Skater’s Holiday

It’s the Christmas holidays, and the CEO of Ross Laboratories has announced that all employees will report for work the first Saturday of the New Year. It has something to do with snow days the previous December. Since the Ross payroll consists of hardworking Midwesterners who do what they’re told, few employees grumble. I, on […]

I Play the Accordion for Cows

A while back, I watched a YouTube video of a man playing his piano accordion on a vacant country road out West. I was interested because I, too, play the accordion. He sang a cowboy song. After the first few bars, cattle started emerging from the woods one by one, drawn by the music. After […]

A Camel—The Perfect Pet

Opening the Gainesville Sun one Sunday morning, I glance at the “Pets for Sale” section. Not that I need any more pets. To my amazement, I find that someone is selling a female camel for $3200. Right here in town! How exciting! Let’s see, I have a perfect place for a camel in my side yard.

My Bucket List—A Mercedes-Benz

When my eight-fourth birthday arrived, I realized that I’d already done all the things on my bucket list. I’d bought a truck and motor scooter. A few years earlier, I went on my first cruise, traveling to Alaska alone on a National Geographic nature ship. Later, I took another cruise on the same ship to […]

Caught Skinny-Dipping

For exercise, I swim in a small pool in my back yard. My privacy is protected by a six-foot wood fence around the yard. Before stripping off my clothes and jumping in water, I place a bedside clock on the deck to keep track of my swim time.

Night-Eating Syndrome

I’ve got night-eating syndrome, and it baffles me.

The Case for the Oxford Comma

The Oxford comma, also called the “serial comma” or “Harvard comma,” is the final comma in a series of words or phrases. It sometimes appears after the second to last item—as in “We had sandwiches, chips, and soda for lunch.” But often it’s omitted—as in “We had sandwiches, chips and soda for lunch.”

Which Are Better—Dogs or Cats?

According to many people, dogs are the ideal companion animals—better than cats, that’s for sure. They find cats irritating. Other people favor cats. The opposing camps maintain that the two species are like day and night.

Donald Trump’s Gift to American Women

Writing about Donald Trump, a female correspondent for US News wrote, “I can’t but feel gratitude for one unintended consequence of his rise to the top of the Republican ticket: It has sparked a national conversation about sexual violence that includes some genuine feminist perspectives.”

Who Was Donald Trump’s Mother?

Donald Trump’s mother, Mary Anne MacLeod, was born in 1912 to Scottish parents living in a remote village on the Outer Hebrides Islan

Airboats—An Abomination

Air boats are deafening. The noise is an abomination. As the motors roar across the water, the sound carries for miles. Birds scatter. The sound is enough to blight your vacation.