How to Catch the Woman of Your Dreams

To appeal to an attractive woman, there are a number of do’s and don’ts. There’s a lot more than initial appeal to maintaining a relationship, but first you have to attract her. Your appearance and demeanor are at the top of the list. You should look clean and well-groomed and act in a civilized gentlemanly manner. You should appear to be more interested in her than in yourself, show a sense of humor, and demonstrate that while she’s important to you, you have an interesting life of your own. Below are a  number of suggestions.

Good grooming. Dress like a man, not a boy. A jacket and tie are preferable to a t-shirt with a beer slogan, but dress appropriately for the place and occasion. Practice good hygiene. Make sure your nails are clean and you’ve shaved. Shampoo your hair so it’s shiny and floppy, not greasy and stiff. Wear deodorant. Forget the male perfumes. More women find them offensive than not. If you wear leather shoes, polish them. Look like you stepped out of GQ, not Mechanics Illustrated.

Gentlemanly behavior. Be polite, almost formal at first. Introduce yourself and tell her you’re pleased to meet her. Offer to buy her a drink. Listen to her conversation attentively. Don’t let your attention wander; keep your eyes on her face. Don’t glance at the TV, even if the Super Bowl is on. Don’t look at other women. And don’t play with your phone.

Interesting conversation. Try exploring her interests for topics of conversation. What does she like to do in her spare time. Is she interested in art, music, sports? Follow her lead and develop the topic with intelligent comments of your own. This is a good way to find out if you have some interests in common.

Playfulness. Laugh when she says something funny. Show her that you appreciate a good sense of humor. Tell stories of your own life, keeping them short and interesting. Don’t brag.

Body language. Keep your body language open and relaxed. Never cross your arms or legs. Smile at her often. Speak in a gentle, masculine voice, never becoming shrill or loud. Turn toward her as you talk, not blocking her off with an arm between you.

Show her that you find her attractive. Compliment her on her dress, hair, or other aspect of her appearance without being overly forward. Let her know that you appreciate her conversation.

Show her that you have a life of your own. Don’t be too pushy or needy. Indicate that you’d like to spend more time with her, but also make it clear that you have a busy life of your own.

Biggest Attraction Killers

Not holding eye contact, poor attention span. If you allow your attention to wander to other people or the scene around you, you’re sending the message that you’re not that interested in her and probably never will be.

Too much sexual intent. If your conversation has too much sexual content or you’re making passes at her, you’ll scare her off. Stay away from sexy topics for the time being, until the relationship has ripened to the point where it’s clearly safe.

Bragging and talking too much. Don’t monopolize the conversation talking about yourself or your interests. Instead, try to draw her out and listen attentively to what she has to say.

Discussing risky topics. Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, or children. Stay away from sex. It’ s a turnoff too early in the conversation. Don’t discuss politics or religion. If you’re a Democrat and she’s a Republican, that could be enough for her to back away.

Getting drunk. Don’t try to get acquainted with someone when you’re drunk or well on your way. If you’ve already had something to drink when you meet her, slow down or stop. Order a Perrier. You don’t need to stop her from drinking; just watch your own.

Bad hygiene. Bad breath, body odor, dirty fingernails, or soiled clothes are immediate turn-offs for most women. Be sure you’re clean and you smell only of soap when you leave home. A clean, well-groomed man is a turn-on for most women.

Getting overeager. Keep the conversation general at first. Don’t start by propositioning a woman or laying out plans for future dates. When you compliment her, don’t overdo it. Keep your remarks subtle.

Not being present. If you’re not enjoying the present moment, it will be clear to a woman. Make your interest apparent but subtle. Show her that you take pleasure in her company, that her presence lifts your spirits. Make it clear that you’re not bored.

First impressions are important. They’re the first steps in forming a relationship, but you can’t slack off. What you did successfully at the first meeting must become a habit if you want the connection to last.

How To Catch the Man of Your Dreams

Looking for a man? Sitting at home wishing for a dream partner, doing the same old routines and not bettering yourself, won’t cut it. You need to get involved in social action, take classes, attend sporting events, etc.—go to places where men collect.

Below are twenty rules to help in your search.

  1. Be yourself, whereever you go. Don’t try to be cute and sassy if you’re not. Don’t try to be a femme fatale. Just be yourself.
  2. Get active in projects that make you a better person—political action, art, dancing class, learning an instrument, etc. You’ll be more interesting to men.
  3. Know your core values in life. Be selective about the men you’re interested in. If you don’t have similar values, a relationship won’t last.
  4. Ask a friend to find him. Your friend knows you best and will probably pick someone who’s suitable for you.
  5. Go on internet dating sites. True, there are a lot of misfits out there, but there are also a lot of good men looking for the same things you are. If you’re selective, you’re not risking much.
  6. Don’t be afraid to go on a number of dates. Keep them brief initially. Trial and error is how we learn, and that’s true of dating, as well.
  7. Don’t make fixed judgments about your first date. The first time out is nerve-wracking for many men, and they aren’t at their best. Give him more than one chance.
  8. Concentrate on presenting yourself agreeably. Be your most likeable self. Dress and speak well.
  9. Do a makeover. There’s no need for drastic changes. Just do your hair and makeup carefully and pick out an outfit that’s a blend of conservative and sexy.
  10. Be adventurous but not reckless. An adventurous outlook will be exciting to him. A reckless one might turn him off.
  11. Review past relationships for where you went wrong, and take corrective action in the next one.
  12. Be flirtatious without coming on too strong. Flirty moves will turn him on. Being brazen and overly forward will make him nervous.
  13. Be who you are right away. Don’t put up a false front because you think It will attract a man. Be authentic from the start.
  14. Take breaks between dates. Making a man pursue you and giving him the impression that you’re a busy woman are good tactics for attracting him.
  15. Don’t be afraid to make the first move. Your dream man may be afraid of rejection. Fill the gap that separates you, but be subtle about it.
  16. Be willing to call it quits. If, after several dates, you’re convinced that the relationship is a bad fit, don’t invest any more time in it. The same applies when it’s clear that a man isn’t ready for a committed partner.
  17. Follow your gut feeling. Forget lists and consultations with others. Your gut feeling about a man is probably right.
  18. Give your all. Once you decide that a man is a good partner for you, give him all your love. No flirting with other men or playing hard to get.
  19. Make a decision. If you’ve never felt this way about anyone before, you know that the man may be your soulmate.
  20. Hold your man. Continue to look your best and act like a well-adjusted grownup while still being true to yourself.

Coming soon: How to Catch the Woman of Your Dreams