Extraverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types: Part 2 of a Two-Part Series

 

Why do we love Disney characters so much? What is it about their stories that touches our hearts?

We see reflections of own personalities in characters like Jiminy Cricket, Alice in Wonderland, Pocahontas, and even Merlin. If you know your Myers-Briggs personality type, maybe you can relate to some of them. This blog tells you about the extraverts (E) among Disney’s colorful animated characters

buzzlightyearentjENTJ: Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Lightyear, a toy space ranger in “Toy Story,” is known for his bravery and courage. ENTJ Buzz believes in following the rules. Though a great leader, he’s sometimes impulsive and demanding. He’s a skilled warrior in hand-to-hand combat and stays in peak physical condition. In “Toy Story 2,” Buzz leads a toy gang to rescue Woody, who has been captured by a greedy toy collector.

ENTJs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and judging (J). In real life, ENTJs are born leaders. Confident and outgoing, they have a need to run things. To them, life is full of people who can transform their visions into realities. To the ENTJ, the world is a treasure trove of possibilities, all of them within reach. They can be hard on people who fail to live up to their standards.

 

 

merlinenfjENFJ: Merlin

ENFJ Merlin, the wizard of Disney’s animated film “The Sword and the Stone,” is so wise that he can see into the future. He can enchant objects and people. As Merlin travels through time, he learns much about the past, present and future. His wisdom, with its depth and complexity, sometimes leaves others confused. Despite his brains, he can be absent-minded and clumsy.

ENFJs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and judging (J). They have a sixth sense for people’s needs and get pleasure from helping them. They make others want to join them to make things happen. ENFJs are quick to show their appreciation to others and are generally well liked. Because they’re so enthusiastic and skilled verbally, they’re often encouraged to take leadership positions.

 

 

robinhoodentpENTP: Robin Hood

In the animated Disney film “Robin Hood,” the characters are all animals. Robin, cast as a fox, is an ENTP. He heads a band of outlaws who help the poor people of Nottingham. The village has been reduced to poverty by evil Prince John’s unfair taxation. With the help of his band, Robin Hood disguises himself as a beggar and steals Prince John’s loot to give back to the villagers. After many hair-raising adventures, he is reunited with his childhood sweetheart Maid Marian and they go off to live happily ever after.

ENTPs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). Robin Hood is a true ENTP, called the “Explorer” type. ENTPs are always involved in activities that make themselves and others happy. They jump from one challenge to another, often getting more enthusiastic about thinking up new projects than finishing old ones. Their ability to see the big picture is what motivates their creativity. No matter where they are, they have ideas about how things can be improved. Sometimes they seem almost clairvoyant.

arielenfpENFP: Ariel

ENFP Ariel, Disney’s main character in “The Little Mermaid,” is a strong, determined girl who lives in an underwater kingdom. The 16-year-old mermaid spends most of her time outside the palace walls singing, daydreaming, and sharing adventures with her best friends, a guppy and a crab. She falls in love with Prince Eric, a human, but she has to suffer many trials and tribulations before her father, King Triton, transforms her into human form so she can live happily ever after with her true love.

ENFPs are extraverted (E), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). They are gracious and tolerant types, able to identify with the thoughts and feelings of others. Adventurous ENFPs are always open to new experiences. They get special pleasure from traveling to distant places. It gives them the chance to meet interesting people in other cultures. With their congenial, open personalities, they sometimes go too far with their enthusiasm and suffer through periods of confusion. They need a friend to help pull them through.

dodgerestpESTP: Dodger

ESTP Dodger, from the Disney movie “Oliver and Company,” is a street-smart Jack Russell Terrier. Appointed as the leader of Fagin’s dog gang of thieves, Dodger is witty, confident, good-hearted and cool. The little dog is clever and crafty and always knows how to get out of scrapes. As Oliver’s best friend, he says he doesn’t eat cats because of “too much fur.”

ESTPs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). ESTPs are quick-thinking and action-oriented. As outgoing, lively, and entertaining types, they can be found wherever the action is. They’re at their best dealing with situations that call for a no-nonsense approach. They’re direct with their comments, mincing no words. They also aren’t afraid of taking risks. They’re willing to play for high stakes in the hope of reward.

snowwhiteesfjESFJ: Snow White

The main character in Disney’s animated movie “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” is a beautiful young princess living with an evil stepmother. Snow White, an ESFJ, is so innocent that she can see no evil in the world. This makes her a target for her jealous stepmother, who plots to kill her with a poisoned apple. Only the kiss of a handsome prince is able to wake her from a “sleeping death.”

ESFJs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), and judging (J). Snow White shows the nurturing side of the ESFJ personality as she looks after the Seven Dwarves in their forest home. At their best, ESFJs are good at taking care of others and meeting their needs. They are congenial, loyal and responsible, placing a high value on harmony. They need concrete priorities in their lives that are clear and practical.

timonesfpESFP: Timon

Timon is the carefree meerkat in “The Lion Kingdom.” An ESFP with a fun-loving attitude, he spends lazy days with his best friend Pumbaa. When Simba the lion cub comes along, they welcome him. Later, when Simba decides to challenge his evil Uncle Scar, Timon shows what friendship means and helps rescue Simba. Timon is a good friend.

ESFPs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). They are outgoing, fun-loving types drawn to the company of others. Because of their positive attitude, they’re usually well liked. They’re helpful and are generous with their resources. In fact, they’d rather give than receive. They feel self-conscious when praised too much or singled out for favorable attention. ESFPs notice everything, picking up subtleties that escape others. Downturns in luck shouldn’t be taken too seriously, they believe.

woodyestjESTJ: Woody

In Disney’s animated film “Toy Story,” Woody is a vintage cowboy doll, the favorite toy of a boy named Andy. An ESTJ, Woody is a determined character who tries to keep others on his side. Still, he has a lot of doubt and sadness. He hides feelings from friends so he’ll seem brave, but he’s not afraid to confront them sometimes.

ESTJs are extraverted (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), and judging (J). They are natural organizers. They’re dependable, practical and develop action plans based on logic and experience. Then they roll up their sleeves to pitch in. They keep track of progress to make sure everything is done right. ESTJs are at their best solving concrete problems. Abstract thinking is difficult for them. From their point of view, it’s often pointless.

Part 1 of this two-part series, Extraverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types, appears in an earlier blog.

Introverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types: Part 1 of a Two-Part Series

Why do we love Disney characters so much? What is it about their stories that touches our hearts?

We see reflections of own personalities in characters like Jiminy Cricket, Alice in Wonderland, Pocahontas, and even Merlin. If you know your Myers-Briggs personality type, maybe you can relate to some of them. This blog tells you about the introverts (I) among Disney’s colorful animated characters

aliceintpINTP: Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland is an INTP from a Disney film of that name. The movie opens with Alice sitting by a river, bored and sleepy. Suddenly a white rabbit wearing a waistcoat and pocket watch runs by. True to her adventurous nature, Alice follows him down a rabbit hole, where she falls and falls until she lands in the strange world called Wonderland. Her curious mind leads her into many adventures.

INTPs are introverted (I), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). They explore creative possibilities using their well-developed intuition. Their ability to take in new information seems endless. Just like Alice in Wonderland, they question everything that happens to them, testing new ideas for accuracy. They are quiet, private and observant. Their brains never stop working.

belleinfpINFP: Belle

Belle, an INFP from the Disney film “Beauty and the Beast,” is magically transported into a land where she meets an ugly beast. She loves the Beast, not knowing that he’s a prince under a spell. Only her love can transform him back to the handsome young prince he once was.

INFPs are introverted (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). With her INFP personality, Belle is always open to new experiences. She is a soft-spoken idealist who dedicates herself to helping others. INFPs have strong values that guide their choices in life. Although they live by self-imposed codes, they don’t burden others with their beliefs. They avoid conflict and try not to tell others what to do. They can be assertive when they need to. They always abide by their deeply rooted code of honor.

jiminycricketisfjISFJ: Jiminy Cricket

In the Disney movie “Pinocchio,” ISFJ Jiminy Cricket is given the job of serving as Pinocchio’s conscience. Jiminy is comical and wise, a companion to Pinocchio in his adventures. After the Disney movie became such a great success, Jiminy Cricket appeared in a series of educational films for grade-schoolers. He showed kids how to steer clear of strangers and warned them about other dangers.

ISFJs are introverted (I), sensing (S), feeling (F), and judging (J). As an ISFJ, Jiminy Cricket is modest, orderly and easygoing, but he has a strong sense of duty. ISFJs put much of their energy into helping others. They can be counted on in times of trouble. ISFJs are practical and down-to-earth and rely on the “now” to guide their thinking and behavior. They’re not much concerned about the future. With little need to control others, the main desire of the ISFJ is to see everyone living in harmony.

pocahantasinfjINFJ: Pocahontas

INFJ Pocahontas, the main character of Disney’s animated film by that name, meets Captain John Smith during early colonial days. The encounter occurs while Smith is exploring the wilderness as his ship’s crew searches for gold. The father of Pocahontas, Chief Powhatan, has ordered her to keep away from the English, but she disobeys. When Smith is captured and about to be put to death, Pocahontas rescues him.

INFJs are introverted (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and judging (J). Like all INFJs, Pocahontas is kind, generous and supportive of others. If someone needs help they’re there for them. The integrity of INFJs is evident in everything they do. They’re not outspoken unless they see injustice. Then their actions reflect their ideals. People with problems can rely on INFJs to suggest creative solutions or step in to help in emergencies.

INTJ: Basilbasilintj

INTJ Basil, the main character of Disney’s film “The Great Mouse Detective,” is a brilliant, plucky mouse who refuses to back down in difficult situations. Basil is a jack-of-all-trades and an expert at disguise, even though it sometimes fails. While Basil is typically calm and collected, he can be moody if things don’t go his way. He knows how to be affectionate when someone needs a boost.

INTJs are introverted (I), intuitive (N), thinking (T), and judging (J). They are one of the most independent Myers-Briggs personality types. Sometimes INTJs seem so confident that people find them annoying. They’re occasionally accused of being argumentative. When told this, INTJs can be hurt. That wasn’t their intention. They see themselves as encouraging improvement in others. People of this personality type are good organizers, often rising to leadership positions. They’re good at seeing the big picture.


li-shangistjISTJ: Li Shang

Captain Li Shang is a powerful no-nonsense military man in Disney’s animated film “Mulan.” An ISTJ, he can be harsh in getting his messages across to underlings, but he’s an efficient leader. Li Shang is opinionated about women until he meets Mulan, to whom he is attracted. His social awkwardness is shown by the way he congratulates her for her success in saving China. He tells Mulan, “You fight good.”

ISTJs are introverted (I), sensing (S), thinking (T), and judging (J). They are among the most responsible of Myers-Briggs types. They’re also the most private. In making decisions, they focus on concrete information, missing nothing and taking nothing for granted. They’re not always easy to deal with. While they know how to be cordial when it’s required, it’s usually because they’re trying to be appropriate. Underneath the friendly façade, they remain introverts.

pumbaaisfpISFP: Pumbaa

ISFP Pumbaa, a warthog, is an open-hearted character from Disney’s animated film “The Lion King.” While he sometimes acts like an innocent child, Pumbaa is actually the brains of the outfit. Still, he’s not without his moments of absentmindedness. Pumbaa has a strong sense of loyalty and devotion towards his friends, even when they get into trouble despite his warnings. His courage enables him to rescue Simba.

ISFPs are introverted (I), sensing (S), feeling (F), and perceiving (P). They are more in touch with themselves and the world around them than most other types. They are driven by a love of life and a desire to see and know about everything. They encourage others while not intruding or imposing on them. Because of their gentle, compassionate nature, they may find that other, more assertive types overlook their abilities or take advantage of them.

tinkerbellistpISTP: Tinker Bell

ISTP Tinker Bell is a famous fairy in several animated Disney films. She stands up for the people she cares for, even though she’s not the most tactful fairy in the world. Fearless and determined, she has an active mind. As her name suggests, she’s a tinker. She’s skilled at fixing things, mainly pots and kettles. She also comes up with new inventions to help her friends. Her one weakness is her short temper.

ISTPs are introverted (I), sensing (S), thinking (T), and perceiving (P). As observers of life, they don’t miss much. They’re logical and adaptable to any situation. They can be relied on when immediate action is needed. They need clear goals and are good at working with their hands. ISTPs always look for the most efficient ways to get the job done and ignore details that aren’t important. When things go wrong, unless it’s in their personal lives, they keep a stiff upper lip and move on.

Part 2, Extraverted Disney Characters and Their Personality Types, will follow in the next blog.

INFJ Meets ENTP

INFJs usually get along well with ENTPs. This may be surprising when one considers that they have only one Myers-Briggs trait in common—intuition (N).

With their tendency toward introversion (I), INFJs are reserved and shy. Extraverted (E) ENTPs are gregarious and outgoing. As a feeling type (F), INFJs base their decisions on emotional factors, mainly the impact their choices will have on others. More rational ENTPs, with their thinking (T) preference, make decisions based on hard facts, not feelings. Finally, INFJs with their judging (J) preference, like closure. Open-ended situations make them uneasy. Their goal is to bring matters to a conclusion. As perceivers (P), ENTPs are more happy-go-lucky. They often postpone decisions, barely skate under deadlines, and are late for appointments. If they weren’t so pleasant to be around, they might get on people’s nerves.

INFJs can be counted on to finish a project once it’s started. They’re serious, determined workers. ENTPs are more likely to jump from one challenge to another, leaving a good bit of work unfinished along the way. While both types get excited about thinking up new ventures, ENTPs tend to lose interest in old ones.

Friendship

Because they share the intuitive (N) trait, both Myers-Briggs types are able to see the big picture, which is what motivates their creativity. This is the most powerful connection they have. No matter what setting they’re in, they have ideas about how to improve things. Often they’re almost clairvoyant about the future. They’re confident of their hunches, and usually rightly so. However, INFJs are more averse to taking risks with resources—their own and others’. When ENTPs win, they win big. When they lose, they lose big. Their lives are full of twist and turns. INFJs are more predictable in the courses their lives take.

Both INFJs and ENTPs are independent types. They need freedom to follow their own dreams. They have this characteristic in common and it strengthens their relationship if both have high self-esteem and insist on their autonomy as individuals.

Romance

If an INFJ and ENTP meet and there’s a potential for attraction, it’s obvious to both of them pretty quickly. However, INFJs are reluctant to speak up first because of their natural reserve. ENTPs, on the other hand, are cautious for a different reason. With their rational approach to life, they’re conservative about commitments. On the ENTP’s side, platonic friendship often seems like a good option for a period of time. In contrast, once INFJs are sure of a commitment, their sensual nature urges them on to physical intimacy. If the ENTP isn’t ready for this, the relationship may die a natural death.

If the partnership continues but later falters, the ENTP, being the more rational of the two, may decide that the relationship isn’t up to his or her standard. Perhaps the more stable INFJ becomes boring after a while, causing the ENTP to feel tied down. When this happens, ENTPs usually try to find a diplomatic way out that won’t distress the partner too much. If the relationship ends, the INFJ may be devastated. On the other hand, the ENTP is likely to put his or her inventive brain to work figuring out why it was destined to fail anyhow. When an INFJ partner calls it quits, the ENTP partner uses the same rationalization and recovers relatively quickly.

INFJs who rely on financial security may find living with an ENTP chaotic. At some time or another, most ENTPs find themselves on shaky financial footing. An ENTP partnership may not suit the INFJ who enjoys a quiet, predictable life.

Home Life

As partners in life, INFJ/ENTP couples are likely to have homes jammed with books, gadgets, musical instruments, and hobby supplies. They encourage their children to use them all, especially for learning. Neatness and schedules are likely to be ignored in the scramble for pleasure and challenges. ENTP parents, particularly, offer their children more ideas of things to do than they can possibly manage. The ENTP parent can be counted on for nonstop fun and excitement. The kids may rely on the INFJ parent more for quiet expressions of love and relaxing down time.

ENTPs are more enthusiastic about family celebrations than their reserved INFJ partners. However, it’s often the INFJ who sees that the preparations are done on time and the party starts on schedule. Then the ENTP arrives full of energy and ready to turn on the charm. If the party gets overheated, the ENTP’s behavior is not always appropriate. Sometimes ENTPs pick arguments just for the fun of debating. Less competitive INFJs seldom take pleasure in these exchanges and may feel hurt or annoyed.

When home projects aren’t going the way ENTPs think they should, they are clever at persuading their partners of their point of view and talking them into their solutions. Because they’re so persuasive, they can be manipulative and take advantage of other, less quick-thinking family members.

Secrets of Success

ENTPs who can pause in their hectic pursuits to reflect and spend time in the quiet company of their INFJ partners are likely to calm down. INFJs can encourage them to enjoy intimate exchanges more than they’re accustomed to. Both are likely to benefit from traveling as a couple. They’ll be exposed to challenges and opportunities that stimulate them and, at the same time, deepen the intimacy of their relationship.

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INFJ Meets ESFJ

When an INFJ and ESFJ are drawn to each other, the attraction becomes obvious fairly quickly— although the ESFJ is usually the more transparent of the two and is likely to make the first overtures. INFJs are generally cautious until they’re sure of a relationship.

ESFJs are generous and outgoing, giving without any thought of return. If someone expresses a need, they’re among the first to try to satisfy it. They place a high value on harmony. They’re at their best organizing people for family, community or work events. INFJs are generous, too, but they’re reserved and shrink from being in the public eye.

As traditionalists, ESFJs rely on tried-and-true methods of solving problems. For this reason, they can overlook newer, better approaches that are obvious to others—a habit that may prove annoying for inventive friends and relatives who are reluctant to endanger their relationship with the ESFJ by being critical. This is especially true of INFJs, who usually have innovative ideas but are too tactful to hurt the feelings of less adventurous folks.

Friendship

ESTJs are steadfast friends. They will disrupt their work schedules to accommodate others. If a friend’s car is in the shop, the ESFJ doesn’t hesitate to provide transportation. But when the ESFJ is in the same boat a month later and a friend isn’t willing to reciprocate, hurt feelings are likely to result. Underneath it all, ESFJs need evidence that others care about them, too.

Sometimes ESFJs go to lengths that aren’t healthy in order to make others happy. Being warm and sympathetic is a top priority. If INFJ and ESFJ friends go to a restaurant that serves delicious French pastries, the overweight INFJ might say, “I can have the entrée, but don’t let me have any dessert!” When they’ve finished the main dish, the server comes around with a tray of petit fours. The ESFJ sees the look of longing in the friend’s eyes, knowing that the friend will regret the indulgence later on. What does the ESFJ say? “Go ahead. One dessert can’t hurt you.”

Romance

ESFJ partners are drawn to the rich imaginations and agile minds of INFJs. Falling in love is a totally absorbing experience. If an INFJ encourages the relationship, ESFJs show their affection with gifts, notes, and other symbols of commitment. Even when doing extra favors is inconvenient or expensive, ESFJs go out of their way to satisfy a partner’s desires. Some ESFJs may be more in love with love than with their partners per se.

Unfortunately, ESFJs are not always aware that a relationship is starting to fail. Their outgoing, optimistic natures may lead them to believe that everything is fine. In the meantime, the INFJ may continue a partnership that’s going downhill without airing his or her dissatisfaction. If the truth be known, the INFJ may not want to risk losing the intimacy with the ESFJ without another prospect standing in the wings.

This can be devastating for ESFJs who didn’t see the signs. They tend to deal with these crises by looking for their own mistakes and shortcomings. They think about the times when they were less generous or thoughtful than they might have been, even though this assessment may be baseless. They suffer a period of lowered self-esteem.

Family

In their efforts to keep family life harmonious, both INFJs and ESTJs often sweep problems under the rug rather than air them and resolve the conflict. Partners who swallow their irritation and/or underestimate their own needs tend to wear themselves out or become resentful. They need to risk the good will of others by saying “no” sometimes.

While ESFJs are easygoing and warm at home, they usually have set ideas about social matters—unlike unconventional INFJs. Their expectations are tied to tradition. Often they’re the ones in charge of family get-togethers such as Thanksgiving dinner. Also, they generally take responsibility for buying birthday, anniversary, and holiday gifts.

INFJs don’t understand all the fuss about family celebrations. They’ll go along to keep the peace, but they don’t want to be drawn into a lot of complicated arrangements. They can’t fathom why anyone would like to collect so many people around them over the holidays. INFJs prefer intimate gatherings with just the immediate family present.

ESFJs are involved in school and community activities more than their reserved INFJ partners. They plan educational or character-building social activities for their children, such as after-school sports. The children may accompany them to events at retirement communities or volunteer at animal shelters. INFJs are less group-oriented and have more reserved ways of demonstrating their ideals and desire to help others.

Secrets of Success

When an INFJ and ESFJ stay together and adjust to each other’s styles, they often find that each benefits from the influence of the other. ESFJs help INFJs expand their social horizons and avoid becoming isolated. With their warm personalities, ESFJs attract a circle of friends that can prove stimulating to the INFJ. INFJs can bring more warmth and intimacy to the relationship by initiating activities they share as a twosome, often strengthening their bond.

 

 

INFJ Meets ENFJ

People of the INFJ and ENFJ Myers-Briggs types usually make compatible friends and partners. It makes sense when you look at their shared traits: intuition, feeling, and judging. The two types differ only in their tendencies toward introversion and extraversion, and that’s not all bad. The introverted INFJ is likely to encourage the ENFJ to spend time together so they can enjoy each other’s company in private. The ENFJ, in turn, promotes participation in social activities and group events. This is good for the INFJ, at least some of the time.

Friendship

Like ENFJs, INFJs have a sixth sense for the needs of others. As friends, they often work on projects that involve helping people. The difference between the two is that the INFJ isn’t as obvious or demonstrative. The interpersonal skills of ENFJs make others want to join them. The INFJ is there to back up the ENFJ’s efforts. ENFJs are quick to show their gratitude to friends and co-workers and are generally well liked. INFJs are more reserved. It takes effort for them to show their emotions.

ENFJs and INFJs enjoy activities that require teamwork, especially service work. INFJs do, too, but they’re not as outwardly enthusiastic and verbal. While ENFJs often find themselves pushed into leadership positions at work and in the community, INFJs are happy to let them have the spotlight. They’re satisfied to serve their ENFJ friends as consultants and collaborators.

Both INFJs and ENFJs have strong personalities, radiate authenticity, and rarely betray their ideals. Both are skilled verbally, the INFJ more in writing than speaking. They have an eloquence that helps bring people together in a common cause. They enjoy working together.

Romance

When an INFJ and ENFJ are attracted to each other, it’s all they can think about. However, the ENFJ is usually the one to make the first overtures. INFJs are cautious and fearful of rejection. ENFJs bring gifts to the new partner, write e-mails, and arrange romantic evenings out. They like to talk about the relationship. INFJs are glad to hear the things that they, too, would like to say but are too shy to express.

Being idealists, both types tend to avoid acknowledging the normal ups and downs of a relationship. They may sweep problems under the rug when they should be handled openly. Resolving conflicts can clear the air. Both parties can learn new information that enables them to interact more meaningfully in the future.

Neither the INFJ nor the ENFJ wants to hear anything negative about their partner from friends. Both are sure they’ve made the right choice and don’t want to be told otherwise.

If a partner cheats on them or breaks up the relationship, they suffer considerably. They’re ashamed that things didn’t work out and feel that they’re somehow at fault. The split is likely to be more painful for INFJs than for ENFJs, who are more capable of moving on because of their outgoing nature.

Family Life

If an INFJ and ENFJ decide to build a home together, their family life is likely to be active and happy. They generally make considerate partners and parents. When they’ve brought work home from the office or have personal chores that need doing, they’re willing to put them on hold to meet the needs of their partners and children. As a result, the children may find it easy to impose on their parents. ENFJs, particularly, need to be careful about letting family members take advantage of their easy-going nature.

Both types spend a good deal of their spare time reading. They encourage their children to enjoy books, taking them to the library and often reading to them at bedtime. They like attending educational events as a family. On the way home from a movie or play, ENFJs are likely to engage the children in conversation about the plot and characters. It pleases them to encourage their children to observe the world intelligently. INFJs, being more introspective, enjoy the exchanges but may not have a great deal to contribute.

If family problems arise, the parents may avoid discussing them at first, due to their aversion to conflict. When things get serious enough—and the happiness and comfort of others are at stake— they will bring the family together to resolve the issues. Both are good at fostering a cooperative and amiable home environment.

Secrets of Success

While the INFJ and ENFJ have a lot in common, they should realize that their privacy needs differ and should be respected. The INFJ needs time alone to read, work at the computer, and putter around the house. Some INFJs need the freedom to take retreats by themselves. On the other hand, the ENFJ is an outgoing person who needs to participate in group activities. The INFJ should participate frequently to strengthen their bond.

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INFJ meets ISTJ

It’s fair to say that any two people with this combination of Myers-Briggs traits are likely to have adjustment problems if they’re to function smoothly together. While they are joined in their preference for privacy (introversion), this isn’t enough to make them compatible. Both have a preference for judging, as well, but they use the function in dissimilar ways due to their other trait differences.

The INFJ is introverted (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and judging (J). The ISTJ shares the introverted, judging traits, but is a sensing (S) and (T) thinking type. How do INFJs and ISTJs get along and where do they run into trouble?

Friendship

ISTJs are one of the most responsible of the sixteen Myers-Briggs types, but they can be inflexible. Although INFJs are responsible, too, their drive to meet obligations is softened by concern about the impact of their decisions on others.

ISTJs focus on objective details. They are bound by rules and regulations. INFJs are more comfortable with complex, subtle intellectual considerations. This difference can put them at odds. The ISTJ may view the INFJs as freethinkers, oblivious of convention. INFJs may consider ISTJs to be narrow-minded and rigid.

Another difference in their personalities relates to the way they gather information before making decisions. ISTJs rely on concrete details. They miss nothing and take nothing for granted. INFJs are more imaginative. They’re willing to trust their hunches as the basis for action. They feel that this is justified by the fact that their intuition is so reliable. As friends, INFJs and ISTJs can get impatient with each other because they think so differently.

INFJs are impatient with themselves, but tolerate the idiosyncrasies of others, at least openly. ISTJs, being quite sure of everything they think and do, can be demanding companions. INFJs sometimes find this hard to deal with.

Romance

While ISTJs make loyal partners, they are seldom outwardly sentimental, rarely putting their feelings into words. To them, the fact of their commitment is enough. This can be frustrating to INFJ partners, who like to hear words of affection. Without verbal evidence of a partner’s loyalty, INFJs can feel ignored or unappreciated.

Because ISTJs are traditionalists at heart, they usually conform to stereotypes of their gender. Females engage in conventional female activities, such as cooking and decorating, while males are more “macho”—preferring to watch football or tinker with their cars. They are protective of their female partners, figuring that it’s expected of them. They know how to make the masculine moves that the culture approves of—opening doors, pulling out chairs, and so on.

Family Life

ISTJs are happy to undertake routine responsibilities in the home—mowing the lawn, cleaning the kitchen, getting the children to school on time, and so on. On the other hand, INFJs seldom enjoy activities that involve regularity or what they define as drudgery. They prefer creative tasks, such as decorating rooms in the house or planning dinner menus. While the differences between the types can be complementary, they may cause friction when the two types are collaborating on the same task. When painting a room, for example, the ISTJ is likely to prefer a light, neutral color such as eggshell, while the INFJ may want to experiment with maroon. Neither can understand the other’s choice.

Because ISTJs love tradition, they go all out to celebrate important family events. Everyone is expected to show up and participate. Absentees are likely to have a guilt trip laid on them. INFJs find the ISTJ’s enthusiasm for get-togethers hard to understand. Being intuitive types, they aren’t conventional and don’t see the point, especially if they’re not fond of some of the people involved.

While both types enjoy their home life, ISTJs are neater and tidier. They prefer subdued, tasteful decor. Things are put away. The yard is neat and orderly, with no extravagant landscaping. Here they part company with INFJs, who are chronically untidy—although they do clean up after themselves when prompted. INFJ tastes in decorating are more elaborate and inventive. They’re so caught up in creative projects that messes are inevitable. Pleasure takes priority over neatness.

When children are involved, ISTJs enforce the regulations they learned while growing up. Family roles are clear. Fathers and mothers make the rules and children follow them. INFJs are not bound by tradition. They make up things as they go along. This free-wheeling attitude can be frustrating for ISTJs.

Secrets of Success

The INFJ, being capable of more insight than the ISTJ, may need to make the greatest adjustment in the relationship. However, when major conflicts arise, it’s important for the INFJ to explain to the ISTJ in concrete terms what he or she needs and why. Abstract reasoning frustrates most ISTJs. When handled patiently and given down-to-earth reasons for requests, ISTJs who were once difficult partners may become more spontaneous and tolerant.

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How INFJs Can Lose Out

 

 

 

People of every Myers-Briggs type can carry their preferences too far, with unhappy results. This usually happens when the person is under pressure or stressed. INFJs are no exception. They are introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging creatures—sometimes a recipe for overreaction.

As gifted as INFJs are, life isn’t easy for them. With their tendency toward introversion they’re alone inside their heads a lot—not always a safe neighborhood. Their intuitive preference (N) causes them to be idealists, and the circumstances of life are seldom ideal. Their emotional tendencies (F) can cause them to inflate slights or mistakes. Because of their judging function (J), they may exaggerate imagined consequences. These tendencies sometimes cause INFJs to overwork one or more preferences in an attempt to control difficult situations.

Idealism

When INFJs are too caught up with their vision of life, they may ignore the facts. Even when the evidence contradicts their conclusions, they persist. As a result, they may not know when to cut their losses and move on. Their fruitless search for the ideal causes them to suffer.

A useful antidote is reliance on trusted friends and relatives for feedback. Others may be able to offer helpful reality checks. INFJs are persistent, stubborn folks and it’s sometimes hard for them to release their grip.

Tact

Because of their thoughtful, compassionate natures, INFJs aren’t always forthright about dealing with work or relationship problems. Following the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” they remain silent and allow resentments to build up. When they finally blow up—if that happens—others can’t figure out what happened to the quiet, tactful INFJ they thought they knew.

The paradox is that tactful confrontation comes naturally to INFJs. If they stop to realize this, they may feel more inclined to give helpful feedback to others. By clarifying issues, INFJs pave the way for better relationships with friends, co-workers, and family. Often, their listeners are grateful for the insights and the opportunity to improve matters.

Focus

The judging (J) preference of INFJs gives them focus. It motivates them to complete projects, make decisions without delay and meet commitments on time. They’re reliable folks. Because they have so much faith in their hunches, however, they sometimes act prematurely.

When buying a used car, for example, an INFJ may feel justified making the purchase after merely looking the car over and taking a test ride. If the price is right, having a mechanic check it out seems like needless trouble. So the INFJ buys the car. Later, when it develops engine trouble, the person may regret the hasty decision. If the buyer had been an INFP, not an INFJ (that is, a P, not a J), he or she would probably have taken this precaution. Unlike INFJs, INFPs don’t reach decisions lightly. As perceivers (P), they aren’t satisfied with limited evidence.

INFJs sometimes bypass details to get a job done. They don’t like postponing decisions, waiting for more information. An INFJ invited to work on a project with an ESTP may fail to check on the person’s track record before agreeing to collaborate. INFJs have a tendency to say, “Things will probably work out fine.” Later, they may be exasperated at the ESTPs tendency to talk too much (E), inability to see the big picture (S), disregard for the impact of their work on others (T), and tendency to be late for deadlines (P). Completing the project on time with goodwill intact may be difficult.

Getting Back on Track

When INFJs are relaxed, comfortable with themselves, and back on track, they’re able to use their visionary gifts to best advantage, find creative ways to work and express themselves, and continue to pursue their worthy goals with ease and confidence.

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INFJ Meets INFJ

 

When two INFJs find each other, they’re lucky. After all, only one in one hundred people is an INFJ.

INFJs have many desirable personality traits. They are kind, generous, and helpful to others. When friends or even strangers are in trouble, INFJs hurry to the rescue. They’re ready to offer creative solutions or hands-on support.

Whatever their relationship, they can depend on each other to behave with integrity—whatever the setting. What they do is consistent with their ideals. While the two don’t make a fuss about their standard of ethics, it’s apparent in everything they do.

The reluctance of INFJs to accept praise is partly due to the introverted nature of their personalities. Their desire to avoid the spotlight reflects their need for privacy. In general, they’re at their best concentrating on their ideas and inspirations—not engaging in social niceties.

Friendship

INFJs usually forge lasting friendships when they’re lucky enough to find each other. If they have a common objective, they’re almost sure to work together harmoniously. They’re so persistent and stubborn in their pursuit of goals that they almost always achieve them. INFJs are formidable as a team. If they meet resistance, they only get more determined. Working together, they’re highly respected because of their quiet strength and ability to support each other. Even at play, they’re a delight to be with because they’re so companionable, honest, and usually good-natured.

Because of their shared introversion, they tend to prefer each other’s company with no one else around. When they’re enjoying themselves, they’re sometimes unwilling to invite others into the inner circle. They would do well to make friends with a few extraverts who can encourage them to share their fun or work. Spending time exclusively together can cause them to stagnate without their realizing it.

INFJs are a pleasure to collaborate with when they don’t get too driven. They are clear-thinking, intelligent, and witty. Together, INFJ friends are keen observers of the human scene. It’s hard to put much over on them, because, by the time they share their insights with each other, they’ve usually covered all the bases.

Romance

When two INFJs become romantically attached, they may feel shy about showing their affection at first. They aren’t big risk-takers in the business of romance. At first, they make subtle gestures to encourage the object of their affection. They’re cautious about expressing their feelings for fear of rejection.

If INFJs seem aloof, it’s because they do such a good job of hiding their feelings. It isn’t easy for them to make their emotional needs known. When two INFJs recognize these qualities in each other, they generally have the patience to fish for clues. Eventually they reveal themselves.

Once two INFJs are fully in touch, they’re delighted with the treasure they’ve found. Both have rich imaginations and quick minds. They inspire each other to grow and develop without being controlling.

If, for some reason, the INFJ/INFJ match isn’t working well, the dissatisfied partner may postpone a separation because the intimacy is so important. In cases where one is married and the other isn’t, trouble may be the result. Since INFJs are loyal and ethical, they’re unlikely to leave a marriage partner. If they do, they experience guilt and remorse. This isn’t good for any relationship.

When two INFJs break up, both suffer. Neither forgets the other. Some longing will always remain. INFJs are focused, intense human beings.

Home Life

INFJs are idealists as partners and parents. They desire harmony, sometimes avoiding family conflicts that should be resolved by direct means. When disagreements arise, INFJ partners do well to find privacy and quiet time to discuss them. Because they’re complex people with subtle feelings, conflicts need to be sorted out carefully. Bold confrontations tend to backfire and cause resentments.

As parents, INFJs encourage their children to develop a number of skills and get a good education. They will sacrifice considerable time and money to this end. If the children appear rebellious, uncooperative, or difficult for any reason, INFJs try hard to discover the source of the problem. As long as the children put forth genuine effort and appear to be making good use of their intelligence, the parents are mostly happy.

The INFJs’ home has an abundance of books, sports equipment, musical instruments, and other paraphernalia scattered around as evidence of the couple’s many interests and hobbies. The more they can share these as a family, the happier they are. At the same time, each needs personal space where he or she can have privacy.

The homes of INFJ couples are sometimes neat and organized, sometimes cluttered. It depends on how caught up they are in current hobbies and interests. Keeping an orderly environment feels good, but it’s not top priority. Their surroundings may be cluttered but their minds are extremely organized.

Secrets of Success

INFJs have a strong attraction for each other. They’re also intense and focused. To keep their relationship healthy, they need to preserve their needs for personal privacy while, at the same time, cultivating social outlets. They should give each other the space needed for individual pursuits but spend time with friends, too.

INFJ Meets ISFP

 

 

As one of sixteen Myers-Briggs types, the INFJ is introverted (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), and judging (J). A little different from the ISFP—who shares the introverted (I) and feeling (F) traits but not the intuitive (N) and judging (J) traits.

Both have a need for some privacy to collect themselves and regroup. If the INFJ says to an ISFP partner, “I think I’ll go out and straighten up the garage,” the ISFP is likely to interpret this as a need for time alone and say “Good idea,” rather than “Want me to come?” Or, if the ISFP heads outside with watercolors and paintbrush, the INFJ probably won’t offer to tag along. They both treasure their private space.

Their feeling (F) function makes them sensitive to each other’s needs—another Myers-Briggs trait they share. In fact, they base most of their personal decisions upon the impact they’ll have on others. Before making any large purchases, accepting invitations, or making important choices, they consult their partners.

Of course, feelings still get hurt sometimes. After attending a party where the couple doesn’t know many people, the INFJ may comment, “My feelings were hurt when you left me stranded at the buffet table.” An ISFP partner doesn’t retort, “Well, can’t you take care of yourself?” He or she is more likely to say “Gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

Their shared traits of introversion (I) and feeling (F) make them understand each other’s tendency to be shy. They realize that both are too critical of themselves, tending to undervalue their skills. The positive aspect of this is that they can offer mutual reassurance.

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)

An important difference between the INFJ and ISFP lies in their intuitive/sensing (I/S) functions. Intuitive types rely on their hunches to make decisions. They don’t take in all the details that the sensing person does, but they can draw sound conclusions without them. The sensing type has a watchful eye and misses nothing. In their world, decisions should be based on facts, not hunches.

Driving home from a meeting, the sensing person may say, “Did you see the Rolex Jason was wearing and the Vuitton case he was carrying?” The intuitive partner may answer, “I thought something was up when he kept looking at his watch and opening his briefcase. What a show-off!”

Perceiving (P) vs. Judging (J)

The couple’s differences in perceiving (P) and judging (J) can sometimes cause friction because the INFJ makes decisions more impulsively than the methodical ISFP. Perceiving (P) types like to postpone closure as long as possible, being more comfortable with open-ended situations.

Shopping for a printer, the INFJ may be satisfied with the prices and ratings on Amazon and be ready to order online. Not the ISFP. “I want to see what the print-outs look like,” says the ISFP. Or, “Maybe we can find a better price somewhere else.”

Unless the INFJ appreciates the ISFP’s need to keep decisions open-ended until the last minute—and until the ISFP understands the INFJ’s impatience for closure—they may be in for some frustrating moments. Because of their judging (J) function, INFJs rarely miss deadlines and are always on time for appointments. ISFPs, as perceivers (P), are inclined to make deadlines by the skin of their teeth and be anywhere from five to thirty minutes late for social events.

Falling in Love

Falling in love is a major event for both INFJs and ISFPs. In the first stages of an affair, they’re seldom separated, immersing themselves in each other’s company. If the relationship continues, they’re usually loyal partners. One may even change careers or relocate for the good of the partnership.

INFJs and ISFPs are good at entertaining each other with their wide-ranging interests and taste for adventure. Together they make take up new activities such as camping, art, or gourmet cooking. Of the two, the ISFP is inclined to be more graceful and athletic because they enjoy the feeling of their bodies in motion. They often excel at physical activities requiring both sensitivity and strength, such as dancing and figure skating.

The main problems that INFJs and ISFPs face usually stem from their tendency to avoid disagreements. They may fail to stand up for or even recognize their own emotional needs. If the air isn’t cleared and resentments are allowed to develop, the relationship can be damaged to the point where one or the other strays, looking for a more agreeable partner. This can be devastating for the person left behind, as both types are naturally vulnerable to rejection and prone to self-criticism.

INFJ Meets ESTP

When an INFJ meets an ESTP, some special chemistry must be at work for them to enjoy time together. These Myers-Briggs types are exact opposites.

The INFJ (I) is introverted—a private person. The ESTP (E) is sociable and outgoing. INFJs rely more on intuition (N) than concrete facts to reach conclusions. ESTPs use their sensing (S) function to get information from the immediate environment. INFJs take action based on their feeling (F) function, evaluating the impact of their decisions on others. ESTPs pride themselves on their ability to reach decisions based on logic (T). Finally, INFJs like to bring closure to situations, a judging (J) function. ESTPs like to keep decisions open-ended. They’re happy-go-lucky about appointment times and deadlines—unlike INFJs, who arrive places on time and meet their deadlines.

If it’s true that opposites attract, that surely must be the case for INFJs and ESTPs.

Friendship

Introverted (I) INFJs approach friendship in a quiet, thoughtful way. They are comfortable alone or with one or two close friends. ESTPs can be found wherever the action is.

While both types have a sense of humor, INFJs lean toward subtle, dry wit whereas ESTPs paint their humor in broad strokes. Some INFJs find the bluff approach of ESTPs a bit much. ESTPs often find INFJs a little boring. Both types like to laugh, but they find their humor in different places.

The intuitive (N) INFJ observes what’s going on—requiring a limited amount of concrete information to guess where events are headed and determine what decisions to make. INFJs rely on hunches. And they’re usually on target. They’re more interested in the meaning of events than in the events themselves. Sensing (S) ESTPs wonder how their INFJ friends can jump to conclusions based on so little evidence. It seems crazy to them. The fact that the INFJ is often right is an unexplainable mystery.

Romance

INFJs are big on romance and physical intimacy. Their introversion, intuition and feeling traits set them up for it. For ESTPs, love has less to do with intimacy than it does with finding a fun partner with whom to share life’s adventures.

While the INFJ is cautious in the first stages of a relationship due to fear of rejection, the ESTP is the opposite. Winning an exciting partner is a challenge—in fact, it’s one of the main objects of romance. Because ESTPs would rather make romantic moves on the ski slopes than in the bedroom, the INFJ can get disappointed in the relationship. ESTPs are generally not creative or passionate lovers.

Unlike most INFJs, ESTPs are risk takers, whether the risks are physical, financial or intellectual. They’re willing to play for high stakes in the hope of high rewards. They especially enjoy looking for loopholes or unusual pay-offs relative to the time or money invested.

To the INFJ, this is foolhardy. The pipe dreams of the ESTP seem risky to the INFJ and frequently the product of poor judgment. In a partnership, this can cause trouble over time. ESTPs tend to lay themselves open to con schemes. INFJs are usually too intuitive to fall for them. The question is, can an INFJ get an ESTP partner to listen?

When a partner ends a relationship, it’s a bitter pill for the INFJ to swallow. In contrast, an abandoned ESTP will be unhappy for a while but soon decide that life is too short for grief and sadness. ESTPs know how to cut their losses and face new challenges.

Family Life

INFJs are enjoyable to live with, offering the family intimacy as well as intellectual stimulation. ESTPs are fun to live with, too, but for different reasons. Their spontaneity keeps things lively and their practical orientation to life makes sure that things get done.

While INFJs have no trouble taking action when it’s appropriate, they do think before jumping in. ESTPs are more likely to fly by the seat of their pants. If the family dog escapes from the yard and runs off, the ESTP is in the car immediately, patrolling the neighborhood and calling the dog’s name. “Bruno! Bruno! Where are you?” The INFJ, thinking before acting, recalls that Bruno has a doggie friend one block away. Acting on a hunch, he or she calls the neighbor. Sure enough, Bruno is scratching at the chain link fence where his friend stands waiting, tail wagging.

ESTPs know how to anticipate the needs of partners and children when it suits them. Occasionally, though, they’re so direct that feelings are hurt when they overlook ordinary courtesies. INFJs may have to overcome their conflict-avoidant style to point this out to the ESTP for the good of everyone involved.

As parents, INFJs and ESTPs work in harmony. Both have realistic expectations of their children. They don’t need to see straight A’s when report cards come home as long as the children are applying themselves and working toward goals that are productive and make them happy.

INFJs aren’t the tidiest people in the world, but they’re better than ESTPs, who tend to live in cluttered home environments. That’s because ESTPs have so much going on at once—much of it requiring supplies and equipment. However, they may keep certain areas of the house organized enough that they can find the right thing when it’s needed. The parts of their home that are orderly usually relate to their hobbies or special interests.

ESTPs often try to talk family members into risk-taking sports such as hang-gliding, white-water rafting, or downhill skiing. They tire of safe domestic routines. Attacking the unpredictable gives them a rush. INFJs aren’t as adventurous and may balk at the suggestion of sports that threaten life and limb.

Secrets of Success

An important bond for the INFJ/ESTP couple is the love they share for children, close relatives, friends, and even pets. They may have different perspectives on the world, but at least they share the rose-colored glasses of affection.

In the intimacy of their partnership, they should realize that a little give and take is in order. INFJs do well to expand their social activities with ESTPs, spending time as a couple with friends and relatives. ESTPs need to pay attention to the emotional needs of the INFJs, at least some of the time.

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