We INFJs, like the other fifteen Myers-Briggs types, have our weak spots—vulnerabilities that sometimes bring us into conflict with others or cause personal problems. To be healthy and fully functional, we need to take advantage of all eight Myers-Briggs traits: introvert (I), extravert (E), sensing (S), intuitive (N), thinking (T), feeling (F), judging (J), and perceiving (P).
I am a good example:
As an INFJ
- I tend to prefer solitude or the company of only one or two friends (I). Crowded social scenes turn me off.
- My intuitive nature (N) blesses me with creativity, fresh insights into the future, and the ability to second-guess others—sometimes a source of annoyance to them.
- As a feeling (F) type, I am mindful of the effects of my actions on others and concerned about their well-being, although I can take my emotional tendencies too far.
- The judging tendencies of my personality (J) make me prompt, reliable and conscientious, but sometimes overdemanding.
My News Year’s Resolutions
1. This year, I won’t be such a mole. When invited to a social event, I won’t go straight to my default “NO.” At least I’ll say, “Let me think about it,” or “Let me check my calendar.”
2. I’ll answer the phone every time it rings unless caller ID tells me it’s a telemarketer.
3. When the doorbell rings, I won’t pretend that no one is home.
4. When I do my taxes this year, I won’t make numbers up. I’ll actually look for my records.
5. Sometimes, when someone asks, “How are you doing?” I’ll give them an honest answer.
6. If I want or need help, I’ll ask for it.
7. Instead of fretting over personal conflicts, I’ll go straight to the source.
8. When a problem arises, I’ll press for a straightforward talk about it.
9. I’ll offer sincere praise and thanks to others when it’s due.
10. I’ll allow others to explain their opinions and objections without countering every argument.
11. I will not confuse my intellectual excitement with hands-on achievement.
12. I will listen to others, even when I don’t agree with them.
13. In an argument, I will look for common ground before focusing on differences.
14. I will find something to praise in the arguments of another person.
15. I will not be condescending or sarcastic.
16. I will smile genuinely at least once during an exchange of points.
17 I will remember that listening doesn’t mean agreeing.
18. When disagreeing with someone, I will avoid rude comments and insults.
19. Rather than end an argument angrily, I will thank the other person for his or her time and opinion.
20. Before leaving an argument I will extend the hand of friendship.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”