INFJ Meets ENTP
INFJs usually get along well with ENTPs. This may be surprising when one considers that they have only one Myers-Briggs trait in common—intuition (N).
With their tendency toward introversion (I), INFJs are reserved and shy. Extraverted (E) ENTPs are gregarious and outgoing. As a feeling type (F), INFJs base their decisions on emotional factors, mainly the impact their choices will have on others. More rational ENTPs, with their thinking (T) preference, make decisions based on hard facts, not feelings. Finally, INFJs with their judging (J) preference, like closure. Open-ended situations make them uneasy. Their goal is to bring matters to a conclusion. As perceivers (P), ENTPs are more happy-go-lucky. They often postpone decisions, barely skate under deadlines, and are late for appointments. If they weren’t so pleasant to be around, they might get on people’s nerves.
INFJs can be counted on to finish a project once it’s started. They’re serious, determined workers. ENTPs are more likely to jump from one challenge to another, leaving a good bit of work unfinished along the way. While both types get excited about thinking up new ventures, ENTPs tend to lose interest in old ones.
Because they share the intuitive (N) trait, both Myers-Briggs types are able to see the big picture, which is what motivates their creativity. This is the most powerful connection they have. No matter what setting they’re in, they have ideas about how to improve things. Often they’re almost clairvoyant about the future. They’re confident of their hunches, and usually rightly so. However, INFJs are more averse to taking risks with resources—their own and others’. When ENTPs win, they win big. When they lose, they lose big. Their lives are full of twist and turns. INFJs are more predictable in the courses their lives take.
Both INFJs and ENTPs are independent types. They need freedom to follow their own dreams. They have this characteristic in common and it strengthens their relationship if both have high self-esteem and insist on their autonomy as individuals.
If an INFJ and ENTP meet and there’s a potential for attraction, it’s obvious to both of them pretty quickly. However, INFJs are reluctant to speak up first because of their natural reserve. ENTPs, on the other hand, are cautious for a different reason. With their rational approach to life, they’re conservative about commitments. On the ENTP’s side, platonic friendship often seems like a good option for a period of time. In contrast, once INFJs are sure of a commitment, their sensual nature urges them on to physical intimacy. If the ENTP isn’t ready for this, the relationship may die a natural death.
If the partnership continues but later falters, the ENTP, being the more rational of the two, may decide that the relationship isn’t up to his or her standard. Perhaps the more stable INFJ becomes boring after a while, causing the ENTP to feel tied down. When this happens, ENTPs usually try to find a diplomatic way out that won’t distress the partner too much. If the relationship ends, the INFJ may be devastated. On the other hand, the ENTP is likely to put his or her inventive brain to work figuring out why it was destined to fail anyhow. When an INFJ partner calls it quits, the ENTP partner uses the same rationalization and recovers relatively quickly.
INFJs who rely on financial security may find living with an ENTP chaotic. At some time or another, most ENTPs find themselves on shaky financial footing. An ENTP partnership may not suit the INFJ who enjoys a quiet, predictable life.
As partners in life, INFJ/ENTP couples are likely to have homes jammed with books, gadgets, musical instruments, and hobby supplies. They encourage their children to use them all, especially for learning. Neatness and schedules are likely to be ignored in the scramble for pleasure and challenges. ENTP parents, particularly, offer their children more ideas of things to do than they can possibly manage. The ENTP parent can be counted on for nonstop fun and excitement. The kids may rely on the INFJ parent more for quiet expressions of love and relaxing down time.
ENTPs are more enthusiastic about family celebrations than their reserved INFJ partners. However, it’s often the INFJ who sees that the preparations are done on time and the party starts on schedule. Then the ENTP arrives full of energy and ready to turn on the charm. If the party gets overheated, the ENTP’s behavior is not always appropriate. Sometimes ENTPs pick arguments just for the fun of debating. Less competitive INFJs seldom take pleasure in these exchanges and may feel hurt or annoyed.
When home projects aren’t going the way ENTPs think they should, they are clever at persuading their partners of their point of view and talking them into their solutions. Because they’re so persuasive, they can be manipulative and take advantage of other, less quick-thinking family members.
Secrets of Success
ENTPs who can pause in their hectic pursuits to reflect and spend time in the quiet company of their INFJ partners are likely to calm down. INFJs can encourage them to enjoy intimate exchanges more than they’re accustomed to. Both are likely to benefit from traveling as a couple. They’ll be exposed to challenges and opportunities that stimulate them and, at the same time, deepen the intimacy of their relationship.
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