A man feels good when he must work hard to be with a woman. It’s almost a law of nature. Watch nature specials! Notice how hard male animals work to get the approval of females.
Bower birds are a dramatic example. The male builds a large nest and adorns it with acorns and other flora. The female sits and watches as he shows off his skill. Then, if she’s interested, she gives him a signal. If not, she walks away, leaving her suitor disappointed after all his effort. The male human being isn’t that much different. He makes an effort to be successful and is disappointed when he fails.
Men love a challenge. A smart woman provides it. In the animal world, stallions often fight each other for the favors of a filly. The fighting looks like a deadly challenge, but more often it’s not mortally serious. The loser simply walks away, acknowledging defeat and looking dejected.
A man considers it his job to get a woman’s attention, not the other way around. The man who sees an attractive woman flying solo at a club will think about his chances of meeting her. Then, knowing that there’s only the slimmest chance that she’ll make the first move, he sidles over a few seats at the bar and prepares to construct his male bower.
Men need the chance to pursue a woman. For the woman to introduce herself is a bit too easy. Did he really want her that much? He’s not sure. A his determination strengthens, he must develop a strategy. This makes the prize more precious in his eyes.
If a man who’s been turned down shows anger, that’s a sign of interest. If a woman simply brushes a man off quietly, tactfully and without fuss, he’ll know that the deal is off. He won’t be happy about it, but he won’t be seething with anger. A man who has spent a little time with the woman and had the flames fanned is another story. He’ll feel rebuffed, deprived of a toy he very much wanted. He experiences a sense of loss and anger.
A man who has sex with a woman on the first date has no emotional reason to come back. Sex with a desirable woman is something to be worked for. If it’s achieved too easily, the prize may lose some of its fascination. Unless the liaison has proved be particularly compelling, the man may find his catch disappointing. After all, he got what he wanted, didn’t he?
Affirmations for Women
- l am complete without a man.
The woman who feels complete and confident in herself is like a magnet in a room. She radiates composure and attracts others as an interesting person to know.
- I am a stable, happy, functional woman who can live without a man.
This is a woman who can walk into a restaurant and indicate that she wants a table for one without flinching. Or she can go out on the town with female friends and not notice the males watching them as the women laugh and enjoy each other.
- Men are most interested in me when I am being myself.
Wherever she goes, she’s the same person. She has no demure act, no sophisticated laugh that she pulls out for special occasions. Her good humor is always the same, uplifting and infectious.
- When I’m not with a man, I have other interesting things to think about and do.
This is the truth. She may be a pilot, gourmet cook, or speaker of foreign languages. It’s obvious to those who know her that she’s self-confident and has plenty of things to occupy her life without worrying about men.
- Any man who talks to me knows I am happy and busy.
This woman lacks nothing and holds her head high. Everything she talks about suggests her busy, fulfilled life.
- Men are exciting, but I can take them or leave them.
When she meets a particularly attractive man, he’ll spark her interest. It’s obvious in her expression. Her attention is engaged. However, if he leaves unexpectedly, she moves on with ease, as if to say, “Oh, well, that’s how it goes sometimes.”
- A man is lucky to find a bright, creative, talented woman like me.
This woman knows her worth, although she is far from arrogant about it. Her appreciation of her own gifts is apparent in her sparkling conversation and laughter.
- Every day, I make the effort to look my best.
Even at home for the day, when she has no one to please but herself, she brushes her teeth, showers, and wears clean clothes of appealing colors. If she meets no one during the day, at least she has pleased herself.
- I wear striking clothes and jewelry that suit me.
A sky blue shirt brings out the blue in her eyes. A turquoise necklace and matching earrings may provide an eye-catching complement. The woman knows how to look striking even with simple clothes and jewelry.
- I dress to look sexy in an understated way.
This is just the way men work. Think of your own reactions toward men. Do women select the grungiest male at hand? Rarely. The same goes for men. A woman shows her legs to advantage. She is cautious about cleavage, but shows the outlines of her breasts and perhaps a glimpse of cleavage. These are subtle sexual flags.
- I smile often.
Frequent smiles are like welcome signals. They help overcome shyness in a man and give him an opening to talk to her. They make her less intimidating. Women get tired of hearing men telling them to smile. Nonetheless, it’s true that smiles enhance sexual attractiveness.
- I use makeup and clothes to play up my best features.
If the woman customarily wears makeup, she can outline her eyes, use a dab of eyeshadow and a touch of mascara, and touch up her eyebrows. She chooses clothes of colors that flatter her features. If she has strong, good-looking legs, she wears short skirts, shorts, or tights.
- I never leave the house without looking good.
A woman never knows when she’ll meet someone worth looking good for. Everything that adorns her body is just so—clothes, jewelry, skirt or tights, and shoes.
Following Nature—Playing Hard to Get
- I don’t chase men. I wait to be chased. I leave a man before he’s had enough.
The woman understands the magic of whetting a man’s appetite without completely satisfying it. There’s nothing more enticing than enjoying a taste of something delicious without getting your fill. The woman knows that, if a man is interested in her, she needn’t worry that he’ll go away. If he feels a strong attraction, he’ll continue pursuing her.
- Men make the first move to start telephone contact.
Men are used to looking for women and playing the waiting game. A woman should not give out her phone number freely. In this day and age, it’s too risky. She asks for his number and then calls him if she feels like it. Once on the phone, the woman shouldn’t prolong the conversation and leave the impression that she’s needy. She should be the one to leave first—on a friendly, promising note.
- It’s always the man who tries to prolong an encounter with me, not the other way around.
To men, the most attractive women are ones who are a little hard to get. No woman should tug at his sleeve, so to speak. She should tell him a breezy, friendly goodbye for the time being—before he does.
- I am sometimes quiet and mysterious.
Men get annoyed at chatterboxes. The woman should be quiet some of the time and let him guess what she’s thinking—where her mind is taking her. This gives her an aura of mystery and appeal.
Sex and Commitment
- l withhold sex long enough to make a man get to know me and fall in love with me.
The prize that’s too easy to get won’t be valued as much as the prize a man has to work for.
- Making a man wait for sex increases his desire for me and creates more passion when he finally makes love to me.
By making a man wait for sex, a woman raises intimacy to new heights. The man thinks about her during the day. He fantasizes what it would be like to have sex with her, if he’s that lucky.
- I release a man after we’ve had sex. I don’t cling to him.
Women are into “after-play” much more than men. It’s OK to savor a short period of intimacy after sex, but the woman should be aware that he may not need it as much as she. She should be ready to fall asleep—or get dressed and go on with her life.
- I don’t exploit the physical closeness of sex to gain emotional closeness, security, or assurances about the future.
“Tell me you love me” is a no-no in the early stages of physical intimacy. No woman should give a man the feeling that she’s closing in on him. He should be given the chance to speak the first words of love.
- I don’t use tricks or strategies to keep a man with me.
After a first-nighter, a woman shouldn’t offer to make breakfast for the man before he leaves for work. She shouldn’t even offer him a ride to work. The man needs to be given the first chance to reach out.
Think of yourself as a diamond bracelet in a jeweler’s window—sparkling and giving off shimmering beams of light. The diamond bracelet doesn’t have to talk or make any moves. It must simply be appealing at first—enough to engage the shopper’s interest. At the beginning, the man resembles the shopper. All a woman needs to do is engage his attention and attract him. After that, as the relationship becomes more solid, the woman will have plenty of time to reveal her true inner self. If this stands the test of time and she remains enamored of the man, the relationship will probably last.