To appeal to an attractive woman, there are a number of do’s and don’ts. There’s a lot more than initial appeal to maintaining a relationship, but first you have to attract her. Your appearance and demeanor are at the top of the list. You should look clean and well-groomed and act in a civilized gentlemanly manner. You should appear to be more interested in her than in yourself, show a sense of humor, and demonstrate that while she’s important to you, you have an interesting life of your own. Below are a number of suggestions.
Good grooming. Dress like a man, not a boy. A jacket and tie are preferable to a t-shirt with a beer slogan, but dress appropriately for the place and occasion. Practice good hygiene. Make sure your nails are clean and you’ve shaved. Shampoo your hair so it’s shiny and floppy, not greasy and stiff. Wear deodorant. Forget the male perfumes. More women find them offensive than not. If you wear leather shoes, polish them. Look like you stepped out of GQ, not Mechanics Illustrated.
Gentlemanly behavior. Be polite, almost formal at first. Introduce yourself and tell her you’re pleased to meet her. Offer to buy her a drink. Listen to her conversation attentively. Don’t let your attention wander; keep your eyes on her face. Don’t glance at the TV, even if the Super Bowl is on. Don’t look at other women. And don’t play with your phone.
Interesting conversation. Try exploring her interests for topics of conversation. What does she like to do in her spare time. Is she interested in art, music, sports? Follow her lead and develop the topic with intelligent comments of your own. This is a good way to find out if you have some interests in common.
Playfulness. Laugh when she says something funny. Show her that you appreciate a good sense of humor. Tell stories of your own life, keeping them short and interesting. Don’t brag.
Body language. Keep your body language open and relaxed. Never cross your arms or legs. Smile at her often. Speak in a gentle, masculine voice, never becoming shrill or loud. Turn toward her as you talk, not blocking her off with an arm between you.
Show her that you find her attractive. Compliment her on her dress, hair, or other aspect of her appearance without being overly forward. Let her know that you appreciate her conversation.
Show her that you have a life of your own. Don’t be too pushy or needy. Indicate that you’d like to spend more time with her, but also make it clear that you have a busy life of your own.
Biggest Attraction Killers
Not holding eye contact, poor attention span. If you allow your attention to wander to other people or the scene around you, you’re sending the message that you’re not that interested in her and probably never will be.
Too much sexual intent. If your conversation has too much sexual content or you’re making passes at her, you’ll scare her off. Stay away from sexy topics for the time being, until the relationship has ripened to the point where it’s clearly safe.
Bragging and talking too much. Don’t monopolize the conversation talking about yourself or your interests. Instead, try to draw her out and listen attentively to what she has to say.
Discussing risky topics. Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, or children. Stay away from sex. It’ s a turnoff too early in the conversation. Don’t discuss politics or religion. If you’re a Democrat and she’s a Republican, that could be enough for her to back away.
Getting drunk. Don’t try to get acquainted with someone when you’re drunk or well on your way. If you’ve already had something to drink when you meet her, slow down or stop. Order a Perrier. You don’t need to stop her from drinking; just watch your own.
Bad hygiene. Bad breath, body odor, dirty fingernails, or soiled clothes are immediate turn-offs for most women. Be sure you’re clean and you smell only of soap when you leave home. A clean, well-groomed man is a turn-on for most women.
Getting overeager. Keep the conversation general at first. Don’t start by propositioning a woman or laying out plans for future dates. When you compliment her, don’t overdo it. Keep your remarks subtle.
Not being present. If you’re not enjoying the present moment, it will be clear to a woman. Make your interest apparent but subtle. Show her that you take pleasure in her company, that her presence lifts your spirits. Make it clear that you’re not bored.
First impressions are important. They’re the first steps in forming a relationship, but you can’t slack off. What you did successfully at the first meeting must become a habit if you want the connection to last.