTP: Robin Hood

In the animated Disney film “Robin Hood,” the characters are all animals. Robin, cast as a fox, is an ENTP. He heads a band of outlaws who help the poor people of Nottingham. The village has been reduced to poverty by evil Prince John’s unfair taxation. With the help of his band, Robin Hood disguises himself as a beggar and steals Prince John’s loot to give back to the villagers. After many hair-raising adventures, he is reunited with his childhood sweetheart Maid Marian and they go off to live happily ever after.

ENTPs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). Robin Hood is a true ENTP, called the “Explorer” type. ENTPs are always involved in activities that make themselves and others happy. They jump from one challenge to another, often getting more enthusiastic about thinking up new projects than finishing old ones. Their ability to see the big picture is what motivates their creativity. No matter where they are, they have ideas about how things can be improved. Sometimes they seem almost clairvoyant.

ENFP: Ariel

ENFP Ariel, Disney’s main character in “The Little Mermaid,” is a strong, determined girl who lives in an underwater kingdom. The 16-year-old mermaid spends most of her time outside the palace walls singing, daydreaming, and sharing adventures with her best friends, a guppy and a crab. She falls in love with Prince Eric, a human, but she has to suffer many trials and tribulations before her father, King Triton, transforms her into human form so she can live happily ever after with her true love.

ENFPs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). They are gracious and tolerant types, able to identify with the thoughts and feelings of others. Adventurous ENFPs are always open to new experiences. They get special pleasure from traveling to distant places. It gives them the chance to meet interesting people in other cultures. With their congenial, open personalities, they sometimes go too far with their enthusiasm and suffer through periods of confusion. They need a friend to help pull them through.

ESTP: Dodger

ESTP Dodger, from the Disney movie “Oliver and Company,” is a street-smart Jack Russell Terrier. Appointed as the leader of Fagin’s dog gang of thieves, Dodger is witty, confident, good-hearted and cool. The little dog is clever and crafty and always knows how to get out of scrapes. As Oliver’s best friend, he says he doesn’t eat cats because of “too much fur.”

ESTPs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). ESTPs are quick-thinking and action-oriented. As outgoing, lively, and entertaining types, they can be found wherever the action is. They’re at their best dealing with situations that call for a no-nonsense approach. They’re direct with their comments, mincing no words. They also aren’t afraid of taking risks. They’re willing to play for high stakes in the hope of reward.

ESFJ: Snow White

The main character in Disney’s animated movie “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” is a beautiful young princess living with an evil stepmother. Snow White, an ESFJ, is so innocent that she can see no evil in the world. This makes her a target for her jealous stepmother, who plots to kill her with a poisoned apple. Only the kiss of a handsome prince is able to wake her from a “sleeping death.”

ESFJs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), and judging (J). Snow White shows the nurturing side of the ESFJ personality as she looks after the Seven Dwarves in their forest home. At their best, ESFJs are good at taking care of others and meeting their needs. They are congenial, loyal and responsible, placing a high value on harmony. They need concrete priorities in their lives that are clear and practical.

ESFP: Timon

Timon is the carefree meerkat in “The Lion Kingdom.” An ESFP with a fun-loving attitude, he spends lazy days with his best friend Pumbaa. When Simba the lion cub comes along, they welcome him. Later, when Simba decides to challenge his evil Uncle Scar, Timon shows what friendship means and helps rescue Simba. Timon is a good friend.

ESFPs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). They are outgoing, fun-loving types drawn to the company of others. Because of their positive attitude, they’re usually well liked. They’re helpful and are generous with their resources. In fact, they’d rather give than receive. They feel self-conscious when praised too much or singled out for favorable attention. ESFPs notice everything, picking up subtleties that escape others. Downturns in luck shouldn’t be taken too seriously, they believe.

ESTJ: Woody

In Disney’s animated film “Toy Story,” Woody is a vintage cowboy doll, the favorite toy of a boy named Andy. An ESTJ, Woody is a determined character who tries to keep others on his side. Still, he has a lot of doubt and sadness. He hides feelings from friends so he’ll seem brave, but he’s not afraid to confront them sometimes.

ESTJs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), and judging (J). They are natural organizers. They’re dependable, practical and develop action plans based on logic and experience. Then they roll up their sleeves to pitch in. They keep track of progress to make sure everything is done right. ESTJs are at their best solving concrete problems. Abstract thinking is difficult for them. From their point of view, it’s often pointless.

Part 1 of this two-part series, Extraverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types, appears in an earlier blog.

INFJ Meets INTJ

November 13, 2015/6 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

INFJs (introverted, intuitive, feeling and judging) and INTJs (introverted, intuitive, thinking and judging) are suited to each other in many ways. Both are independent and guided by their intuition. However, INFJs are more tactful about insisting on their autonomy. INTJs can be confrontational. Sometimes they’re so confident that they seem argumentative. INFJs aren’t comfortable with this. When an INTJ seems to be picking an argument, an INFJ friend can be surprised and hurt, even though this is rarely the INTJ’s intention.

At Work

Like INFJs, INTJs are organizers. As a result they often rise to leadership positions. Blessed with strong intuition, both types are good at seeing the big picture and solving problems.

They’re effective workers because they’re skilled at planning projects and carrying them out efficiently. They don’t walk away and leave the details to others. The main difference is that INFJs are more content to work in the background, while INTJs want to be sure they get credit for their efforts. INFJs cooperate with others more easily and avoid conflicts.

In Love

When an INFJ and INTJ fall in love, they want to include each other in every aspect of their lives. Both express their affection more by what they do than by what they say. They’re cautious about discussing their deep feelings for fear of rejection. INTJs are likely to purchase expensive gifts for their partners. The INTJ man in love with a woman who enjoys jewelry may buy her an expensive ring. The INTJ woman involved with a man who’s into winter sports may buy him cross-country skis.

If a relationship between an INFJ and INTJ starts to fall apart, the INTJ is likely to withdraw and remain silent about his or her feelings, even with the partner. INFJs are affected more deeply and deal with the crisis by looking for their own mistakes and shortcomings. Unlike the INTJ, they may need friends to help them overcome their grief before they can regroup their energies and move on.

Because of their need to be loved, INFJs are more likely than INTJs to get involved with partners who aren’t right for them. Even when they suspect this, they often continue the relationship because the intimacy and commitment are so important to them.

INTJs are more particular. Even before they find a partner, they know what they want and how they want a relationship to function. They don’t continue a relationship that doesn’t meet their needs. An INTJ who does a lot of camping and hiking looks for a partner with outdoor interests. No matter how attractive a bookish INFJ type may appear, the INTJ won’t feel drawn to them. An INTJ who makes a living as a concert violinist won’t be interested in an INFJ who dislikes classical music, no matter how appealing the person is otherwise.

At Home

Both INFJs and INTJs are inconsistent about how tidy they keep their homes. Sometimes their homes are neat and organized. Sometimes they’re not. Keeping the environment in order is probably more important to the INTJ than to the INFJ.

When the partners and children of INFJs complain that their house is a mess, they will try to tidy the place up to keep everyone happy. Their work areas may be cluttered, but, as with INTJs, their minds are extremely organized. INTJs may let some parts of the house be in disarray, but they usually keep their personal quarters organized. To both the INFJ and INTJ, their inner lives are the most important. Both types need solitude, but the INTJ is more demanding about this than the INFJ.

INTJs develop idealistic models of how people should lead their lives, applying them to family members as well as themselves. An INTJ father may decide what college would be best for his son and what his major should be, failing to consider the boy’s preferences and personality. If the father was a business major in college, he may discourage an athletic son who wants to study physical education. A mother who is a biologist may not understand a daughter who wants to be a musician. Music doesn’t fit her model of what a child should pursue in college.

As parents, INFJs are more broadminded than INTJs. They’re more tolerant of the types of playmates their children choose, what kind of extracurricular activities they’re involved in, and what they choose to study in college. To them, the important thing is how much effort their children put in and whether they’re developing into happy, productive human beings.

Leisure

INFJs and INTJs like purposeful leisure activities, but INTJs are more serious about it. When vacation time comes, the families or companions of INTJs shouldn’t look forward to unplanned, carefree days. Outings must have a goal and be scheduled. INTJs don’t feel comfortable lolling on the beach. They must be scuba diving, taking pictures, or collecting shells. INFJs are also more comfortable if their leisure activities have purpose, but they’re not as goal-directed. Planned activities are mostly an excuse to have fun.

The dedication of INTJs to specific sports or seasonal pursuits can be daunting to INFJs. Perhaps an INTJ plays tennis three times a week in the summer, then goes cross-country skiing three times a week in the winter. Most INTJs like to keep their bodies in shape. In contrast, INFJs give more importance to having fun with others. They like sharing hobbies and outdoor activities with close friends. In the company of others, they don’t necessarily talk a lot, but they enjoy easy, informal exchanges connected with what they’re doing.

INTJs and INFJs are able to enjoy each other if the INTJ is accepting of the INFJs’ enthusiasm and open display of feelings, and the INFJ is patient with the INTJ’s reserved, competitive tendencies.

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INFJ Meets ISTP

September 8, 2015/8 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

It’s obvious looking at the letters I-N-F-J and I-S-T-P that these two Myers-Briggs personality types are very different. The only trait they have in common is their introversion. Both types enjoy privacy. They find meaning not from superficial experiences but from their contemplation of them.

Sensing vs. Intuition

Because ISTPs rely on their sensing preference more than their intuition, they are driven to understand how things work. They usually have good eye-hand coordination, which makes them skilled at fixing things. They use their minds for practical matters and think problems through while working on them. Theories don’t interest them unless they can be put to practical use.

In contrast, INFJs aren’t mechanically minded. They get impatient with details and prefer to head straight to outcomes. The ISTP can be a big help to the INFJ who doesn’t want to bother with, say, taking apart a toaster to see why it’s not working. If the problem is a blown fuse, that may occur to the INFJ intuitively while the ISTP works his or her way to the solution through logic. ISTPs are likely to examine the parts of the toaster before checking the fusebox. The two types have complementary strengths.

When an ISTP and INFJ collect information to make a big decision, such as what car to buy, their sensing and intuitive functions may collide. The ISTP may not be satisfied until all aspects of a model are checked out and the vehicle is examined by a mechanic. The INFJ is more likely to base his or her decision on how the engine runs and if the car feels good to drive. The ISTP’s private opinion is that the INFJ rushes to conclusions without taking enough precautions. The INFJ thinks the ISTP is too fussy about details.

Thinking vs. Feeling

When an ISTP-INFJ relationship runs aground, it’s usually because of thinking-feeling conflicts. ISTPs make decisions based on facts rather than feelings and values. This impersonal approach gives them a tendency to ignore the effects of their actions on others. They may not even be clear about their own feelings. INFJs’ emotions are more likely to influence their decisions, although they do examine the facts. Because of this difference, the ISTP can hurt the INFJ’s feelings without meaning to. The INFJ can get on the ISTP’s nerves with his or her emotional reactions.

Perceiving vs. Judging

Because of their perceiving preference, ISTPs don’t worry much about deadlines and usually finish jobs just under the wire. They postpone starting projects and then rush to finish them on time. They’re often late for appointments. In contrast, INFJs work on a schedule, make lists, and make sure to meet their deadlines with time to spare. They plan projects. They don’t just jump in. In this arena, too, the INFJ and ISTP can get on each other’s nerves.

Making the Relationship Work

It takes effort and patience to make an ISTP-INFJ relationship work. The two must respect each other’s methods of processing information. The ISTP should try to understand the INFJ’s need for emotional support. Often this requires that the INFJ explain his or her needs to the ISTP and make suggestions for meeting them. INFJs shouldn’t expect ISTPs to be their sole source of emotional support. They need to cultivate a few friends who can empathize with their feelings and give them support.

As close friends, INFJs and ISTPs enjoy sharing experiences quietly, away from crowds. They’re most at ease when they’re camping, listening to music, or watching a documentary. Words aren’t necessary. The shared experience is enough.

The INFJ appreciates the ISTP’s ability to enjoy the details of life without over-thinking. ISTPs have a matter-of-fact, uncomplicated way of viewing the world. This can be a relief to the complex INFJ for whom very little is easy. Often the ISTP has practical solutions to the small problems of life: how to replace a bicycle chain, determining what’s causing the funny noise in the car engine, or figuring out what’s killing the roses in the yard.

How Myers-Briggs INFJ Scores Can Change

August 30, 2015/5 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

The Myers-Briggs scores of INFJs can change over the years, sometimes dramatically. Twelve-year-old INFJs who never turn their homework in when it’s due can, by age 17, become academic achievers. That’s because the childhood years of INFJs are devoted to developing imagination and creativity. They daydream, have just one or two friends, and share their make-believe world with only one or two trusted adults. Between ages 6 and 12, their introverted function occupies the main stage.

In their teen years, INFJs become more extraverted, getting good grades and excelling at sports, acting, or other extracurricular activities. They become conscious of their appearance and want to dress attractively. They take on added responsibility, often holding down part-time jobs. At the same time, being INFJs, they always feel a little out-of-step with their peers. They know they’re different and tend to think that something must be wrong with them.

As teenagers, their feeling preference turns their attention to causes such as animal welfare, human rights, and so on. They become more aware of ways they can help others. They may get so involved in these activities that they have little time for themselves—quite a contrast to the reclusive children they were between ages 6 and 12.

From ages 20 to the mid-thirties, socially approved ambitions take hold. INFJs look for ways to become autonomous, run their own lives, and succeed at their jobs. They learn to be smooth and accomplished in many settings, even though inside they may still feel unsure of themselves.

Many INFJs decide in early adulthood that they were too submissive in their earlier years. The INFJ becomes assertive and sometimes rebellious. Family and friends may be puzzled by the change. What happened to the quiet, accommodating INFJ they used to know?

At the same time, INFJs start to tap into their sensing abilities and put them to work. In their early twenties, they may learn to play the guitar, take up oil painting, or collect antiques. INFJs pursue these new interests with enthusiasm, attentive to the smallest detail. Unlike their former tendency toward introversion, the company of others becomes desirable in their quest for new interests.

The departure from the ingrained INFJ style serves their overall development well. With time and maturity, the fully evolved person should be proficient in all eight personality functions.

Readers may get the impression that it’s best to develop all the functions equally. According to Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst who developed personality theory, it doesn’t work this way. If a person dedicates a period of his or her life to, say, sensing and intuition simultaneously, neither function will get the attention and energy needed to become fully developed. The same is true of the other three trait pairs. One of each pair of functions must be dominant at any given time to produce a stable, reliable personality.

The objective of personal development in terms of the Myers-Briggs theory is to have access to each of the mental functions when its use is appropriate. By being able to use the less-preferred functions when they are needed, the person brings more balance to his or her life.

Prevalence of INFJs in the General Population

August 24, 2015/2 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

According to researchers, the INFJ Myers-Briggs type occurs in about 1% of the population—the lowest prevalence of any type. Studies vary regarding the exact percentages of the 16 types, but INFJs always walk away with the prize for the most rare.

The downside of being an INFJ is that there are few people out there with whom they can relate deeply. Also, they don’t fit into social norms because their qualities are unusual and, to some people, unsettling. INFJs can size up others quickly and those who don’t like to be sized up are likely to avoid them. Friends and colleagues find many INFJs almost clairvoyant.

The upside for INFJs is that they have gifts not common in other types. This makes them valued as leaders, workers, and friends. They also have rich interior lives.

In work settings, INFJs collaborate well with the second rarest type, ENTJs—also known as the CEO type. While ENTJs prefer the footlights, INFJs are happy to operate behind the scenes. Both types are intuitive; when they combine their insights they make a formidable team. INFJs can soften the edges of ENTJs, who prefer logic and rationality and are often insensitive to the feelings of others. The quiet, tactful INFJ can steer the ENTJ away from decisions that will alienate colleagues. Since the two share a Judging preference, the two types can forge productive partnerships and get a lot done.

At the other end of the scale are the three most prevalent types, shown in dark green: the ISTJ, ESFJ, and ISFJ. Each constitutes between 11% and 14% of the general population, for a total of over 35%. The ISTJ, sometimes called the Inspector, is reliable, works conscientiously, and follows rules and regulations. INFJs and ISTJs often have trouble understanding each other, probably because they have neither intuition nor feeling in common. ESFJs, called Harmonizers, are friendly facilitators. ISFJs, called Protectors, live to serve others often at the expense of their own interests. The ESFJs and ISFJs are liked and admired by most people.

INFJs—Smile!

August 9, 2015/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

On days when it seems hard to be an INFJ, it’s worth looking at some of the qualities that come with this Myers-Briggs personality type. We may be only 1 percent of the population, but we have a lot of work to do in the world.

1. Actively contribute to the welfare of others.

2. Are patient and gentle with others but often hard on ourselves.

3. Lead others quietly; not imposing our will but influencing them behind the scenes.

4. Have an intuitive understanding of the motives and acts of others.

5. Charm people with our intelligence, warmth and insight.

6. Read other people’s emotions often before they’re aware of them.

7. Nurture and protect people, animals, and the environment.

8. Relate to others with compassion, always willing to lend a hand.

9. Listen to people attentively; observe their body language.

10. Value close relationships and nurture them.

11. Seek intimate relationships as a way to connect with the world and grow.

12. Expect relationships to evolve, not remain static.

13. Are often quiet in groups, focusing on what’s being said.

14. Avoid group activities because socializing drains our energy.

15. Look for meaning and purpose in life.

16. Live with integrity, always attuned to our value systems.

17. Behave in a manner consistent in our ethical positions

18. Can quickly separate the authentic from the fake.

19. Are more interested in tomorrow’s possibilities than today’s realities.

20. Are prepared to redefine our values as we grow and mature.

21. When being creative, feel in harmony with the universe.

22. Never rest on our laurels; look forward to the next creative process.

23. While often quiet and visionary, are also productive.

24. Focus on the big picture rather than the details of life.

25. Trust our intuitive judgments over other people’s opinions.

26. Avoid conflict unless the issue is important.

27. Think and problem-solve logically and effectively.

28. Think in images much of the time.

29. Are visionary, almost clairvoyant about the future.

30. Express our complex feelings and ideas eloquently.

31. Are spontaneous and witty when relaxed; find the humor in everyday life.

32. When overburdened, can easily burn out and slip into depression.

33. Are considered colorful, sometimes eccentric, by friends and acquaintances.

34. Often show a mischievous, daring side.

35. Grow up wiser than one would expect for our age.

36. As perfectionists, worry about failing to meet our full potential.

37. Tend to be private and guarded about our personal sensitivities.

INFJ Meets Sensing Type—A Relationship Challenge

August 3, 2015/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

INFJs trying to live peacefully in this world face a major challenge in their relationships with the Myers-Briggs sensing type. Unlike INFJs, sensors are not intuitive (N). They’re puzzled by people who rely on hunches rather than hard facts to steer their way through life. Sensing types believe in concrete evidence. INFJs depend on insights. They just know. For this reason, the two types often find themselves at cross-purposes.

It isn’t so difficult for INFJs to relate to their opposites on the other three Myers-Briggs scales: extraversion/introversion, thinking/feeling, and perceiving/judging. Like INFJs, extraverts need some solitude, too. It’s just that they need much less. Thinkers may be mostly logical in their approach to life, but they’re not without feeling. Perceivers are capable of adopting some judging habits when it’s to their advantage. If they antagonize enough people with their tardiness, for example, they may cultivate the habit of punctuality.

Examples

The INFJ looking for a car with a sensing partner may dread the shopping experience. He or she is prepared for a long, tiresome search. Alone, many INFJs could purchase a car in a single morning. They’d do research online the day before, figure out what automobile would be the best buy, and then go out and look for a dealer that has one.

Not sensors. They want to collect lots of information and then go out and look at lots of cars. Even when their brains are full of specs and prices, it may be hard for them to choose. However, pressuring a sensing type into a hasty decision tends to come with consequences when he or she later ponders its wisdom. (“Are you sure the sticker said 27 mpg?” “Do you think we could have gotten a better interest rate?”)

Another problem is that INFJs lose things a lot. Unlike sensing types, they have more engaging things to think about. With their minds elsewhere while checking out at the supermarket, they leave their keys at the counter. When they reach the car, they panic. If they’d taken a sensing partner shopping with them, this probably wouldn’t have happened. The sensor would see the keys on the counter, pick them up, and roll his or her eyes.

INFJs and sensors also handle social situations differently. After a party, sensing types remember who was there and what they were wearing. These details go right past the INFJ. On the way home in the car, the sensor asks, “Did you notice Fred’s orange tie? It was horrible!” The INFJ has no memory of Fred’s tie. He or she says, “Do you think Fred’s having trouble at home? His wife wasn’t there and he seemed tense.” The sensor wonders how the partner could have jumped to that conclusion from across the room.

Earth to INFJ

Sensing types are earthbound. They’re systematic, follow instructions, and collect information before making big decisions. INFJs are creative and free-wheeling. INFJs with sensing partners are in for a rough ride if they don’t respect their personality differences. Neither type is being willful or obstinate. They are simply using their tried and true methods for viewing the world.

INFJ Meets ENFP

July 31, 2015/0 Comments/in INFJ, Myers-Briggs Personality Types, Your Secret Self /by beaconadmin

INFJs are generally attracted to energetic, friendly ENFPs. ENFPs understand people and connect with them easily. They read the motives and behaviors of others with almost psychic accuracy.

Life is fun with ENFPs, who never tire of developing new interests. They’re at their best in situations that are fluid and changing. Even in their day-to-day activities they look for new ways of doing things.

Similarities and Differences

INFJs and ENFPs are similar in their curiosity and enthusiasm, but the INFJ is less demonstrative. If the two spend much time together, the INFJ may weary of the ENFP’s inexhaustible sociability and want some solitude. Even away from crowds, INFJs can find the energy of ENFPs demanding. Once ENFPs get excited about something, it’s all they can talk about. INFJs aren’t big on extended conversations.

Another difference between them concerns punctuality. The INFJ is rarely tardy and gets things done when promised. ENFPs have a tendency to be late. They lose track of time, because they underestimate how long it will take to finish what they’re doing. They miss deadlines or are slow in meeting their commitments. This happy-go-lucky attitude often annoys INFJs, who consider it irresponsible. ENFPs, on the other hand, may consider INFJs clock-watchers.

Romance

Whether male or female, ENFPs can be seductive. They know how to appeal to the opposite sex and make themselves desirable. Sometimes they go too far in their quest for affection, making the INFJ feel pressured. When this causes the INFJ to back off, the ENFP is likely to get anxious and become even more needy.

A discussion about the need for boundaries may help ease the ENFP’s jittery response to a partner’s withdrawal. They both need to understand that extraverts are energized by connection with others while introverts get tired of it and seek solitude. It’s nothing personal.

Family Life

INFJs who marry ENFPs find that they’re enjoyable to live with. They also make good parents. They know how to turn family chores into enjoyable activities. If there’s a task that’s boring, they’ll find a way to make it interesting. They infuse family life with creativity and avoid letting their home get too structured, with no room for imagination. When the free-wheeling goes too far, however, the INFJ may complain that things are getting out of control.

ENFPs may consider themselves organized in their home life, but INFJ partners can take issue with this. The ENFPs’ desire to be open to new possibilities is usually stronger than their need to keep things neat and tidy. When they fix meals, the kitchen is likely to be a mess. Their offices or dens are cluttered. There’s always something more interesting to do than clean up.

Outside the Home

ENFPs need work that offers more than a paycheck. They must feel fulfilled and know they’re making a worthwhile contribution. Because of their wide-ranging interests, it’s common for them to change career tracks more than once. Partly this is due to their success at landing jobs for which they’re not fully qualified. If the family needs the income, INFJs married to ENFPs may get frustrated by their partners’ tendency to quit jobs or get fired.

Common Ground

The need to look after the welfare of others is shared by the INFJ and ENFP. They’re champions of causes. They promote services that help people, animals, and the environment. When they’re given a leadership role, they ask for advice from people around them. They’re generous with their praise to friends and co-workers who have helped them. They make good partners.

Famous Examples

Mark Twain was an ENFP, famous for his engaging stories. Andrew Carnegie said of him, “The public knows only one side of Mark Twain: the amusing part. Little do they suspect that he was a man of strong convictions on political and social questions and a moralist of no mean order.”

Like many ENFPs, Mark Twain had insights that were almost clairvoyant. He once said, “I came in with Halley’s Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year and I expect to go out with it.” Indeed, he died of a heart attack on April 21, 1910, one day after the comet’s closest pass by the Earth.

mother-teresa

Like most INFJs, Mother Teresa was a risk taker, able to enter dangerous situations with courage and insight. She was independent and spirited, willing to explore new roles and ideas. True to her type, Mother Teresa was articulate in expressing her beliefs and putting them into action. She had visions of a world without poverty and took steps to make that a reality.